America is said to be a free country. The people are said to be able to do what they want with no restrictions. Yet the people of America are all slaves. Slaves of whom?
A more appropriate question would be: Slaves of what?
Time. A universal unit of measurement. A never-ending strand of domination.
Since the beginning, whether religiously or scientifically, the human race have
measured everything in time. The time it took for God to create the Earth. The
time it took for the human species to evolve from apes.
The human race has been using Time as a matter of understanding how the Earth
works. In reality, Time has been taunting us with glimpses of the future and
thoughts for hope and faith in the world. It has sent us on a path unknown to
any human or god.
A lost reality.
The human people rush. They hold contests on how fast someone can eat
something. They drive miles over the speed limit. They try to get to work, or
school rather, on time. The bus comes at a specific time. Every scoreboard has
a timer.
Rush. Fast. Limit. Time. Timer.
Five different scenarios. They all have some type of connection to time and
they all are keen examples of how everyone is slaves of Time. How they use Time
without actually thinking about it.
It
seems to come natural to the human being. To not care. To take our time. To
rush. To live in the moment. To want it to pass by quickly.
Modern day slavery. The kind that takes us by the mind, not by the body. The
kind that becomes so unknown that it scares people how they are subjected to
its unearthly powers.
Yet the human race can do nothing to free themselves. They can do nothing to break free from the chains that have held them and their ancestors down for many generations.
For now and forever, the human race will always be slaves.
Slaves of Time.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,837 Reviews
What a powerful concept. I love this so much!
Your originality and creativity really shines through in this. AMAZING WORK!
I hope you will post more work like this!
Sorry for the short review, but I just wanted to say Kudos to you for writing such an amazing piece (even if it was for school!)
Happy Writing!
<3
This was a very interesting paper to read. It is well-written and well informed however the fact that the paper shifted from talking about America to talking about the human race in general kind of threw me off. Also, I find the use of "human people." in paragraph six odd. Overall, you did a good job and I would like to read more from you. Nice work!
Thank you so much for your review! (I probably should have edited myself before I posted it) I will make the necessary changes that would make more sense.
"Everyone's opinion matters"
Keep Writing
-Zora
Hey! Cello here for a quick review!
This is a wonderful concept- coincidently one I have been thinking about a ton over the past few weeks. 'Time is but a concept constructed by society' You did a beautiful job putting this into words.
A few flaws though...
You start focusing on America and end with
Your category gets bigger, which is fine, but you have to acknowledge the change.
'...people of America are slaves. No, all people are slaves. You might be wondering, 'slaves of whom?'"
This knocks out the first problem, showing that you know you're expanding the group. It also shows that the speaker (you) know what you're talking about. 'Slaves of whom?' is more of a readers question vs a speakers question so you need to show that it's not the speaker asking it.
Just watch your capitalization here.
Again here. Sometimes you capitalize time and sometimes you don't. Try to keep consistent.
You're kind of repeating here. 'rush' and 'fast' are very similar. 'timer' and 'limit' too. 'time' can't be an example of how people are slaves of time. Time is the umbrella category, it can't be one of the more select groups. Really, in the end, time is all the same thing. You rush to make the dead line. You speed to get somewhere on time. It's all about 'limits' or set points. Whatever, just a suggestion.
Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Thank you so much for your review! I understand that there is a lot of things wrong with this essay and I will take the time to re-edit it using yours and everyone else's reviews.
Thank you so much!
"Everyone's opinion matters"
Keep Writing!
-Zora