16+ Violence

Chains of Fate: Chapter 1, Night and Day

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

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~Night~

Hidden in the jungle’s night canopy was a joyful-looking young man in a loose dark robe with long purple-black hair and steady hazel eyes. If it wasn't for the vast swarm of giant spiders all around him, one might mistake him for a common human. If one was to look closely, they would see that these creatures were not swarming nor attacking him- they were instead waiting, looking with him at the jungle floor. The youth twitched ever so slightly, a strong, burning smell filling the air as a layer of darkness overtook both him and the spider swarm, the collective group disappearing.

“Are you sure it was this way?” A growling voice said, forcing its way through the overgrowth.

“Yes, my nose picked up plenty of mana in this direction. Those mages are close.”

A group of wolf monsters appeared in the spot that young man was looking at not too long ago, their vibrant and colorful furs, they clashed harshly with the cool greens around them. They were called the Fenri, massive creatures that clearly were not made for the jungle environment.

The Fenri were heavily armored and had special, hooked blades attached to each of their paws, allowing their attacks more reach as the blades were far longer than any of their natural features. The blades faintly glowed with mana, a sign of either enchantment or special skills the monsters had. A massive Fenri shoved its way through the underbrush and sniffed at the ground before looking at his followers.

“I smell spiders and mana.” The massive Fenri growled, “Do the mages have a summoner now?” The lead Fenri was clearly frustrated at this possibility. They had been suffering far too many setbacks under the invading swarms of man. A summoner, a humanoid entity that could call upon other beings to fight for it, was far from a major problem, but small problems added up. While he and his clan of wolf monsters were not part of this jungle, they had agreed to come under the assumption that they would get free land in exchange for handling a tiny number of enemies. This place was hardly worth the effort if this continued. They had simply lost too many Fenris.

Annoyed, he glanced at one of his fellow monsters and said, “Quickly, tell the others. The rest of you stick with me as we try to track this scent.”

The Fenri nodded his head before rushing off into the distance.

The smell of mana never fully went away, which told them that the mage was close. Half an hour passed while they kept looking, yet the smell never moved far- only the spider smells seemed to shift. They kept digging around before the lead wolf realized that some of the spiders' scent had moved in the direction of the wolf they just sent out. A loud clicking filled the air as they saw spiders carrying a hairy creature on their back, running at the wolves as if to show off their prize.

One of the pack was clearly more enraged as he realized what happened, his eyes flashing red as he noticed his dead friend and began charging at the spiders, planning to slaughter them. The lead Fenri tried to stop the raging wolf but was too late- a massive wall of metal fell from the treetops, decapitating him before he was even halfway to his target. They roared in rage before glancing around them, watching as more and more spiders appeared as if they were born from the very shadows.

“Lousy summoner, do you expect to scare us with this low-level swarm?” The lead Fenri finally smelled out the mage who was sitting in the canopy well above them. While he could not see him, the wolf knew the mage was there.

“Na,” a voice sounded through the trees. “I just wanted to group you all together.”

The pack leader stayed still, but the rest of his group panicked, running off in different directions. As much as the pack leader hated all of his group running, he could understand their lost nerve. This summoner was playing with them. As the pack leader expected, he soon heard loud screams as each one was swarmed, too far apart from each other to do anything but stare at their lost friends as they, too, were eaten.

The leaves around the jungle started to shake as the swarm of spiders started all crawling back around the pack leader. That joyful, young man appeared as if from the night itself like a grim reaper. “You didn’t train your pack all that well.” The young man commented, his arm layered in darkness.

“Where is the summoner?” The Fenri leader said.

“You’re looking at him.” The young man waved a hand, a spider shining into existence.

“How-” The Fenri didn’t have time to voice his question. Three bolts of pure black imbedded in his head before it exploded, gore splattering the trees. The young man pulled out a glowing blue potion, quickly downing the concoction. As the feeling of mana filled his being, he unsummoned the many spiders and summoned two fire elementals who quickly burned the Fenri to ash.

As soon as he burned all of their bodies, he unsummoned the elementals and jumped, a passive skill boosting his speed and agility so much that he easily cleared the jungle’s various trees, landing on the highest point above him. He was a unique being, not only a summoner which gave him the ability to call upon all sorts of creatures, but a dark mage. Dark mages, beyond their many skills, enjoyed a vast number of augmentative boost to their speed and agility. The passive skill he was using for his feat of superhuman speed was known simply as ‘dark jump’ and ‘momentum,’ two unique skills only the light mages could match at such a low level as his.

After a few casual glances around his environment, the young man ran through the jungle with a practiced grace like he had spent his time in these trees all his life. After a full hour of running in circles to confuse any pursuers, he stopped at a ruined old building, the remains of a tower that had long been abandoned. Shifting his body around, he faded into the night, his body and scent gone. If one were to see through his invisibility skill, they would notice him walk up to the tower wall, wave his hand, and then step right through the wall.

Underground, he stepped into a vast maze of tunnels, too dark for any human or monster eye, but he easily navigated the maze thanks to his dark mage abilities, before calmly walking into a large room. Inside, again in pure darkness, was a purple-haired man with pitch-black eyes. In front of him was a desk stacked high with papers, so much that only magic could have been holding them up. There was nothing else in the room, which was the point; this whole base could be easily abandoned and leave no traces with a simple fire.

“Ah, Francis, give me a moment. You have a letter, and I am guessing you came to report on that job of yours.” The purple-haired man said.

Francis smiled before he pulled out a paper. If one could see in the dark, they would see a small painting of the monster wolf leader that Francis had ambushed and killed only a hour before. The paper had a detailed outline of all of the wolves moments and exactly how he and his pack had been killed.

“So, how did it go?” The purple haired man said sifting through papers. “Easy as you said?”

“For a pack leader, he doesn't really spend much time with his pack.” Francis said, pulling burnt hair out of his pocket. “He only had five wolves with him. Are you sure he was even worth paying me to kill?” The purple-haired man twitched slightly, holding back a pained laugh. That wolf and his pack had killed hundreds of powerful mages and warriors. If it was anyone else, he’d assume the person was bluffing, that the cocky grin just showing off that he survived; however, this mage has killed far more than a few hundred powerful monsters. After a few minutes digging through the unorganized tower of paper, he pulled out an envelope, a delicate wave decorating its wax seal. Choosing to open it now rather than later, Francis was surprised at what he found.

Inside that letter was an invitation to visit the famed elf enchanter Val'caler, an old friend.

*********************************

~Day~

Screams of pain echoed through the jungle along with manic laughter. If one were to stumble into this mess, all they could call it was slaughter. A short, white-haired gnome girl dressed in a loose shirt, thick pants, and a outstanding number of colorful wrappings was dancing with her halberd in a mass of corpses. Each one had a lopped off head and a horrifying number of injuries that outlined just how violently they had died.

Not just any corpses- each one was a massive monster covered in thick, metallic hair, their features resembling some sort of mutant beatle. Their bodies were towering and bulky like they were made to overpower anything. They were well above the girl in power, but they were also being slaughtered before they could even react. As soon as the last one died, the little gnome girl’s smile died down. Her eyes grew dull, and she stopped laughing. Slaughter was her joy; the moment the killing stopped, she lost her shine. A flash covered her body as she faded into the light, invisible to the world as she rushed off.

The fight was a surprise to its victims. Only minutes ago, them and the biggest in their group, a strong and powerful bug-like monster covered in thick armor, was bragging about his plans to gain their queen’s praise through murdering more gnomes.

Just as he got into his plans to bring a string of heads back to their queen, a flash of light filled their vision, blinding everyone. A loud ringing burned out all of their ears, and, when they finally could see and hear again, they realized they were covered in a horrifying amount of blood.

Their proud and respected leader’s head had been blown off, two of their group were torn to shreds, and another was currently being hacked away with a halberd by a short girl with so much blood on her that they mistook her for another monster.

Rage fueled them as they saw their leader and friends killed in front of them, but before they could react, she jumped away from the body, hacking into another while laughing. Such a cute and childish voice that shouldn’t have mixed with such a harsh and violent scene. Before anyone could fight back, all of them were dead.

A few miles away, a swarm of even more monsters were gathered, a camp formed from the more intelligent of their group. A swarm of clicks and growls filled the air that if understood would express fear and confusion.

“Three more patrols were killed.”

“I thought you said we were winning!”

“Freaking gnomes were easy just a few months ago!”

Looking into the swarm of insect-like monsters, a massive creature stood in the middle of them. A female, human-like upper-body was visible, her human half dressed in fur and iron plates in such a way she resembled a barbarian queen. After tolerating the clicking of her followers for several more minutes, she let out a loud growl. The many, monstrous bugs went silent.

“Now then,” The leader of the camp shifted her stance. “When our queen was given the offer of this land from the dragon king, Milenth, in exchange for repelling those gnomes. I was told to gather a group of strong and brave Vermis under my command. I looked into every one of your histories in order to find a group I could trust.” She stopped talking to look around at all of the assembled vermis, most of them shifting the metallic fur of their bodies as if trying to make themselves more imposing.

“Now that we are here, our great swarm has killed hundreds of those tiny gnomes, yet the moment they start fighting back you start whining?!” Her growling and clicking voice started getting deeper, “You accepted my call knowing the risk, did you not? All in the name of the queen and your families within the swarm for this land.” She shifted her weight before walking out of the crowd. “Call back the patrols, we already know where their camps are. If none of you can stand to weaken their army, we shall do what a swarm does best.”

The many vermis could feel her disappointment and rage, some even starting to click out that they were fine with how things were and how they wanted to continue her great plans. However, an odd light appeared, along with a single, small gnome.

The gnome girl was still dressed in a simple mix of shapes and colors that made her seem like she was a small child hidden under adult clothes. As surprising as it was to see such a childish look in their camp, something else drew their attention.

There was blood everywhere.

The girl was grinning, posed there with an oversized halberd, her childish and colorful figure stained with so much blood that it looked like she bathed in it. The overpowering stench of death suffused her being- so strong that they had no idea how they had missed her until now. She looked like a maiden of death had come to reap their souls.

While all of this was going on, a small group of gnomes looked on from a massive wall of stone, many other gnomes quickly building more and more walls, downing mana potions like they had not drunk for days. Within the group was a strong looking gnome with a long beard, his thick iron armor covered in runes that marked him as unique from the group. As he looked at the blood-soaked girl flashing into existence, he started muttering to himself.

“I told her to wait until we at least put up the wall. Suicidal brat.”

“Should we help?” A nearby gnome asked.

“Let idiots live and die on their own terms.” The bearded commander said.

As soon as the monstrous vermis processed what they were seeing, the blood-soaked girl disappeared in a flash of light.

“A light mage assassin!” The largest of the vermis, who stood beside camps leader growled. “Find her, quickly!”

After he gave that order, a flash of light filled the air, blinding everyone as his head popped. As soon as their vision settled, they saw the blood-soaked girl in the same exact spot, chugging a mana potion before she disappeared in another flash of light.

Various skills filled the air where she was only moments ago, hoping she would have stood still, but they clearly hit thin air. This was all the more clear when a large halberd appeared and hacked half-way through the neck of one of the many vermis.

The air was thick with the smell of mana as panicked vermis started bombarding their dead comrade in the hopes that the little freak who killed him would die as well. As the dust settled, she was gone again. and their ally was a bloody meat paste on the ground. Before they could process what they did. a loud cry filled the air as another of their allies realized the girl’s halberd had impaled his heart. She kept doing this, appearing mid-kill and then fading away as panicked bugs attacked their own dying allies.

The vermis leader frowned as she watched on. All of the lost swarm were next to rocks, tents, and trees. While she couldn’t see the girl any better than the rest, it was clear she was using the environment for cover, turning her invisibility into teleportation in the eyes of her group. After five of her swarm were killed, she quickly activated a powerful spell of her own, aiming for a tree to the side. As it made contact, ripping through the trunk, a small girl appeared spinning backwards. It was clear that she avoided the skill but she was still blown away by the pressure. The various colorful wrappings around her arm undid themselves, exposing scar-riddled flesh.

Taking a moment to right herself, the girl grinned at her enemies before downing another mana potion, disappearing in a flash of light. If one could see through her invisibility, they would see her jumping repeatedly in the sky, small dots of light forming under her feet to give her something to jump on.

“Launch the signal.” The commander said, glancing at the half-finished encirclement of stone.

“Yes, Sir.” a gnome to his right said. Lightning started dancing around his arm before he fired a bolt into the air. A loud noise filled the air, leaves nearby shaking and the many vermis below twitched from surprise before they looked over.

The Underground was a complex network of supports all holding up the ceiling in the most precarious of ways, as if it was made to fall. A single tunnel connected to it, which a line of gnomes was standing inside, each with a flicker of flame in their hands. “Signal received.” One of the gnomes said before throwing his fireball, the other gnomes following after him.

As soon as the first ball hit, the entire support structure started to warp, collapsing entirely when more balls of fire flew in.

Back on the surface, the ground of the vermis came started dropping gradually until the whole thing suddenly dropped, a massive single hole claiming most of the vermis encampment many lives. Only three remained, including the half human leader. Her eyes were red with rage as she attempted to charge the rock wall at the gnome’s commander.

“Level 20 incoming.” One of the gnomes yelled.

While she was focused on the commander and his army, the last of the vermis died under the little girl’s halbard before she shifted her gaze on the most powerful target.

“Light spear in one minute.” She yelled, her voice amplified with magic. She started running in the direction of the half human looking vermis, her form flickering under the light mage passive boost she enjoyed by her class, the skill charge repeatedly used under her other class as a warrior.

“Lightning mages! Prepare your spells!” The commander gnome yelled. A large group of men and women gathered on the edges of stone wall, electricity flowing across their bodies. A wall of lightning enveloped the vermis, absolutely decimating everything around her. When the smoke cleared, however, she was not only alive, but hardly scratched at all. Everything around her but the ground she stood on was in ruins.

“Again!” The commander yelled, another wall of lightning hit the vermis woman.

“Again!”

“Again!”

For the entire minute wall after wall of lightning encased that monster but nothing truly damaged her. No matter how many attacks they fired at her, most of them had hardly reached level 10-the insurmountable wall that was a high ranked level 20 monster was far beyond any of their skills and magic.

“You’re all dead, you shameless beasts!” The vermis woman yelled, enraged by the tragedy that they wrought on her.

Shing

A blinding light encased the monster, and a harsh explosion was heard. The blood-soaked girl from before appeared only a few feet from the monster, fearlessly chugging a mana potion, a spear of light forming in her hands. “I can probably drink a few more without hurting myself.” The girl mused.

Shing

Glug

Shing

Glug

The world was a blinding white as she fired a spell that drained every ounce of her mana, then forcefully refilled her mana pool with a potion. When she was finally ran out of mana potions, everyone could finally view the damage she caused. The monster was gone, not defeated, but she was in a deep and massive hole, the raging creature was frantically clawing at her eyes. Still unharmed, but blinded.

“Bury her.” The commander yelled. The earth mages that had been building walls all ran over, summoning stone and dirt with all they could, massive boulders dooming the monster to a slow death.

“If the family knew I was using their treasured skill as a shovel. Ha.” The girl’s blood-soaked grin almost seem wholesome and childish. When she noticed all of the various gnomes looking down at her, she straightened herself and looked at the commanding gnome. “Light-based Battlemage Zelial reporting, all targets accounted for.”

“Why didn’t you wait for the wall?” He said, clearly frustrated.

“We didn’t need it.” She shrugged.

“They could have ran away.”

“But they didn’t.”

“Forget it, you’ve been requested by that elf enchanter, Val'caler. Good work, but get out of my campaign.”

Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
deleted868
Review

Hey there! I'd just like to say that I'm very impressed with how much you wrote, just wow. Let's see - the two different parts are really interesting, and I kind of like it that you have both parts one-by-ine, even if this seems extremely long. I like the comparison between "Night" and the dark mage, and "Day" and the light mage, but also how their powers were sort of aligned and similar as well - very bloody fighting, or invisibility. I also really enjoyed the two main characters as they were very distinct and you could picture them in your mind very easily.

A few nit picks I have are that although you capitalized "Fenri," you didn't capitalize "vermis," which I wondering if it was intentional or just a typo. In addition, some of your word choice I would recommend that you change, as within in the same sentence, you put "summoned" and "summoned" in the same sentences, something which kind of got me disappointed since most of your language in this is really good. The dialogue does need more work, as it is rather boring, but it's alright right now.

All in all, I liked this a lot. The plot was pretty interesting, the scenes were described well, and yeah it kept me sucked into it until I finished. This makes we want to know about the Val'caler guy so yeah seems pretty cool. I do wish it had ended on a different note like Casanova said below, but it's not the worse place to stop the story on. Really good job!

I plan to remake this into two chapters (I want to make the monsters more sympathetic, more 'human', this daunting text would become a nightmare to reviewers if I didn't split it in two for that), so thank you for your thoughts, I will try to remember them for the re-write.

The Vermis thing was a typo.

Thank you for your thoughts.

You're welcome! And that all sounds really neat!

User avatar
Casanova
Review

Heya, Zolen! Casanova here with a short review!

To start off I like the two different sections of night and day. I do think, however, that you could have made them into two separate chapters. The length of this was rather daunting to read, I'll admit, but I like it.
The next thing is plot. You keep it rather up and down. It has it's moments where it's climatic, suspenseful, and dramatic, then it has it's points to where it seems like I'm going to fall asleep during it. But I guess that's to be expected, so props for the parts that were suspenseful. Anyway, the ending didn't really seem dramatic in any sense, and it was in no way a page turner. I grew bored towards the ending of this. I would suggest messing around with your idea and seeing where you can take it, perhaps ending it earlier or adding on to it, if you get what I'm trying to say.
The next thing is characters and dialogue. Your characters are rather strong, in most ways. You keep then interesting, and I feel like you do give a lot about them. Their dialogue, however, I grew rather tiresome of. You mainly use the classic,"he said,""She yelled,""he asked," dialogue, and that grew boring after awhile. You're in no way inferring their emotions into it when you're doing that, so I would suggest giving us more than that.

Overall I think you have a decent plot with strong characters, but this should be tweaked at least a bit.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one. I hope it helped, even a bit.

Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron

I plan to remake this into two chapters (I want to make the monsters more sympathetic, more 'human', this daunting text would become a nightmare to reviewers if I didn't split it in two for that), so thank you for your thoughts, I will try to remember them for the re-write. (sorry for copy pasting this reply from the previous person I replied to, but I am not sure how else to phrase this thought.)

Additionally, any advice for how to best express emotion and point out who said what without being repetitive about it? I tried my best to avoid that, but it still ended up that way.



It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.
— Voltaire