Hey there.
Okay so, the first thing I noticed were the punctuation errors. Secondly, it was short but meaningful, good job on that. And again, I would've loved it if you would've extended it a bit, like add something more.
This kinda seemed like drone. Like, it just went on and bam! it's done. I couldn't connect so well, just make your readers connect a bit, maybe? Get them engrossed.
See what I mean?
Keep writing and stay blessed.
xoxo
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