Published May 13, 2011
I hide behind a fake smile
dying inside
hoping you'll see
and finally come save me
but still I'm alone
wating for the shadows to consume me
I hide behind a lie
letting it live for me
lettiing it tell everyon I'm perfectly fine
but still hoping you'll see I'm not
hoping you'll care enough to save me
and still I'm all alone
waiting for the shadows to consume me
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
I'm just going to go over the things I put in red really quickly; The first word I put in red, "Hoping," the H needs to be capitalized. The second thing I put in red, "Waiting," is because you missed the first I. As for "Letting," you made a typo, and there should only be one I. Typos happen, of course.
All together, wonderful job.
Hey,
Well I really loved this and despite some misspellings which I guess where from when you were typing this was really good. Some parts with the punctuation is highly opinionated I'm not good with poetry or grammar so....I'm not sure it they work or not. However I liked how this was and the descriptions are nice but I think you could extend this more. There are many things you could add to this I'm sure. It's fine as it is but it could be longer ^^. I hope this helps and may you get many helpful reviews. Buenas Suerte y Adios...
Soulkana<3