Foreword: Haven't posted in a while, I know
Busy with life. You know how it is.
Anyway, this little work was conceived by Yours Truly while sitting in his English class, listening to the students and the teacher go back and forth about some arbitrary topic. For the record:
first poem ever.
A Master NoviceSchool,
Second and Third languages, getting in my way.
School,
Where knowing does not mean
knowing, and knowledge is non-existent.
Where the inside does not match the outside.
The English teacher weeps.
My language skills are incomplete, though I know so many.
A thirty-four ACT English means nothing when compared to barely.
Any students, in my school, of whom speak like 5th graders.
Being inordinately superior to any of them makes one no Major Player.
One has to speak as well as he writes, if he is to be noticed.
And one has to write as well as a King, to expect any favor.
I want to write, I want to use, my skills to their fullest.
They call me “good,” they call me “Master,” but inside, I know better.
When compared to the barely, any students, of whom speak like 5th graders.
I am but a humble Master, always changing for the later.
One who speaks with no authority?
One who barely commands the ink?
I am a
nothing but… A Master
of the Novices.
A Novice.
A Nothing.
English skills deplorable.
I have a long way to go.
Give it a few years, just you wait!
The Novice will become
The Master.
It was supposed to be funny in a few ways, so yay
Disclaimers suck. =p Welcome to poetry, if you plan to keep on writing. Also, welcome back.
Sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh a little. Which is good and bad. What's good about it is that it made me want to keep reading. (more laughter). What's bad is that it's practically boring and plain. The way you describe it, which is why I laughed. Now, please don't take too much offense here.Okay, so to that first part.
What I liked about that was 3 or 4 lines. What made me laugh were the bottom 2 lines, "Where the inside doesn't match the outside." Couldn't you find a better way to say that, more "poetic" like, even? That is just a blunt thought. Those don't blow over so well in poetry, from my experiences.
Now, most of The second stanza area was boring, again you gave a lot of thoughts, over imagery and showing us how, other than telling us. =p
The Barely any students part, that doesn't sound too right to me, it just annoys me and distracts me greatly.
One thing I did like was the Master of Novices part. That's what I'd like to see more of, somewhat of a show/metaphor/simile/other thing that would better let me understand this. (not that it isn't clear, it is clear. Just very straightforward.)
Who is that directed to? You're missing pieces, eh?
Other than all that, you did alright.
Good luck, keep writing.
Silented1.