Published December 21, 2004
To every story,
There is a dark side of the light,
Seeping walls of secrets,
Unknown ends.
The notion in my head,
Spinning me round,
I believed if I walked out,
You would love me again.
But from every battle,
Stands a wounded lover,
The covers torn from their souls,
Bare and naked you laid with her.
Closure so far from the reality,
You heard me you ignored me,
Will this knife make you listen?
If I point this gun will it make sense?
There is no justice,
No beginning no end,
Just a bitter twisted end,
Full of your insane stories.
I’m just so sorry,
It had to be you that I loved,
Darkness my only true friend,
Insanity rules my heart now
------------------------------------------
Yet again just wrote it very bored and well hell its nothing special or done well at all
have fun reading!!! ![]()
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Pretty emotional
Great. Emotive. Well done.
I like this although it wouldn't be how I would start it. I love the line "dark side of the light" it works perfectly. The line seeping walls of secrets creates an image in my head, although it is abstract..
This confused me, I didn't think that it was really neccessary.
Loved this, it was amazingly powerful!
THE BEST STANZA!!!! I loved "will this knife make you listen" It got your point across and I just loved it!
I suggest changing the second line to no beginning, no end. It flows better.
Change the second line to "it had to be you that I loved." and the third line to "Darkness my only true friend"
I thought it was great but I thought the ending should have been more powerful! GREAT JOB!
Greatness. I did indeed read this more than once. Loved "Will this knife make you listen?/If I point this gun will it make sense?" Well done.
Thank you VERY much
no one really likes my stuff lol, and its really nice to hear a compliment thank you!!!
Merry christmas
muchous love wu
I love it. Very good and potent, just makes the reader want to read it 100 times. It actually grabbed me and made me want to read more. :thumb: