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Young Writers Society



Normal

by Wulie


They look into my eyes,
But they don’t understand why I lie,
The twisted sea swirling inside of me,
How I wished they understood me.

Been to so many therapists now,
They all say the same,
Locked in my room white padded walls surround me,
Mirrors for them to watch and laugh at me.

No peace, no silence
The voices in my head demanding me to kill,
Hands strapped tightly behind my back,
I Just want to be normal.

Why am I like this what’ve I done wrong?
Why do I see it all so clearly?
I’m not insane I just understand the truth,
Can’t they see they are insane?

I haven’t got long,
My names written off as a lost course,
No space for me in this world,
I’m not insane, I’m not…


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Sorry I post to many lyric poemey things - last one I promise!!! Would really appreiacte your thoughts on it.


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19 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 19

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Fri Jan 28, 2005 5:56 am
hawk wrote a review...



This was pretty good, but again, like I said on your [war] poem, it didn't flow very well. You need to concentrate on certian aspects, and don't try to fit so much into one stanza. But I did like the last line, and it was a good topic to be written in first person.




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1258 Reviews


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Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:22 am
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Sam wrote a review...



I completely LOVED this poem...all the things about 'I'm not insane, I just understand the truth...oh my god I loved that line. My only critique would be that you kind of blend some lines and sentences together, when you really shouldn't. It sounds kind of choppy when you read it...if you want me to pinpoint them I will but I think you could find them just by reading the poem over. :D this was awesome!




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145 Reviews


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Reviews: 145

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Wed Dec 22, 2004 6:48 pm
Skye says...



This is very cool. Haunting and original. I love it!




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324 Reviews


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Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:15 pm
-KayJuran- says...



Wulie wrote:My names written off as a lost course


ummm... think u mean cause, not course...




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1274 Reviews


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Reviews: 1274

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Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:08 pm
niteowl says...



This is good. I would say to change something but I see nothing to change. Very good.





I’ll paraphrase Thoreau here... Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness, give me truth.
— Christopher Johnson McCandless