This is both mine, WrittenInStone, and kimalane21's poem. It was composed for the Poetry Pairs Contest - and it's the best of our work. I believe.
The Last Petal
One rose is life,
A petal one day,
Each moment one falls
until only one remains
Ten dozen roses,
the beginning of it all
each rose slowly withers,
and you pray the petals won't fall.
Each day you spare a glance,
until only one remains
the last but a meaningless symbol
of the minutes left to change
Alone in the dark,
your head in your hands,
you hear you day's ending song,
Sung woefully by the lark
It's such a mournful sound,
and death creeps in with the shadows,
for your to life each petal was bound,
and as the last one slips away,
You realize now -
that life once held a meaning,
and that meaning is lost
like the petal that lay on the ground.
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139,524 Literary Works • 672,598 Reviews
This is a very profound poem! Dark, too! That's what I enjoy reading the most!
My favorite lines were these:
"It's such a mournful sound,
and death creeps in with the shadows,
for your to life each petal was bound,
and as the last one slips away,
You realize now -
that life once held a meaning,
and that meaning is lost
like the petal that lay on the ground."
Superb job, WrittenInStone
I love this! It's very deep and comparing life to a rose works very well for this. Keep writing!!
Well done, this was very nicely written with great imagery. The last stanza was my favorite. I'm not so great at the whole grammar thing so if there's any mistake, I'll leave that to others to find since I'm not too sure how much help I'd be. All in all, this was beautifully done. Very great job and good luck on future writes to both of you.
Hi! I LOVED this poem! so beautiful! It remined me of beauty and the beast with the rose petal ect. lol - you've brought the kid who loved disney back out in me lol..(Don't worry, at nearly fifteen, I've left the disney behind now!) Right, back to the poem. I would normally do a nitpick, but seriously, I found NOTHING...no mistakes, gramatical or structural, whatsoever! WELL DONE YOU TWO! so great. Stunning. A *like* from me! xxx AC
Hello,
I enjoyed your piece, it was well written, I liked your use of language, the flow was good, some stanzas didn't flow that well, but that's just me. I also like how you used a rose petal as a symbol, though I did not fully understand what the poem is about, I can get an idea. I absolutely love the last stanza, "You realize now - that life once held a meaning, and that meaning is lost like the petal that lay on the ground.". Overall great poem! Definitely going to read your poems from you both, and also as individuals.
-Roxi