My own mind

by WritersUnleashed

Published October 5, 2013

E - Everyone

In Poetry

PreviousNext

When I’m lost

In my own mind

Who do I pray to

When you are the one

Making me lost

In my own mind.

Who do I pray to?

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
OceanGirl
Review
OceanGirl wrote a review Review · Oct 6, 2013

Heyy Writersunleashed!
Sapphire to the review!
I liked you're poem, you have clearly explained about you're thoughts which has made the poem strong and it was nice to read.

The only thing is its small yeah extremely small you could have exaggerated you're thoughts a bit so that it would have been much better and also interesting.

Anyway its a good poem and of course and good way to express powerful thoughts through poems.

Good luck!
Hoping to see more good and long poems further!
Have a nice day! :)

FuturAuthor,
SapphireFlames

User avatar
DreamWork
Review
DreamWork wrote a review Review · Oct 5, 2013

Hi WritersUnleashed,DK here with review.

Your poem is kinda short but you filled it with your own thoughts.That is what makes it powerful and strong.Just a few things here is that I think you need to provide a short description on 'lost in my own mind'.Try for something more concrete sentences here to explain how might it happen.

What I like about your poem is the truth behind this 'reality'.Sure I feel that way every time I lost in my own mind,thinking of what actually God plan for me.You can expand this poem to become something more powerful and 'psycho' ;)
Keep it up!
kudos,cheers.

Thank you! I'm a bit torn on expanding, only because the short, bluntness was part of the effect I was trying to put off, but if thats not working, I might be able to work in a little expansion.

User avatar
MooCowPoop
Review
MooCowPoop wrote a review Review · Oct 5, 2013

This is very short, but I like it!

Meh, me, again being a hypocrite. Anyway, um, I really like this poem. This makes think of when I was questioning what religion to follow and believe when I was at that age of questioning myself about those things. Is it right to follow these things, or is it right to just let whatever happens, happen? That's the grandness of human curiosity I guess, to just question and question but never have an answer and your poem made me think about that. I love how short and sweet and it is, and that's all I can say for now. :)

That's exactly what my message was :D. Thank you!

You're welcome! :D



Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.
— Rumi