Published March 28, 2011
Very short free-verse. Strange because I usually rhyme and write much longer...but I like it:
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139,506 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
Very simple and good! It really tells the reader how it feels like to be in it. Don't worry, you're not alone, I've been there done THAT! Gratefully, I'm sort of out of my depression, not quite fully healed though. God has helped me SO much.
But, anyway, enough of that, I loved your poem, and keep writing. I can tell that this poem just came to you on the spot, in your mind, and you had to write it down, which is great. If anything like that happens again, make sure to jot it down!
Great peom, it was short and sweet
My only suggestion is that in the 3rd line, you get rid of the word "together". I think that it flows better without it, and you don't need it to still get your point across. Other than that I really enjoyed it.
Heyyyy dogs here. In my opinion i was always a fan of short poetry, although most people i meet don't like it that much so its always nice to see some one who likes the shorter poems as well. Personally i think short poetry is harder to write because you have to put your point threw in little writing and it needs to sound nice.
Ok here is really my only critique on this piece. I feel like when you say this it dosn't have much purpose to the poem in that it dosnt support the rest of the piece. I mean yes it is linked to the over arching theme but it dosnt directly create a strong image and dosn't directly connect to "My tears burn". but apart from that small detail this poem is awsome! although short i really like it. Keep up the great work!TuckEr EllsworTh