Published January 11, 2010
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141,627 Literary Works • 675,278 Reviews
I think that you have posted this one too prematurely. there was no conflict yet and i was thinking "so what then?" although your introduction of the characters are commendable, i could not see any build up just yet. i sincerely wish that you would post the rest as this, i think is an interesting story indeed.
Well write, I liked it. I didn't see any problems with it and I can't wait for the rest to come out.
Hello, I thought I'd look at your post because you looked at myn so here goes...
Well I like the idea, you can tell that you really like your characters particularly James. Considering of course that English is your 3rd language I thought you did very well with the description. A few bits took a little bit of working out but thats only because english isn't your first language.
I would like to read on to see what will happen to these two characters in their new high schools.
PM me when you write more.
Thanks for an enjoyable short read. If you want me to pick it apart and correct your English and some of your grammer then just ask.
Overall I thought it was very good,
Keep Writing,
Lydia