Forty Degrees Celsium - Chapter 2 2/2

~Gone in the past~

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review · Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:30 pm

Okay this is interesting. I'm never usually the first person to review. I liked this chapter and finally I get to understand the connection between Kate and Jeffery. We also get to know what they are meant to be doing : serving the king. I just have one little nitpick:

Shinda wrote:His aura is so overwhelming and his confidence behind every word is so suppressive, that she doesn’t feel any strength to object, not to mention that his wild look renders one helpless.
- Here you spelled aura wrong. It's aurora.

I've gotten to know the characters better and now I am interested to know why the city is under attack. Is there a war going on? You've set a bit of background information in, but there is still a lot more to find out.

Full speed towards next chapter!

Deanie x



A person is more than their experiences, stacked up like stones... Our best moments are the foundations we use to reach for the sky.
— Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson