Today, again, I asked myself,
"How long will we stay?"
I removed our memories from the shelf
And threw them all away.
Another week went by,
But I only saw Monday and Sunday.
When we meet, I hear a sigh.
"Let's go back to the runway."
That time, you dove and took my hand.
"Everything will be okay."
This time, I'm afraid to reach land.
"I'm sorry." and I run away.
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Hey Dogs here to review!
I didn't see any errors, and that is really good, because we can go straight into on what I liked about your poem, and some questions I have as well.
I will start with the question.
Is this poem about a friendship or even a relationship going away? I understood what it was about, but I would like to know who it was about. A friendship, relationship, etc. You can get back to me anytime!
What I liked about your poem!
1) Rhyme Scheme: I am very found of poems that rhyme, I haven't been the best rhymer, and I like it when people are so good at it, such as you!
2) The emotion: You added so much emotion and detail into this poem, I was so amazed!
3) The title: The title is what caught me in, I was scanning through the poem section, are your particular title caught my eye. I was very interested, in what this poem could be about, so I was like.. "I should give it a try."
Overall, I really loved your poem, and I hope to see more of your work sometime!
Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs
Hi! @Kayley01 here for review!
When I was scrolling down through the poetry section I was looking for one that rhymed. Your poem satisfied me.
What really caught my eye was the title of your poem. I wasn't expecting to see such a long title yet its all one word!
I'm not sure what the idea of your poem is meant to be. Is it about your relationship or friendship or someone leaving your life or you leaving theirs? It was just a small bit hard toi follow from my opinion.
Overall, I like the gist of the poem. I think its a good poem and you should keep writing. Good luck and have a nice day!
@Kayley01
This is a lovely poem. It has a melancholic feel to it, but is very beautiful in that.
I like how it doesn't reveal everything, but still enough to get a feeling for the situation, while one can still interpret it to fit maybe a situation close to an experience or something.
The lines
"I removed our memories from the shelf"
"And threw them all away"
They capture the whole feeling of this piece and are truly beautiful in their wording and imagery.
I really liked this poem.
Keep it up!