Hello Willow, here again for another review. So far, this was going in the right direction, save for a cliché in the last chapter and a bit of blandness here and there. Other than that, though, I am liking this. Of course, it's too late to change what this has already become, not that it's bad, but you can't really go back and fix the grammar problems since you're not active anymore. Which means there's not a chance you would see this. But I'll do this review anyways!
Without further ado, I'll get started.
Village children have normal school until the age of ten. From then on they have Pre-Association, which would include Prophecies and Potions, Basic Barding and Linguistics.
^This is why I'm confused as to the reason this is listed as general fiction. In the prologue, the genre seemed to be horror. Now I see this, which marks it as fantasy. So maybe you listed it as general because it has many genres? But then there's the option to change the genre with every chapter, so I'm still confused. And why is general listed twice here...?!?
Association was the high point of a villager’s day. Even older villagers had association at their different points.
Once fourteen you’re tested to see which four Associations you should belong to.
Inconsistency:
^So at first, it looks like you capitalized 'Association' because it was the first word of the sentence, and the second time you mention 'Association' without a capital letter further proves that. But then the second time you mention 'Association,' it's capitalized. So I'm guessing an 'Association' is a power and that it needs to be capitalized.
Guilt settled in the pit of my stomach>,< it had been my fault we were late.
^Should have been a semicolon or a period.
“What’re we supposed to do then?” I called after him, barely able to conceal my indignation.
“Amuse me,” he said with a trace of a smile playing around his lips.
...
^I'm not sure what this means for them. This holds a ton of suspense, but I don't know what.
Anyways, that's all I have to say.
With caution,
WaterSpout
Points: 10511
Reviews: 83
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