Trap!

Hey, Strange! Lupa here for a review! Let's jump in...

1) In the first stanza, the lines "Once you go in" is a bit vague to me. I think you mean go into the trap, but it confuses me. I think you can add in an extra word or two to clarify.

2) The second stanza's rhyme sounds forced. "Way" and "away" is a perfectly valid rhyme, but the last line of the stanza is worded a bit weirdly. How about, "You can't make him go away" or something like that. Sorry about the horrible suggestion, but you get what I mean!

3) The second and third stanzas both start with: "He is ____." I suggest you come up with something less generic and more descriptive to start your stanzas.

4) You don't need a comma after "trust" in the fourth stanza, just so you know.

Overall, your poem was humorous and made me laugh because of the last line, especially because the rest of your poem made it sound so serious. To me, though, I found it interesting that you were persuading your reader not to trust someone who persuades people for a living. (Sorry if that was confusing!) The irony made me laugh even harder, so kudos to you. Nice job on this poem and keep writing!

XOX,
Lupa22

Hey, Viv here.

I don't actually get this poem, but it's pretty funny. Especially with the last line. I thought you were talking about a best friend, or an ex, or something. It surprised me. But if he's so smart, why's he a used car salesman?

Good poem. I don't get the irony.

Hello Strange,

Thank you for reviewing my Review Day Rhapsody before! I appreciate any comments and reviews. So I shall return the favor with a review of you poem during this fabulous review day.
I have a couple of suggestions and comments to make for you.

I see that you tried rhyming in this poem. I would first like to suggest that you keep it even and try not to lapse in and out of rhyming. Coming up with a poem that rhymes isn't always an easy task. Read it aloud. The meter of the poem is the natural rhythm of the accented and unaccented syllables. Though many poems – especially modern ones – use irregular meter, rhyming poems tend to be more meter-conscious, especially because meter can affect rhyme. I think that rhyming poems are much harder because the poet sometimes focuses to hard on making it rhyme than they are writing it for the meaning and fluency.

'Read between the lines,
To outsmart him.
Never trust,
A used car salesman."

I don't really see how the last bit of information, "Never trust, a used car salesman." is really necessary. I would suggest taking that part out of it. Just an idea...

Other than that, I think that you are good to go!

~ Magenta

Admral Ackbar!

Haha, the last line made me laugh (which was probably your intention) Wow, what a perfect way of putting it. They kind of scare me, honestly. But you know they usually have to sell at least one car each day to get their full salary?

Anyway, the only issue I found with this poem was that it was choppy in some areas. I'll just requote it with my suggestions in it.

It's a trap,
You can't escape.
Once you enter,
He decides your fate.

He is evil,
He forces his way.
He holds on,
You can't get him away.

He is smart,
Knows every kink.
He jams your mind,
Never letting you think.

Read between the lines
To outsmart him.
Never trust a
used car salesman.

Hi there! Happy Review Day! Now I haven't really written a lot of reviews here, hence I don't think I will be exactly helpful with my review here. Yet I will try my best.

The title “Trap” does not give out a lot of insight on the poem; which works out fairly in your favor as the last line here is a “humorously shocking” gem. There is a rhyming pattern in the first three stanzas which discontinues in the last stanza. I think this serves an intentional significance here- it imparts that extra-emphasis to the last line. You know what they say about satire “first make them laugh then make them think”, your piece here does exactly that. I mean besides being funny your poem also shares a message, kind of an awareness. Satire, by the very nature of its genre, is always prone to controversies and seen as something rather offending. But this piece here has managed to keep out any vices or abuses. So I expect that it shall be gladly received by the readers. Needless to say, there aren't any SPaG mistakes that I can spot.
Congratulations on writing a commendable piece of Satire. Keep Writing. Take Care.

Nice twist at the end, I say. it could have been describing many things, but a used car salesman. It is a amazing poem that is well written. I didn't notice any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes either. This is truly amazing.

My favorite stanza is:

He is smart,
Knows every kink.
He jams your mind,
Making you unable to think.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! I'M DYING RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Okay, so you read the first three stanzas and are expecting the poem to be about some monster! But you get to the last line and.....*bursts out laughing* Can't stop laughing!! Alright, so pros and cons!

Pros:
1. That was very...unexpected....very unexpected. I loved how you tricked us into thinking the exact opposite of what it really was! That was really cool!!
2. The rhyming was good for the most part.
3. Spelling and grammar worked well.

Cons:
1. In the last stanza, I had to read the last line a few times to get the rhyming, but other than that, I find no fault! Congrats!!

This was outstanding, and I love it sooooooo much! Keep on writing Dr. Strange (lol)
-Sis

This poem had me laughing out loud! Initially, I would've thought this was something to do with the famous [i]Star Wars VI[i] quote, but boy was I wrong! I completely didn't expect the "big reveal" of the last line!

I must say, your diction (if that's the right term) in this poem seems almost perfect to me. I just noticed one thing: I'm not an expert in poetry, so I don't really know how lines are supposed to be divided up in a traditional poem, but in your final lines,

Never trust,
A used car salesman.