Soothing, moving, none of the less.
Why is it that we're in this mess?
Is it our faults that our emotions are fake?
Or did they all suffer its fate?
Sing me a melody to relieve it all.
Let all the high hopes fall.
Take me out of this world to steal this pain.
Our memories together are turning faint.
Is it all because of this four letter word?
Don't correct me for being absurd.
One thing we can't be until the end.
We can't be friends.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hello! KatyaElefant here to review! Happy almost over Review Day! Guess who is winning or may I say, who won? Let us see what this piece will give us...
The imagery is great. I can imagine everything in here. I had to look up Sinatra, so that I could understand this better. Your grammar is great. Your spelling is awesome. The questions you give are just marvelous. Great job on that! It was fun to read! Your rhyming is great! I mean you did good. I might not find this dramatic though. I find this more of a romantic piece. I would also like to have the four letter word cleared up please. Overall, you did a great job! I hope you are having a great review day! Nevertheless,Keep calm and keep writing! 
You could be more organized. You could make the poem into several stanzas. This could help the reader enjoy the piece more. If you have a question on organization, just ask me. You could have a topic for each stanza, like singing for one. Then a stanza for not being friends, the next. I also think that you could expand on the not being friends part. I like how you made it short but it would be cool if you could put more imagery into that part.
I love how you made the part with you couldn't be just friends. I just love that! You had to be something more...
Hi, J.C. here for a review!
This poem was interesting. I didn't find it all that dramatic, simply because you're far better at writing satire and comedy than this sort of thing. But you do have on great thing going for you here, you're really good at rhyming and keeping a beat going. This helps to elevate an otherwise meaningless work to a level that is somewhat understandable, and perhaps fun to read.
I'm not sure how to answer the last question, as I don't know what this four letter word is. Love? Hate? Cake? You just told me it is love, so I was right the first time. Inserting that into the poem, the meaning of it becomes very vivid, and just a tad bit dark.
Suffer the fate of love? I thought love was supposed to be a happy, go lucky sort of thing. Lots of hugging and kissing and calling each other funny names. Actually, I've never thought of it like that because I've witnessed what happens when people "fall in love." They usually just fall right back out again.
Classic country love song here. Not bad, but not amazing. I don't have any nitpicks about it, though, because the surrounding lines aren't just crap.
Everybody hates that word. "We can still be friends."
To that, I have to answer, yes, and no. Yes, because people "believe" they are in love, and then cause problems when they "believe" they don't love each other anymore. And no, because love is the only thing that can counterattack hate. But then again, hate is a by product of love, so, yes. It's all because people don't know the truth about love, or rather, are unwilling to accept the truth.
I was actually quite surprised with this poem. It holds a lot of meaning, and was well written.
Thank you Strange!
#TheFaultInOurReviews
Timmy here for a review on Review Day!
So this was a great poem! To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure what I was clicking on when I first went to read it. I think the title might confuse some of us! So maybe a title next time that more obviously fits the piece. No doubt it does fit it and I am just ignorant, though!
I love how you tell about false friends. No doubt everybody has several! I know I probably have many of them myself. Sooner of later, everyone finds out that some of their friends just weren't true friends, and were only in it for some little thing like popularity or somesuch...
I have a few nitpicks, so I will hit them now!
First off, your poem had a wonderful, wonderful flow to it. Your style is simple, which I really like! And everything just rolled off the tongue so beautifully, and the next line just continued off where the first one started off at!
Saying that, I do have two spots where it didn't flow so well for me.
Quite honestly, that is all I have. I know they are so small and petty, but I had to tell them to you! This was an awesome short poem, Strange! You know what they say! Short and Sweet. Nice job.
~Timmyjake
I love this. Plain and simple. This is wonderous and I do enjoy the lines such as "Sing me a melody to relieve it all" and "Is it out faults that our emotions are fake?". I am finding that I am increasinly loving all of your poetry and do hope that you'll continue to write more. I love how dark and reflective your poetry can be; not very many people can execute it well, but I believe that you can.
Hey there Strange!
First off, I don't usually review romance poems but I was surprised at how meaningful this was! I especially loved:
Amazing!
I also love the meaning on the last line; this poem definitely has a meaning.
I did find at some places the rhythm was a little messed up especially:
"Lake" also felt like it was just an attempt to make it rhyme, maybe another word?
Beside that this poem was very good!
See ya around!
Heggo again. XD
This is a simple poem with a great structure and rhyme scheme.
'Sing me a melody to relieve it all
Let all the high hopes fall.'
Very easy to read and I enjoyed doing so.
Criticism........
Sing me a melody to relieve it all
Take me out of this world to steal this pain
These two lines lack punctuation and they are feeling left out. They do not understand why they haven't been granted the privilege????!!!
And they absolutely demand compensation.
Hee hee
Another good work.
Well done.
~BSF
awwwwwwwww Strange, I'm starting to love you more and more, this is just awesome! Except......I can't really jiggle off the feeling of forced rhyme in some lines. The rest flows effortlessly nonetheless and i love it!