Published October 7, 2013
On a Saturday night.
Nothing to do,
I have no life.
I approach my DVD player,
Insert Star Wars: Episode IV.
I watch Luke Skywalker complain,
For two hours more.
Now it's 10 at night,
Time to go on Facebook.
See friend's statuses
About why they hate how they look.
Two hours later,
I look at the news.
A 13 year old is pregnant,
By her "boo-boo".
Look at some sites,
Created by the stupid part of society.
Go on an illegal movie site,
And download Gravity.
It's now 6 in the morning,
And my mom is nagging.
I'm not listening to her,
As my GTA V is lagging.
It's time to sleep,
As the day is at it's brightest light.
This is how I, a loner,
Spend my Saturday nights.
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139,137 Literary Works • 672,414 Reviews
I think this work is quite good. It totally describes how teenagers spend their nights during holiday. The topic was definitely going to make a big boom around teens.
I can see your attempt to make use of poetic devices, e.g. rhymes. It may not be as good as other poems written by professional poets, but honestly, I am not anywhere as good as you, and I admire your efforts.
Thank you for this wonderful work!
Hi, J.C. here for a review!
Aww, I love Star Wars. Actullay, I really don't. Yah, they're classic, but there are so many problems with them it's not even funny. And Luke complains a lot. When I find myself watching the movie, that's when I'm forced to stop and rethink my life.
So true, so true. It makes me laugh every time I think about it. People keep telling me I should get a Facebook, a Twitter, a whatever. They say that's how I get to become friends with them, how I know what's going on in their lives. "Dude, you have no life, so why would I want to know what's going on with it?"
This is actually kind of sad and depressing. Not only is this all that is really on the news, but it's a result of all sorts of other problems that I won't talk about here because I don't want to turn this into a political smack down on society.
Though I've never played GTA, I have spent half the night on a stupid game. The unfortunate part is church is on Sunday, so I've never had the luxury of sleeping in to recover after the episode
Just like your other poems, this isn't anything spectacular. Which is to say, you know me, and while I love humor and satire, I rate them far differently than I would a more realistic, dramatic piece. But this one still holds value, and made me laugh several times.
Thank you Strange!
#TheFaultInOurReviews
Insert Star Wars: Episode IV.
I watch Luke Skywalker complain,
For two hours more. <---actually 100% accurate. Love it!
A slight contrast to my own Saturday nights, I don't have a GTA to lag! *peers over half-rimmed spectacles* "what is this Face book?"
However the poem itself is rather good! *patronizing voice*
The single clever poetic device I noticed, although there could be many more, was the almost monotonastic feeling, enduced mainly due to the almost dreary adherence to the syllables pattern and general rhythm. *wipe sweat beads of brow after strenuous sentence*
May the hair on your toes never fall out,
Take That You Fiend!
I don't know wither you put a lot of thought into this or you just listed what you did on a Saturday night. Either way it was very effective. For me this will hold a very special place within my heart.
This had me laughing far more than I feel I should have.
All in all I can't really say very much of this poem that hasn't already been said. Many people with be able to relate to it and it was very humorous. Great job, keep it up!
Are you are mind reader? A seer? Or someone who stalks me?
Because this is how I spend my Saturday nights, except instead of Star Wars I watch Lilo and Stitch. And instead of video games, I go on other sites like YWS or something. XD
I love this, by the way. Great job! I think everything is great, great, great, great...
And I have spent over 68.7849 seconds writing this review to tell you that I love this and this is great, great, great, great, great....
Bye now :3
~ Wonder <3
Hi DrStrangelove,DK here with review on your poem.
So first of all,what I like about your poem is, the ideas that originality comes from yourself.your writing style is certainly appropriate to the purposes intended to convey to the reader. It's like a reality. Just the diction is quite stiff and common, how I expect something unique from your poem.
You also need to improve the punctuation.Some part actually do not require punctuation;
Maybe this is acceptable because this poem tells life of a teenager who mostly do not have a goal in life. So life is something different from their point of view, compared with adults.
Anyway,I totally like the sense of humor you put here;
Very cynical here,plus with lesson actually!
Now,this is the part which you use an excessive punctuation;
Overall,I enjoyed reading your poem.Keep it up!
Kudos,cheers