A/N: ScarlettFire, AdrianMoon, and I decided to write a sp00ky halloween story with as much cliches and tropes as we could fit. However, we had to do a certain length each, so if the pacing makes you mad, then too bad. Blame it on deadlines/restrictions. We all can relate. Anyways, hopefully you can appreciate it as much as we do! Enjoy!
"How was that?" he asks.
"Okay, I guess. I've had better," Jess answers him. She slaps his knee, grunts, gets off the couch, and heads to the kitchen. Her family has spent one day so far in this house, and she has already greeted her neighbors with the sound of a reckless one night stand. Of course, this was with the boy at the park who showed off his scooter skills to her. Jess looks at her reflection in the microwave, a young pale face staring straight back at her. Suddenly, a high pitched shriek comes from the living room. She dashes back to the couch to see a bloodstained couch, Scooter Boy missing.
Jess sighs and shakes her head. A one night stand on Halloween was the Worst Idea Ever. She should've known Scooter Boy would be a jerk about it. She glares at the couch for a minute and then turns away.
"Very funny!" she yells. "You can come out now!" Scooter Boy does not reply, and she frowns. What was he up to now? Jess peers around the room, still frowning. His jacket is still on the arm of the couch, and there's still blood all over her mother's favourite seat cushion. She's about to go looking for him when something brushes up against her leg. Jess jumps and looks down, only to find her stupid cat. "Geez, you scared me."
The cat only meows in response. She absent mindedly scratches its ears. "Fuzzums, don't scare me like that, 'kay? Not when I'm staring at this fake blood." Oh please, Scooter Boy is such a theatre kid. How did he even get it to smell so bad too? Jess shakes her head and laughs. This is why she stuck to music. No fake, creepy, ultra realistic looking blood there. Just sweet, sweet music.
Jess frowns at the fake blood and wonders how she'll ever get it off her mom's favourite seat cushion. "God, she's going to kill me, isn't she?" She paces around it and then finds a pamphlet on the floor. (It had a few drops of blood on it, but she could still read the title.) The circus was in town, apparently.
Jess picks up Fuzzums, purring like crazy, and dashes out of the house. She makes it halfway down the street when a noise appears in the background, mimicking the Doppler effect. She turns around, but can't find the source of the noise. Fuzzums starts scratching her arm as she walks away. The noise becomes louder and louder as Jess nears the address of the circus. Suddenly Fuzzums drops.
"What the hell?" she asks in shock. Jess turns around to see something frightening, Tonka trucks from the front yards of the fellow neighbors coming to life. They all carelessly dip off the gutter and onto the street. Their lights flash crazily, all wanting the blood of Jess. She runs, completely forgetting Fuzzums in the background and wanting to save her life.
Jess sprints off down the street and around the corner. Something closes in on her ankle, and with a solid yank, jerks her off her feet. She swears, twisting to see what had grabbed her but there's nothing there. With another muttered curse, Jess gets back up and risks a glance back.
There's nothing but empty street. "The hell," she mutters in utter confusion.
Suddenly, she hears circus music playing in the background. Twisted, almost. The repetition and the overall clash of the tones reminds her of spinning tops. "Seriously, what the actual hell?" She slowly turns around to see a trail of blood leading up to the red and yellow tent.
She walks up to the tent, trying to not touch the trail. (It's eerily similar to Scooter Boy's totally fake blood.) The music gets louder once she reaches the entrance. More and more off-putting with each clash of the cymbals. Then, as she pulls away the tent flap, Scooter Boy's body jumps out at her. All covered in clown makeup and gore.
Jess screams, then laughs. "Once a theatre kid, always a theatre kid."
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hey! I basically only read this because the title grabbed my attention, so good job on that! I read the description after reading the story, which definitely cleared up a lot of my confusion. I was going to suggest adding more details in between scene changes, but obviously that wouldn't be possible with your limitations. The story itself is still really good! I would suggest changing the name of that cat because its humor takes away from the horror theme.
I would suggest changing this to another surprised saying because you had already used and the repetition doesn't flow very well. Besides that, the story is great! I like the plot line and the plot twists. You really made me scared even though I figured it was a prank!HAHAHAHAHA get out.
I'm kidding strange. Good work even though the clown cliches are worse than cocaine
Hey, Stranger, Adri and Fire!
Well, Halloween is not really a part of our culture. So, I don't really have much idea about it. But I do know that it's a funny-scary time of the year.
The title of the story reminded me of my user name. But the title seems better than my name.
I enjoyed the story. But I actually expected more "spooookiness"....but the work is indeed a great one. Well job, you three! ( well, I kinda mix "well done" and "good job" together)
However, I thought that it wasn't really necessary to write the two lines "It had a........read the title" and "It's eerily ..... fake blood" inside first brackets. And I think it should be "...what grabbed her.." instead of "....what had grabbed her...". Also, I would like a little explanation to why Jess goes out after seeing the pamphlet. I mean, I would like some lines saying about her interest or curiosity.
This is all I would say. I hope that you guys have a much spooookier halloween!
Thank god, I don't have to be fooled by tricks!