z

Young Writers Society


12+ Language Mature Content

Fashion Of The Christ: An Educational Poem of Coming Of Age, Immaturity, and Life

by Willard


Sometimes, there is a lie,

That most of us cross.

Once we cross that lie,

We find ourselves lost.

We're all mentally different,

Religious or dark;

But, everyone knows,

When you've gone too far.

We are somewhat similar,

Shape and size.

Saying we're not different mental wise,

That's a gigantic lie.

I may be young,

But wise I am.

I have extremely dark sense of humor,

Who can laugh when someone executes a lamb.

I yell diving scores during Titanic,

Say some war jokes.

Laugh at a human being,

When they choke.

Though dark,

I know what's right and wrong.

This will help,

For my future, which will be long.

It's okay to act like this,

If your son says this, don't hit him.

You're a dang parent,

Not Joe Jackson.

As for you kid,

Reading this poem;

Use this in the outer world,

Not at school nor home.

If you're not a kid,

I have a quick question.

Now, I'm not your teacher,

And this isn't a lesson.

All I want to know,

Is your opinion.

What's your type of humor

That makes you fit in.

"What's Tommy Pickles favorite movie?

Rugrats gone Wild!"

or

"Sometimes I fell like a plastic bag,

Slowly suffocating a child."

Answer that,

Before you go.

This is clearly my opinion,

But the more you know.

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433 Reviews

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Reviews: 433

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Sun Jan 26, 2014 6:25 pm
TakeThatYouFiend wrote a review...



O.k. this is not at all humourous, and not what I expected after the other reviews I wrote for you. (By the why I have been review-bombing you;- thought you aught to know)
I don't know whether this is personal experience or not, yet I hope for the latter. I do not see how such evilness could even count as humour.
Go red team!
A word on the rhyme structure: This is almost perfect, although "Joe Jackson does seem a litte like a forced rhyme. Other than that single instance I see no sign of forced rhyme (that rhymes! Ahehehehe) or any rhyme that is not absolutely fine!
The only other criticism I can possibly give is that I don't quite understand the last line, However this is most likely due to my personal lack of intelligence. *bows about personal modesty*
Go red team!
May energy shine on you from a million suns,
Take That You Fiend!
Go red team!




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17 Reviews

Points: 240
Reviews: 17

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Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:48 pm
EllaBliss says...



I like it.




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6 Reviews

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Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:55 am
Misfitpoet1 wrote a review...



I love this poem. I really like how your not afraid to say what you really think. I wish their were more people like that. And i can relate with the dark humor thing, too. I also like how you embrace and say its not a bad thing, cause its really not. It just shows how largely people very. But yeah, i love your poem :).




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37 Reviews

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Thu Nov 21, 2013 3:26 am
fruit4you wrote a review...



It is a good poem. It tells me how you feel, which makes, to me, a good poem. It is dark. It is very dark, but we all have our own sense of humor. Some people have a darker sense of humor and others have a more innocent sense of humor.
Anyway I really did like it. It intrigued me. I like poetry that focuses on the fact of life and real things.


So just keep on writing!!!! :) And have fun with it!!!





"My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together."
— Bishop Desmond Tutu