That most of us cross.
Once we cross that lie,
We find ourselves lost.
We're all mentally different,
Religious or dark;
But, everyone knows,
When you've gone too far.
We are somewhat similar,
Shape and size.
Saying we're not different mental wise,
That's a gigantic lie.
I may be young,
But wise I am.
I have extremely dark sense of humor,
Who can laugh when someone executes a lamb.
I yell diving scores during Titanic,
Say some war jokes.
Laugh at a human being,
When they choke.
Though dark,
I know what's right and wrong.
This will help,
For my future, which will be long.
It's okay to act like this,
If your son says this, don't hit him.
You're a dang parent,
Not Joe Jackson.
As for you kid,
Reading this poem;
Use this in the outer world,
Not at school nor home.
If you're not a kid,
I have a quick question.
Now, I'm not your teacher,
And this isn't a lesson.
All I want to know,
Is your opinion.
What's your type of humor
That makes you fit in.
"What's Tommy Pickles favorite movie?
Rugrats gone Wild!"
or
"Sometimes I fell like a plastic bag,
Slowly suffocating a child."
Answer that,
Before you go.
This is clearly my opinion,
But the more you know.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
O.k. this is not at all humourous, and not what I expected after the other reviews I wrote for you. (By the why I have been review-bombing you;- thought you aught to know)
I don't know whether this is personal experience or not, yet I hope for the latter. I do not see how such evilness could even count as humour.
Go red team!
A word on the rhyme structure: This is almost perfect, although "Joe Jackson does seem a litte like a forced rhyme. Other than that single instance I see no sign of forced rhyme (that rhymes! Ahehehehe) or any rhyme that is not absolutely fine!
The only other criticism I can possibly give is that I don't quite understand the last line, However this is most likely due to my personal lack of intelligence. *bows about personal modesty*
Go red team!
May energy shine on you from a million suns,
Take That You Fiend!
Go red team!
I like it.
I love this poem. I really like how your not afraid to say what you really think. I wish their were more people like that. And i can relate with the dark humor thing, too. I also like how you embrace and say its not a bad thing, cause its really not. It just shows how largely people very. But yeah, i love your poem
.
It is a good poem. It tells me how you feel, which makes, to me, a good poem. It is dark. It is very dark, but we all have our own sense of humor. Some people have a darker sense of humor and others have a more innocent sense of humor.
And have fun with it!!!
Anyway I really did like it. It intrigued me. I like poetry that focuses on the fact of life and real things.
So just keep on writing!!!!