Hysteria Horrifico

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: So this was a very intriguing piece. It went in some directions one doesn't often expect most pieces to go and I think it did a very good with these places that it went towards. It created a lot of really interesting images and it leaves you with much to be thinking about.

Anyway let's get right to it,

It was in a place not so much darker than the place prior to. This of which I speak was by some to be terrible, to others it was immoral, but to most, it was unheard of, but to me, it was a place of absolute tranquility. In the first few seconds it was more, or less like a crawl space in the back of my mind It soon became more like a phantom, or fog. Then to a curtain of darkness, as though it was held over my face. This it then became a place, what place? Hysteria Horrifico.

Well this is quite the start. There's a very intriguing vibe being created right away at any rate and I really like the vibes that it manages to create as a result. I think it lends itself very well to this here opening and we end up very much invested in what's to come.

Now, I was in a place I wanted to be, where the crows grow, where the trees get their knees, known by one and none. This was indeed the kind of place where men of all sorts would fall into a coma of bliss, adoration, and ecstasy, to a point of complete solidification in the quickly drying cement that was isolation.

It was a tastefully queer place, though humble. Much like a true crawl space really. With corners, and walls of every decadently, desirable, deviation. This crawl space, if you will, worked a lot like a parade. A parade in the sense of what I knew to be a parade, with patterns, and movement, and plans, all packed into some being in order to be forgotten later. Although this parade was not the variation of what I knew, but without single movement forgotten, flawless in all. The Robes in their robing, the crows in their growing crowing, the trees and their knees. Every notion I enjoyed multiplied its degree, by adding a new and more beautiful part each time. As if I had my own personal orchestra, waiting to strike up whatever single, silvery joy I had into a symphony fit for the divine.

Oooh I really love the way you describe this place here. I think you do a wonderful job as far as really bringing to life this rather intriguing place goes and as readers we're very quickly transported to this place and we can really feel exactly what it is that we're actually going ahead and getting at here.

I soon realized that these enactments, were a display delivered directly from the harsh world I had been trying to escape, despite the multitudes of soul singing wonder provided by the dear Horrifico. Through time…or out of time, these “soul singings” became more of sips, and the soul quality had been replaced with that of a somber one. I refused to sit by and watch this wonder stoop to the level of my past oppressor(which by the way, was the first bit of anything I had done presently besides watching “the lights” and all).

I knew in my heart of hearts that this figment, this wonderful place of blessed humble wonders could by far outmatch the now drab land that I once presided in. I knew this place of infinitely rolling terrors, could be brought down, and built up to surpass any other. If my simple comments on the parade that already was could create such a magnitude, than an original idea could be almost unimaginable.

OOoh we're taking what feels like its almost a slightly philosophical look at this whole situation here. There's something about quite how deeply this is diving into this place and the actions that seem to take place within it that really resonates quite powerfully with you as a reader and I am loving the effect it creates.

I would first need a basis, a canvas to create on. Something that would guide the way, like candlelight in a dark room. “And so it was”, boomed in my head, and seem to have hit a wall in the back of the crawl space, with a loud “thud“. A light then appeared, glorious, yet obviously suggestive. The “ball” I needed to start rolling in my head had started, and truly was a ball.

The nature of this world now was clear, a world of many orbs, contained within many other complexities. Of course I realized a world of floating spheres was not so impressive, much like an ornament gallery. What did it need to make it glorious, to make it glitter so? All seemed as though it was still, among this vast place, in the exact moment I decided I had no answer, a holy sound hit me as the answer was provided. These orbs which bounced in the beautiful space had returned the favor of me creating them, by them creating something for me. These celestial balls were to act as islands that contained ongoing structures of tangible land, which spanned across the sweet Horrific.

Hmm this is really taking off on these more philosophical ideas here. Its almost a bit too much though by this point because its starting to become so abstract that its difficult to really track now. Perhaps that's the intention though so I'm just pointing this out here.

“Mice in mazes”, trying to find something of value to them. Specimens to act upon these islands, set in motion by the shear need to survive. An infinite display of encaged, entranced creatures. To forever entertain the likes of others, and my creations. A truly enjoyable gallery of ornaments.

Well at any rate we have reached an intriguing ending. It does have a decent sense of finality about it, around as much finality as once can expect from a situation of this nature anyway. It does work well enough I think.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall quite an intriguing piece that one. I can safely say it was quite intriguing and it brought up some really interesting questions for us readers to wonder about and that's lovely.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate

This of which I speak was by some to be terrible, to some it was immoral, and to some, it was unheard of, but to me, it was a place of absolute tranquility.

Repeat alert! Try using others instead of some.

the first few seconds it was more, or less like a crawl space in the back of my mind/ It soon became more like a phantom, or fog.

This “it”[/b*] then became a place[b]. What** place?

*Try using italics instead of quotation marks.
**It's best not ending a statement with a question.

It was a tastefully, queer place, though humble.

You want to put a comma between two adverbs that describe the same noun.

Every notion I enjoyed multiplied it's degree, by adding a new and more beautiful part each time.

A common mistake. Even though the its is being possessive of the object it doesn't have an apostrophe unless it's: it is; it has; or anything similar.

Ok, what the hell is this thing about? Though I understand that will come later, being mysterious and all gets boring to the reader. I had to force myself to pay attention so I could read it properly.

If you continue this story on and it becomes more clear about what is happening send my a linkthrough YWS PM. If you need a review for anything or wants some advice, just ask.

Signed,
Lethero, The Alpha Male