Roses aren't all red,
Violets are never blue.
As I've grown to see
Those things were never true,
How could it really be
That our love was too?
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hello I'm here to review your poem
Such a short poem yet so good!!
I really love this.
In twenty eight words you created something so beautiful. It truly made me think.
There's so many things to think about this poem and wow I dont know, while I thought a lot it also left me completely speechless.
there's no grammatical or spelling errors.
overall very well written piece. honestly a favorite of mine and I definitely look forward to reading more from you!!
have an amazing day!
>Adrian
Short and sweet!
Although there is very little imagery used, it allows the reader to create their interpretation of the poem, and it also avoids the 'telling instead of showing' error that happens to so many writers. I agree with rosette below about the repeated use of 'never', therefore you could adjust the line 'Violets are never blue' to 'Violets aren't all blue'; this adds to the emphasis of the first two lines as they are then very similar.
Maybe you could add a couple of lines on to the end to develop the last two lines further, just to create more imagery and not be too vague with the poem. Other than that, you've done a super job with such few literary techniques and words used. Well done!
Good morning, Werthan!
This is merely rosette dropping in for a quick review.
Actually, my 100th review - WHAAA??!! Yay for me!!! *throws confetti*
Anyway. Excuse me.
To begin with, I like how you opened this poem. You hear that roses and violets phrase everywhere, and while it is pretty cliché, I appreciate your twist on it. I think I need to make a correction on that second line, however. While violets are typically purple, there are blue ones, too! They also come in yellow, white and cream. It varies, as it does with the rose.
Now for some Serious Critiques
*attempts to look solemn*
This isn't a Huge Fat Deal, but considering this is a short poem, I don't like the repetition of "never" used so closely together. This could tie back to what I just said about the violets. Maybe you could change that line to something more along the lines of "violets aren't always blue".
But we have another problem with that second "never". You say: "As I've grown to see those things were never true..." What things are never true? What's NOT true is roses aren't all red, and violets are never blue. Now that doesn't make sense. What IS true is roses aren't all red. You're saying with that second "never" that that is NOT true. It should look more like:
"Roses aren't all red, Violets are never blue. As I've grown to see those things were true..."
Now I understand what you're trying to say in this, but you can't use two negatives like that. Actually, it's more like three here: "Roses are not", "Violets are never", and "those things were never". That last one contradicts everything you just said previously. (I hope I explained that well enough). Do you see what I mean?
So, you could simply chop out that second "never", but I wouldn't recommend doing that unless you stick an adjective before that "true" so it doesn't look quite so empty. Really, what you want to do with this is up to you - it's your poem! And I'm not much of an expert on poetry. xD
What About this Love
Alright. Let me try to get the picture of this. You're saying, because roses aren't always red and violets aren't always blue, and you've grown to see how that is true, how could it be that your love (with significant other) is true?
Well, that's an interesting comparison. But you've only compared it to two things. I understand your point for this is stronger, but only comparing Real Love to two things is not very strong. I'd think there would be more points to consider that would make you question this love.
The thing is, I don't know much about you and this significant other. What even made you start wondering if this love was true or not? Did significant other do something? If this love was solid and strong, you certainly wouldn't be questioning. So what's the background?
These six lines are just a little glimpse into your life, a little touch of personalization but not much.
I want more.
Yes, it is cliché, but you could make this a strong and emotional piece. Longer and more detailed. I feel like this is the beginning of something. It's just not all of it.
And there you have it! I wish you a fantastic day, Werthan, and the best of luck to all your works! Curious or suspicious about anything I said? Just lemme know. I hope you find this somewhat helpful, and I'll take off now.
cheers!
-rosette
Hello there!
Luata here to leave a review. It's a bit early in the morning here, so if I start to ramble, please forgive me. I'm still a little groggy. I'll jump right into it, though, so onward and upward!
My first impression of this poem is that it is just a little cliche. The play off of "Roses are red and violets are blue" has been done before. Perhaps on this site, perhaps not, but I'm sure that I've seen it somewhere. And any poetry about love or the notion of love, or relationships struggles to find a place without being cliche, I think. It's such a well-written topic. Of course, I mean no offense to you; I have my fair share of cliche works (I mean, honestly, just click over to my portfolio. My writing from two years ago? Heaven save us.)
Continuing on, this line gave me a bit of pause: "And no violet's really blue". More specifically, the part that gave me pause was "no violet's". I think you could reword that to get rid of the "no" but still have a good line that follows the syllable patterns and the rhyme that you've already set up in the poem.
The last two lines were the one that made it kinda cliche, but you certainly got your point across and I applaud that you did that in so few words.
I hope that this review helped a bit. Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions and I hope that you take them with a grain of salt. If you ever need another review, just drop me a line!
Have a wonderful day!
~Luata
I found a way to fix that one easily. Thanks!
Wow!!! This is amazing! Its short; yes, but it shows pain about relationships.
Deep!!!!