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Hi Waywardbird,

A very nice poem with carefully chosen words. There are few words I contemplate about.
Not being native I wonder about the meaning of a motley soul.
Is this a diverse soul; many of the same type and therefore a kind of cheap?
The dark which tells us the colours apart? Isn’t light doing that?
Again a non native issue perhaps: A semblance of peace is not a peace that was hoped for,
but more what is expected?
The whole imagery makes me wonder who the ‘we’ are. What made ‘we’ chase ‘her’ away.
Were is your world and what made you get peace with her? An intriguing poem indeed.
Perhaps you want to shed some light. PM me.

Best regards, Raoden

Wow, well let me tell you, it worked! Good job! I agree with the others you do have to re-read it and think about it. Plus it will mean something different to everybody! It's a beautiful poem, amd I'm so glad that you posted it!
Keep Writing
XxX

Awwww, thank you so much redleaf! I really appreciate the feedback

Hi WaywardBird,

I really loved this poem! It's true - this style really does catch your attention and I really love how it was written! It's very simple to read, but it's true meaning is so much more. As one reviewer said, you really need to think about it. And I love that about this - it makes you think deeply about it's message. It had pretty good imagery too, and flowed beautifully!

Love it! Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

Thanks so much guys, really appreciate the feedback! And the poem is kind of based around how 'normal' kids are usually bright and shiny, like colors, and the dark people, (Not black people) the goths, the wrist cutters, etc. are kind of cast out for their rainy cloud. But really, it's the two personalities that bring out the characteristics and differences in each other. My point of view is we need to spend less time agreeing and more time getting perspective and respecting. Only then can we all truly be happy, and not want to slit each other's throats.

The style of this poem really catches your attention - it's not the kind you can simply skim over and grasp the general idea, you make the reader work hard to catch your meaning; like a story only the listening will appreciate. I enjoyed the language of the piece and the imagery. The meaning was still unclear to me in the end but poetry is not always something you have to completely understand to appreciate. Good piece.

This is a really good poem! It flows nicely, and the diction is great. I am a huge fan of vivid imagery, because I am a visual person, and this poem has good imagery. I also think that the style did fit well with the poem.

At first, we were so proud
about how we chased away the dark.