Published July 18, 2011
“And in those darkest of depths you just keep on smiling. Having already established yourself as the quiet one, the one who just gets on, you don’t need to worry about being noticed. That thought... the idea you could disappear without it being noted grows in you, until you’re consumed by it.
The voices in your head are all that you can hear, because they’re the ones you’ve made to shut out those outside. Walled away behind those barriers you sit, night after night, tossing that coin and telling yourself that it’s all heading into oblivion. One final step and the game can be over. You’ll have won.
You recognise that in the game of life the stakes aren't high enough anymore. You've already removed yourself from anything of worth, and without something meaningful to lose there’s no point in playing. You’re down to your last chip. It replaces the coin you flip; no longer do you have heads or tails, it's blank on both sides.
There’s no moral quandary anymore, it’s a clear-cut line of what has to be done. It’s not an option; it’s what is necessary.
You play your hand with the biggest wager you can afford. The only one you have left.”
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139,404 Literary Works • 672,552 Reviews
"the idea you could disappear without it being noted grows in you, until you’re consumed by it."
Did you mean to write 'noticed'? Because 'noted' is alright, but it's a it off.
"You’ll have won."
Are you sure that's grammatically correct?
"You recognise that in the game of life the stakes aren't high enough anymore."
Recognise fits, but I'm not sure this is the best option possible.
Aside from my own little "notes", I think this is great, very descriptive, quite philosophical, really enjoyable.
I do have a problem with it as a dialogue, no offence, but however beautiful it may be- it's just not convincing, I have a hard time believing it's a dialogue.
But really, a great work.
I love this a lot, but I wish I could know more of what the speaker was talking about. It was really good, though. I especially liked the first paragraph. Good job and good luck.
Gah, WT, this is amazing! I really got into the whole thing. The imagery in here was great. I found myself focusing on this hand, rolling a coin back and forth between his fingers. All I can see is this hand, a suit cuff stained a bit. Its a really strange image, but thats what I see lol. The descriptions in here are amazing and I can't wait to see where you go with it =]