Today is the day I will shape the world
one great mighty man once said
“BE THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD YOU WANT TO SEE”
I want to be that change
I want the world
My people of this day
all of you, to stand with me
You complain, you discuss
the wrongs of this planet, society, life, love, the opposite sex
this list can go on forever
why don’t you come here and stand with me
Let’s look at this word, this ugly word
Discrimination
spelt D-I-S-C-R-I-M-I-N-A-T-I-O-N
it’s meaning, you tell me
tell me what others have done to you
how you have been affected by this concept
how you been shot down
Tell me how much you have hurt by this 12 letter word
Now take a breathe with me
and I will tell you the secret to defeating it,
this rising enemy,
the enemy who has taken many wait,
just wait for it
It’s just a word
DID YOU HEAR ME CORRECTLY IT’S JUST A WORD
We use bad words in our daily discussions
but we don't give really meaning behind it
the really words to fear are words such as discrimination
see how much destruction it has brought us
young people of today
you have contributed to this destruction of your world
Now I will ask you to come up here next to me
and take my open hands
Everyone do it take each other hands
in your own
now was that so hard
I don’t think so
Now RISE up with me and look around we are one
This one simple act has proven
that word can be defeated, discrimination
like fairy tales that have been retold since the dawn of time
the have been told because they are more than true
not because they tell us the dragon exist
but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated
So take up your weapons
raise them up in your arms
amd throw them into the flame of hope
Hope for Equality
shape humanity
show the world we are human
show yourself you have the guts to be the person you want to be
Show your strength put down your ways of fading out and tune in
and take someones hand
and RISE with me
RISE with me to be the change in the world you want to see
Now close your eyes
ONE TWO THREE OPEN
you are now equal
and always be
you are one with your peers
now stand up and go change the world
this is my start to destruction of inequality
and my first step to EQUALITY
young people of today take them with me
My change in the world has already begun with this
the words I’m giving you now
Before I’m on my way
last question to the young people of today
WHAT IS YOUR TOMORROW?Points:
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140,138 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Hi there. Gaurav here for a review. First of all, I have to admit I loved your poem. I am a sucker for feel-good poems/stories and your poem has that emotion.
An optimistic start! I really liked it. For a long time I haven't read a poem on this site, which has a good message in it. The capital letters are used quite cleverly, not just in the opening stanza, but throughout the poem. It's daunting task to measure capital letters as more often than not,they create a wrong impression. You have smartly used it and created a layered emotion through it.
Unfortunately, I have to agree with gia2505. I did find this poem a tad too stretched to create an impact. However, I read it completely because of the sheer goodness it has in its theme.
I recommend you to reread your poem and edit a stanza or two to increase the pace.
It has lot of good things in it though. By using different font size, you can grab reader's attention instantly. Also, you have tactfully avoided the lyrical style. It could have hindered your poem, and reduced its impact.
Overall this is a superlative poem, which needs a bit of editing to add some crisp to the narrative. Keep writing! Great Job!
Hi
This is great. It's a little long for my taste but I love the idea and can relate as it's what I want in the world. Also, I don't think this is a bad thing but it sounds like a speech. Near the end there is a line "and always be" is that supposed to be "and always will be"? Personally, I would change
"and take someones hand
and RISE with me
RISE with me to be the change in the world you want to see "
to
"Take someones hand
and RISE with me
be the change in the world you want to see"
but that's my opinion. Anyway, good job!