z

Young Writers Society



For Mary

by VioletFantasy


It’s crazy how flimsy a life is. It will be there, solid to the touch, but then it can also disappear in a blink of an eye. We try not to think of death because if we did, we would forget to live. It’s our body’s defense mechanism that keeps our feelings intact.

Sometimes the topic of death becomes unavoidable, like when one of your classmates has passed away. Someone you used to see every day. You might not have even been close to them, but it suddenly feels like there is something missing in your life. You’re suddenly thinking about how it could have been you or one of your friends. People you care about could be mourning you or you could be mourning someone who you could never get back. The family of the classmate is having to go through this. I find myself crying just thinking about it.



A girl who never got to graduate or choose what career she wanted to pursue. She could have made great things happen in the world, but we will never know because she will be six feet under instead. A doctor, a writer, a fashion designer, maybe even the first female president. Who knows? The world was her oyster and she was the pearl. Now the oyster has shut the pearl up inside of it, never to be seen again.


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11 Reviews


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Reviews: 11

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Tue Aug 04, 2020 4:18 am



First sorry for your friend. Hope he finds peace.
I read your post, it actually sounds sad. I hope you are going well. People whom you love when are lost unexpectedly you get crushed, my teacher whom I didn't like much died and then I found his presence. I feel sad for you and hope you overcome this sad thing




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Sat Aug 01, 2020 4:54 pm
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JesseWrites wrote a review...



Hello there,

This is quite the emotional piece, so reviewing this is close to impossible. I will put anything I find to nitpick in a spoiler as reading that might be hard because of said topic. I wish you and her family the best. If you ever want to talk about something or vent I'd be happy to help you out, so send a PM my way if you'd like to do that.

Spoiler! :
Nitpicks:
One thing that caught my eye was her full name in the title. For safety reasons I think taking her last name out you be much better. That can be a danger to you and her family members, and they don't need a stalker with what already happened.

She could have made great things happen in the world, but we will never know because she will be six feet under instead. A doctor, a writer, a fashion designer, maybe even the first female president.


^This can be expanded on. A semicolon can bring those ideas together as that would help you show more powerful emotions.


The language used is simple, yet it shows how much you care, and that helps a lot of people who have been in similar situations. From what I've read, I can tell that Mary will be appreciated, which means everything to anyone close to her, and to you too most likely.

Haley






Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. You made a good point about changing the title and I had been planning on changing it anyway. A semicolon would you really help that sentence too. I was not sure on how to combine those sentences, so thank you for addressing that.



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11 Reviews


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Reviews: 11

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Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:40 pm
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NoobWriterIsHere wrote a review...



I changed my reviews twice sensing they would be wrong to say here. In this I will not be reviewing the grammar as it would be disrespectful to the deceased.

First sorry for your friend. Hope she finds peace.
I read your post, it actually sounds sad. I hope you are going well. People whom you love when are lost unexpectedly you get crushed, my teacher whom I didn't like much died and then I found his presence. I feel sad for you and hope you overcome this sad tradegy.
I hope Mary, your friend is doing well and is probably cheering for your success. She will always be with you and cherish the time spent with you. I am sad as our world had lost another shinning star from its collection. May she rest in peace






Thank you for your condolences. It would have been fine if you corrected my grammar, especially since I wrote this in less than a half hour, but I appreciate your respect.
I am so sorry about your teacher, even though you didn%u2019t like him. It%u2019s still hard. I wasn%u2019t that close to Mary, but we had a few classes together and were assigned to the same groups frequently for projects. I think her death hit me hard because I experienced a death in my family earlier this year. She was my baby cousin and she died in her sleep. They still don%u2019t know why she died, and I%u2019m sure that is really hard for her parents. She was the sweetest little girl, always smiling and wanting to play with me. I miss her so much. From then on, I have always taken death more personally. I understand what the mourners are going through and it%u2019s devastating. With time, I%u2019m sure it will get better, but for now I just have to push through. Sorry for the mini rant, but I needed to get that off my chest. Thank you again for your review and I am hope you have a wonderful day!





I don%u2019t know why all of those %u201CI%u3019%u201Ds came up! I don%u2019t know how to edit them out. Sorry about that!



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11 Reviews


Points: 9
Reviews: 11

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User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 9
Reviews: 11

Donate


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