Young Writers Society

Hi VioletFantasy! I read your poem yesterday morning and I'm back now for a review

First of all, I love how crisp and consistent your rhyming scheme is! Often time a rhyming scheme can make a poem sound awkward because the poet has had to structure the lines weirdly to get them to rhyme, but for the most part your rhymes feel really natural which is awesome!

There's only one place that feels a teeny bit awkward, which is the very last line - it just seems a bit long-winded, and I feel like something more concise like "It leaves space for happiness to sprout" would flow a bit better. But if you like it how it is, no pressure to change it!

@anneonomus already mentioned some places where the wording could be changed up to prevent repetition, and I agree with all their points about that, so I won't go over that stuff since they have! The only other thing I want to mention about repetition is the use of the phrase "ball of anger". I feel like if you changed it subtly each time that could add a bit more nuance and interest to the poem. For example, if we look at the first stanza ~

There's a ball of anger welling up inside of me

There's a ball of anger longing to be free

It's bashing its head against my walls

I wish it was traveling down someone else's halls

Spoiler! :

There's a ball of anger welling up inside of me,

There's a ball of anger longing to be free -

It's bashing its head against my walls;

I wish it was traveling down someone else's halls.


The ball of anger travels to the top

I can feel that I'm about to pop!

It keeps pushing its way through

Like a hammer pounding on a screw.


The rage bursts out in a tidal wave;

I will no longer be its slave.

I release all of it, I let it out

It leaves room for hope and happiness to sprout.

Again, this is just one way you could use punctuation, there are plenty of others! (I tend to use a lot of semicolons and dashes in my writing, so this is how I'd punctuate it in my style; your style is probably different though, and there's nothing wrong with that!) (I swear I didn't use that semicolon on purpose )

Hello VioletFantasy!
I really like the concept of this poem, so I'm excited to be able to give some feedback! I think that your personification of the emotions works very well, and I really enjoyed your use of metaphors and similes! I also thought that the simple couplet rhyme scheme and stanzas structure the poem nicely.
My suggestions would be to try experimenting a little with the language of the poem. For example, since you used the verb "travel" in two sequential lines,

I wish it was traveling down someone else's halls
The ball of anger travels to the top

I can feel that I'm about to pop!

There's a ball of anger longing to be free

Thanks for sharing your poem! It's fun to see all the variety in topics for poetry - anything from a reflection on love to a reflection on anger. This piece is certainly relatable, and you did a good job capturing the feeling of suppressed rage. I have a few suggestions for this piece. As always, take what you like and leave the rest!

First, I really love the imagery of anger welling up inside and bursting out in a tidal wave. The repetition of the phrase "a ball of anger" between the first and second stanza works well. However, repeating "a ball of anger" two lines in a row right in the beginning seems almost too repetitive. That's just my personal opinion, but it might be interesting to play around with some other phrases that describe your topic.

Maybe "a balloon of anger" would help emphasize the idea that it's filling up and filling up and eventually has to pop. A "bubbling stew of anger" gives the impression your anger is going to boil over. It's a short poem, so of course you can't put in every metaphor in the world, but considering a few other ideas might make your poem even more powerful.

Second, you use punctuation in some places (the second line of the second stanza and commas in a few places) but you don't seem to be using it consistently. I'd suggest putting in commas and periods where you'd naturally pause in the piece.

Finally, I love rhyming poems! It's so fun to see the way your rhymes add to this poem and further the main idea of rage pushing to get out. However, there are just a few rhymes that don't quite make sense to me. The idea "It's bashing it's head against my walls, I wish it was traveling down someone else's halls" wasn't quite clear in my head as a reader. One resource I use a lot when writing poetry is RhymeZone. It just gives a list of words you can consider that rhyme with the word you put in. Of course, it's totally up to you as the writer, but it might make your poem flow more naturally if you try out a few alternate rhymes.

Great job on this poem! Definitely relatable, and you have some really interesting imagery. Keep on writing.

Hello man! What a coincidence to see you again, lol. I am quite new at reviewing, so please go easy on me.
I really like the idea of your poem, and i think it's really relatable to a everyone since i think it's hard to believe that no one ever had issues with anger.
I don't really have all that much criticism to give, and if i had to give any, i'd say that the metaphor "Like a hammer creating a hole with a screw" sounds a bit awkward and stiff for your poem, so i think you could switch it by something more natural and maybe that gives a more destructive or chaotic sound, i tought of a few sugestions and if you're interested i could give them to you.
But, as a newbie myself i think this is all i can give, as a whole, even tough it's not really my style, your poem is very fluid and natural, and i only thing that part i mentioned kind of messed with it's flow. Please take my words with a bag of salt since i'm new at this, but it's basically it.
Hope you find this useful!