z

Young Writers Society



Tale of Souls - Chapter Four

by Riverlight, Stringbean


The grumpy, seemingly-young woman soaked the scalding hot blade in magically cooled water. "This will be the finest blade I will have forged in nearly a cen-- a very long time," she said to a cat.

The large feline had long, pointy ears and an extremely long tail. Her silvery pelt was lined with darker splotches, like the shadows of the moon, and her misty green eyes glimmered like the ocean deeps. "I know how old you are, Sinestra," the WereCat replied. "And we both know that I'm not even a tenth of your age."

"Hush," Sinestra Hopkins-Jones growled. "Not so loud! You aren't too powerful to be tied up in a sack and tossed in the river."

"Hmmphf. That's what you think."

The WereCat stood and then arched her spine, stretching after having sat by her old friend's side for hours. The afternoon sun was quickly passing, and the redness of the hot blade was fading.

"What do you think of it, Christine?" Sinestra asked, hanging the sword from a rack as she magically cooled it.

"I think that you need to get to work with the smiths that Harnon sent to you."

Sinestra sighed and held the blade tightly in her hand. "This blade will only ever be held by one bloodline, and it shall be held by the men of a line not yet born. It will be passed down from one generation to the next until destroyed on the field of battle."

"And what battle will that be?" Christine asked. "Or, rather, when?"

"Not for a long time," Sinestra answered. "It's bloodline wil betray it in the end. Untergang, I name it; Doom. For great doom shall come to its final wielder from one who betrayed him." Sinestra tightened the bun her dark brown hair was wrapped in.

Christine sighed. "And you say that I speak in riddles... I'll fetch the pesky Dwarves." And with that, she leapt away from her comfy swan-feather cushion and deeper into the city of Owl Tree.

__________

Aidor surveyed the forge as he stepped inside, heavy boot buckles jingling softly against his worn, gray leather. Christine followed, Divor just behind her. The forge was large with more than enough space to maneuver here to there and back again twice over. The roof was made of enchanted wooden slats that stopped rain or snow from falling in but allowed smoke and steam to easily vent out. The thick walls were made of strong bricks held together with black mortar.

At the heart of the room was a rather large furnace, bright embers giving the room a dim light. Connected to that furnace was a large set of bellows, where a young dryad was busy keeping the fire as hot as he could. Hammers, tongs, and a dozen other tools lay on a large stone slat that worked as a table, and there were two anvils to either side. A large pit nearby was full of water, and there were various molds along one wall where weapons and tools would be made.

Sinestra was at the molds, pouring silver into two molds. "Dwarves," she said, greeting them. "I hope you're ready to work. We have many hours until dawn, and the full moon shall soon be rising."

Arms folded as he gave one more slow glance around, Aidor's gaze finally halted on the smith. He gave her nod and a quiet "aye" as he sized her up. "Ready we are, if you tell us what it is we'll be doin'."

Sinestra muttered some words in an ancient language as she stood over a pile of blue and green gems. "We are making relics tonight," she said after completing her incantation, "and they will last for thousands of years."

The ruddy dwarf's keen but aged, gray eyes flicked up to the giant woman's face a moment as he stepped closer; Divor followed. Both peered at the gems, Divor frowning. "What sort of relics?" he asked.

"You saw the map when you met with Harnon, yes?" Sinestra asked. She did not wait for a reply. "I created that map. These relics will make that amazing tool look like a toy."

Sinestra waved one hand and a steel platter appeared; a moment later, the gems floated to rest upon it. She took a chisel into one hand and a hammer in the other.

"One day, long from now, magic will be nigh on extinct," she said as she honed in on her work. "There will be those of Dwarvish blood that remain, but for a time your works will be attributed to man. You will become a myth. But there will be those that remember and those that believe. The blood of the Dwarves will run freely through the Misericords and the valley beyond the mountains, and the Elven bloodlines shall flow in the North. But if all goes as it should...these relics, this pair of rings, shall save magic forever. Thanniel, Strength's Daughter, shall go to the lesser line of Men that shall come to rule the world. For a time, I will keep it safe. The other, Duvainthel, Beautiful Darkness, shall be kept by the greater house."

Both dwarves were silent. The younger one eyed Sinestra on the verge of suspicion. Aidor gazed at the gems though and slowly stroked the end of his beard. "Rings of great power..." he murmured to himself. "Metal forged to the hardness of rock. Brackets for the stones that will never bend." He looked up past his wild eyebrows at the woman with a hint of skepticism. "Such a magic will be all in your care. My cousin and I can only design you two pieces with a beauty worthy of encasing it..."

Sinestra offered the older Dwarf a kind smile. "Humbler words have never been used by a Dwarf. Please, Master Dwarf, take the greater ring and prepare its shape however you see fit. When the time is right, I shall add the gemstones, and together we shall encase them in this fine Elven silver. Divor shall take the lesser."

Aidor smiled back a little, and after a moment gave a slight nod. He felt satisfied as he glanced over to Divor and moved without any more talk to find a piece of charcoal.

The next three hours, the Dwarves spent sketching their designs onto pieces of slate, drawing and wiping away and redrawing. The young Dryad moved about the forge like a mouse, tending the fire, bringing pints of ale now and then with a shy glance at the dwarves and never a word. Finally, after the moon had crept past midnight and the glow of the forge climbed like fire of the walls from the floor, Aindor grunted softly to himself and straightened as he examined his work.

Sinestra had kept working on the gems, magically cutting them, refining them, preparing them for what she knew their destiny would one day be. She would most likely live to see it, for time held few restraints over the Healer. After centuries that would forever define not only Misericord and the North, but that world forevermore, she would stand on the seashore one last time before succumbing to the waves, becoming dust...

She pushed the thought from her mind, now engraving the Elvish runes deep into the sapphires and emeralds. Softly, she chanted something in another language, none, neither living nor dead would now recognize, before returning to the Common Tongue. Softly, she said:

Great jewels from beyond the Western Sea,

from the great mines beneath the mountain's face,

deep were you in the rock, so deep in the ground;

now, at long last, you shall be crowned.

Thanniel, my child, you shall go to the lesser race

while Duvainthel shall belong to a nobler caste.

Safe will you be until the time is ripe,

then destroyed to save magic, and set things right.

When her chant had ended, she looked to the moon, sensing that the in would be gone in the next few hours. "It is time, dear Dwarves, for the rings to be made."

Both dwarves turned with their slates and handed them for her to see. Divor's was more simplistic and geometric, as Dwarven works tended to be. Sinestra nodded, for she had known for years what he would create.

Aindor's design was of a different sort. Elvish and ornate, his ring was nobler and more important, as it would always be. The Healer and smith smiled as she took both of their designs from them. "Perfect," she said. "The silver has been smelting for days now. We've kept it hot and ready just for this moment."

Behind her, leaning against the wall and watching his shoes as he waited, the young dryad perked up and straightened with a soft rustle. He drew his hands from his baggy pants pockets and stepped to her side just behind her to peer at the charcoal sketches around her shoulder. He had large, round eyes, a pale green like that of a swamp, that the forge fire reflected in brightly. He blinked silently at the drawings.

Sinestra raised both of her hands, and the melted silver lifted and swam through the air. Two small rings formed, and she mentally made the jewels set in place before keeping them intact with more melted silver. Magically, she cooled and hardened the rings, and two faint wisps of light same from her mouth, going into the gems. Each gem now had a faint glow.

"They will grow stronger with time," she said weakly.

While the stout dwarves stared in awe at the new rings formed without forging, the dryad beside Sinestra looked up at her face anxiously. He shifted a little closer and touched her elbow with his smooth wooden fingertips.

Sinestra looked at her friend. "I'll be alright," she said to him quietly. "I'm always alright." She took the rings into her hands and held them for a few moments. "Master Dwarves, your task is complete. If we meet again, remember that you have done this world a great service."

Sinestra summoned a small box and placed the rings in it, side by side. "I must be off," she said. "I can reach the Elves before dawn. And then..." Sinestra paused and took a deep breathe. "And then we shall fight a war that will define an era."


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
465 Reviews


Points: 29825
Reviews: 465

Donate
Sun Mar 28, 2021 4:21 pm
View Likes
starlitmind wrote a review...



Hey :) <333

"This will be the finest blade I will have forged in nearly a cen-- a very long time," she said to a cat.


Omg xD I love how she tries to cover up that she's more than a century old

"I know how old you are, Sinestra," the WereCat replied. "And we both know that I'm not even a tenth of your age."


YAYAYAYA IT'S SINESTRA XD

Sinestra asked, hanging the sword from a rack as she magically cooled it.


Ooh, "magically cooled" is said a lot, and I'm curious as to how it's magically cooled! ^_^ a wave of the hands? a certain spell? just thinking about it?

"Not for a long time," Sinestra answered. "It's bloodline wil betray it in the end. Untergang, I name it; Doom. For great doom shall come to its final wielder from one who betrayed him." Sinestra tightened the bun her dark brown hair was wrapped in.


0.0 wow , this is super ominous and mysterious. I wonder who's going to be the last wielder? :O

I am seriously enjoying the descriptions in this beginning part so far <3 it's quite detailed, providing information on the tiniest aspects. I also like how the description was able to give the reader and idea of what time it is, like with "passing of the sun." It's quite colourful and descriptive, and I really enjoyed the first part c:

The forge was large with more than enough space to maneuver here to there and back again twice over. The roof was made of enchanted wooden slats that stopped rain or snow from falling in but allowed smoke and steam to easily vent out. The thick walls were made of strong bricks held together with black mortar.


Ooh, I really love these descriptions!! They're such tiny details, but they really do contribute a lot to the story. I think my favourite one is the second sentence, that sounds awesome xD I noticed you started all of these sentences with "the" - I don't think it's that noticeable here, but it might be helpful to vary your sentence structure here!

At the heart of the room was a rather large furnace, bright embers giving the room a dim light. Connected to that furnace was a large set of bellows


Just a bit of repetition <3

"You saw the map when you met with Harnon, yes?" Sinestra asked. She did not wait for a reply. "I created that map. These relics will make that amazing tool look like a toy."


OF COURSE SHE MADE IT :D

she would stand on the seashore one last time before succumbing to the waves, becoming dust...


yup, yup, you did >.> it's fun to read this after reading your latest chapters with Sinestra, since I now know what happens c:

When her chant had ended, she looked to the moon, sensing that the in would be gone in the next few hours.


With sentences like this, you're creating a lot of tension and suspense and mystery and a sense of foreboding, and this one gave me chills :O (I believe you meant "inn"?)

Sinestra nodded, for she had known for years what he would create.


AHH like with this sentence too, so mysterious and chilling 0.0

"And then we shall fight a war that will define an era."


Omg, this ending is perfect

This is definitely my favourite chapter so far. I suddenly grew super interested in this story!! I think Sinestra dropping hints about the future and foreshadowing events is making me even more interested in what is to come next. I also think the descriptions in this chapter added a ton to the reading experience! I felt like I was there with them in every setting since they were all described so well. The ring making process was also pretty neat to read about! I don't really have much to say, I think this chapter was awesome :)

much love to you <333




Riverlight says...


<333



User avatar
178 Reviews


Points: 34
Reviews: 178

Donate
Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:57 pm
View Likes
MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Hey! Andrew here to review! This defiantly felt magical and mysterious, but once again I struggle to find a plot. We are introduced to a whole new cast of characters, which was cool but also a bit strange.
If this is their only real moment than that defiantly would be weird. If they're side characters that will continue on, I feel we should bring our main characters into the scene, or else this feels like a weird little side quest. Out of place, y'know? If it's very important to the plot, have our main characters witness it or bring these folks in as important characters earlier. And if they are the main characters then I don't understand why this isn't the first chapter.
All these problems might be solved if the chapter was started with a more sophisticated version of "Meanwhile"/"X Days later, in Place Name"
But like I said, very magical and fun hintings, and I like these two new characters a lot too, even if they are sprung upon us in a strange way.
But into specifics!

The grumpy, seemingly-young woman soaked the scalding hot blade in magically cooled water. "This will be the finest blade I will have forged in nearly a cen-- a very long time," she said to a cat.

The large feline had long, pointy ears and an extremely long tail. Her silvery pelt was lined with darker splotches, like the shadows of the moon, and her misty green eyes glimmered like the ocean deeps. "I know how old you are, Sinestra," the WereCat replied. "And we both know that I'm not even a tenth of your age."

I like this dynamic a lot
Sinestra sighed and held the blade tightly in her hand.

So she took it off the rack?
Untergang, I name it; Doom.

This bit was confusing and clunky? Is the werecat Untergang? Why would she say the sentence like that if it is?
But that's all just my two cents, hope it helped!
Excited to see where this goes.
Thanks, and keep writing!
-Andrew




Riverlight says...


Sinestra is definitely going to be a main character; as said in the previous chapter, she is in the city of Owl Tree, which is a fair bit away from Misty Halls and Misericord.

When referring to Untergang, she is naming the sword "Doom." Much of that bit is in reference to the sword.

Thanks for the review!



MaybeAndrew says...


Wow, if she is I would start with her, not have three chapters of other characters. Because I feel like by the fourth chapter of a book the reader should know who the main character is.



Riverlight says...


There are multiple main characters, thus the "a" in front of "main character." This is largely going to be focused on Harnon, Sinestra, and several of the Misericords.



MaybeAndrew says...


Cool, sorry I read the.



User avatar
78 Reviews


Points: 18
Reviews: 78

Donate
Mon Sep 07, 2020 6:54 pm
View Likes
Buranko wrote a review...



Hey there, I am Buranko back with another review for this chapter.
I have been waiting for it ever since I read your last chapter and when reading this I definitely wasn't disappointed.
The influence of LoTR is really obvious here. Some really strong rings were made. However I don't feel that this is a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with using another work to make your own, and possibly make it better :> .
I love your habit of describing every aspect of your story, from characters to background and even the feelings some may feel, all these in great detail.
This chapter was really poetic. The phrase that really appeals to me is this one "This blade will only ever be held by one bloodline, and it shall be held by the men of a line not yet born...". God that gorgeous riddle feel! Also the chant sung by Sinestra was really expressive.

Good luck on the next one, cannot wait for it! Keep up the great work bud!




Riverlight says...


Thanks for your review! :D

The best part about this is that these rings will have no power whatsoever for roughly 3,900 years. The idea of concealing the power in them was definitely inspired by LotR, but they have extremely different purposes!

I'm really glad you like SHJ's chant! That makes me happy. @Stringbean and I have loved writing this.



Stringbean says...


Thanks for the review!
And yes, Sinestra has some amazing lines, I agree c:



Buranko says...


Hehe this subtle praising




I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon