Hi there, Viktuuri! Niteowl here to review this piece. Also, welcome to YWS!
Just a quick note: I'm not sure if you intended this to be a literary work to be reviewed or as more of a rant/to express your feelings. The latter is fine, but anything posted as a literary work is going to get at least 2 reviews to get it out of the Green Room. Literary works also cost points to post, meaning you have to do reviews to post them. So for future reference, if you want to express your emotions or whatever and aren't concerned about reviews, you can post a blog entry under the Blogs tab. For now, since this is a work, I'll treat it as such.
Overall, the feelings here are astonishingly relatable. I find it funny/strange/sad that so many people (myself included) talk about feeling isolated and having trouble making friends and putting on a mask to get through the day. I wouldn't be surprised if at least some of the people you see as "normal" feel the same way you do.
I believe I have been depressed my whole life, never making any real friends despite trying again and again.
This is a prime example of telling vs showing. This piece could be a lot more interesting if there were examples and I could get a stronger sense of the speaker's life and experiences. Also, "being depressed" and "not having friends" aren't the same thing (though they can definitely correlate). For example, a depressed person may have friends, but not want to socialize or interact with them as they normally would.
Trying to make friends or to start a conversation is the distance of the Earth and the Sun.
Getting into grammar stuff here: this sentence is awkward as is. I would rephrase the second part "...conversation is like crossing the distance from the Earth to the Sun".
I having to cry every night trying not to scream and lying saying, "Everything is all right."
This sentence is also awkward grammatically. The second part is strange because it doesn't say who they're lying to. I would rephrase this as "I cry every night, trying not to scream. I lie to [insert someone they lie to here] saying...".
If life was a flower and living person represented a petal, mine would we barely alive. Is it someone considered alive if they don't make a sound and isn't seen by those around.
This has the potential to be a powerful image, but it seems a little off to me at the moment. Is this suggesting some ridiculously huge flower that represents humanity with every person representing a petal? It's kind of hard to picture, which sort of negates the point of using a metaphor. It might make more sense to have each person be a flower and life be a garden or something. Also, "isn't" should be "aren't" in the second sentence, which also should end in a question mark.
The last paragraph is a succinct and heartbreaking ending. It also touches on another tendency of people struggling with mental health issues to minimize their symptoms and act like everything's fine. I've witnessed and done this myself so I know how terrible it can be.
Overall, this strongly captured a lot of aspects of depression and loneliness. Welcome again and keep writing!
Points: 35724
Reviews: 1274
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