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Living Hell

by Viktuuri


      I wish someone in my life looked at me. I hate going day through wretched day being looked through as what I look like rather than what I am. It can't tell how many days I have been ignored or gossiped about by the people who don't understand. It's hard to show change when no one will take the time of day to see me for who I am. I want to yell, "Please look at me!," I don't want to go any more years sitting in silence hoping someone will understand. As I try and try again I am set farther away by those who are deemed 'normal'. 

      I believe I have been depressed my whole life, never making any real friends despite trying again and again. Not living every day just passing through them. Trying to make friends or to start a conversation is the distance of the Earth and the Sun. How can I change if I'm not given the chance to try? I having to cry every night trying not to scream and lying saying, "Everything is all right." If life was a flower and living person represented a petal, mine would we barely alive. Is it someone considered alive if they don't make a sound and isn't seen by those around.

     Even if I tell every soul they wouldn't seek help, for they can only see the outside shell. Not the living hell I call a good day. In the end nothing matters, life well not dwell on a depressed soul, it will simply go on. 


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1210 Reviews


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Thu Feb 23, 2017 7:57 pm
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there, Viktuuri! Niteowl here to review this piece. Also, welcome to YWS!

Just a quick note: I'm not sure if you intended this to be a literary work to be reviewed or as more of a rant/to express your feelings. The latter is fine, but anything posted as a literary work is going to get at least 2 reviews to get it out of the Green Room. Literary works also cost points to post, meaning you have to do reviews to post them. So for future reference, if you want to express your emotions or whatever and aren't concerned about reviews, you can post a blog entry under the Blogs tab. For now, since this is a work, I'll treat it as such.

Overall, the feelings here are astonishingly relatable. I find it funny/strange/sad that so many people (myself included) talk about feeling isolated and having trouble making friends and putting on a mask to get through the day. I wouldn't be surprised if at least some of the people you see as "normal" feel the same way you do.

I believe I have been depressed my whole life, never making any real friends despite trying again and again.


This is a prime example of telling vs showing. This piece could be a lot more interesting if there were examples and I could get a stronger sense of the speaker's life and experiences. Also, "being depressed" and "not having friends" aren't the same thing (though they can definitely correlate). For example, a depressed person may have friends, but not want to socialize or interact with them as they normally would.

Trying to make friends or to start a conversation is the distance of the Earth and the Sun.


Getting into grammar stuff here: this sentence is awkward as is. I would rephrase the second part "...conversation is like crossing the distance from the Earth to the Sun".

I having to cry every night trying not to scream and lying saying, "Everything is all right."


This sentence is also awkward grammatically. The second part is strange because it doesn't say who they're lying to. I would rephrase this as "I cry every night, trying not to scream. I lie to [insert someone they lie to here] saying...".

If life was a flower and living person represented a petal, mine would we barely alive. Is it someone considered alive if they don't make a sound and isn't seen by those around.


This has the potential to be a powerful image, but it seems a little off to me at the moment. Is this suggesting some ridiculously huge flower that represents humanity with every person representing a petal? It's kind of hard to picture, which sort of negates the point of using a metaphor. It might make more sense to have each person be a flower and life be a garden or something. Also, "isn't" should be "aren't" in the second sentence, which also should end in a question mark.

The last paragraph is a succinct and heartbreaking ending. It also touches on another tendency of people struggling with mental health issues to minimize their symptoms and act like everything's fine. I've witnessed and done this myself so I know how terrible it can be.

Overall, this strongly captured a lot of aspects of depression and loneliness. Welcome again and keep writing! :)




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Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:56 am
AkankshaD wrote a review...



Hey Viktuuri, AkankshaD here for the review and a little counselling.
I think what you wrote now was something born out of your frustration, your anxiety and anger. Why do you think anyone should look at you? You are the owner of your body and your soul and no one ever has a right to judge it. Yeah, I agree it feels horrible when you're ignored or laughed at and of course, you feel like shouting and saying ,"Please look at me!". It happened to me too. From first grade to the third grade , I was bullied because I was a child prodigy, I was betrayed by my best friend a number of times ,no one befriended me and I cried for hours and hours on my mother's lap. But a point came when I decided to open up and prove myself and now anyone who meets appreciates me to be myself.
For your writing, you spoke your heart out and you did it very honestly. It was a short article and very convincing. The line- ' Trying to make friends or to start a conversation is the distance of the earth and the Sun.' was an awesome line reflecting your good sense of comparison.
Well, as this piece was entirely on your thoughts no changes or editing in this. All I would like you to do is to keep on writing and try writing something new the next time. Spit the frustration out and keep doing good work people will be bound to notice you . If you want to share with me something I'm always there. For now, here goes a follow!





The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.
— Shakti Gawain