Young Writers Society

- NOT A REVIEW -

It was such an amazing poetry!!! I loved how you expressed the feeling.

Hi Vex3330! Welcome to YWS! If you have any questions about the site (or this review), feel free to ask

I love how short and simple this poem is - it doesn't have any unnecessary frills, it just says what it came to say and then finishes. I know for one I sometimes have trouble keeping my poems concise, so well done!

Since it is so short, every little choice you've made - content-wise or style-wise - really stands out, so I'd like to go over a few little things. (There are really barely any rules to poetry, and these are all suggestions/personal opinions, so if you disagree with anything then you can totally leave how is!)

Firstly, capitalization. In a poem, you can choose to capitalize the beginning of every line (like you've done), not capitalize anything at all, or capitalize in sentence-case. It really doesn't matter, it's up to you as the poet! And I do have to say, kudos for staying consistent throughout the poem - consistency is something I bring up in a lot of my reviews, as it really helps a poem (or any piece) feel unified. There are a few things to keep in mind when choosing capitalization; what you've done (capitalizing each line) gives a poem a formal, sometimes slightly removed, feeling. Not capitalizing anything at all makes a poem feel informal, familiar, and sometimes more raw. Using sentence case is a sort of in-between, and can give different feelings based on the content of the poem.

I personally think sentence-case (capitalizing the first word of every sentence) would suit your poem really well, however for that, we would need punctuation, which leads me into my next comment.

Your poem actually doesn't have any punctuation! This, like capitalization, is a stylistic choice, so there's nothing inherently wrong with that decision, but I personally feel like adding some commas and periods would benefit this poem. And if you added periods, you could also change to sentence-case if you wanted to. In the spoiler below, I added some punctuation - there any many ways of doing so, and if you choose to, you could definitely punctuate it differently!

Hi! Not a review. This is so sweet. Loved it!
Also Welcome to YWS. I hope u have a lovely time here

Firstly, this is very beautiful! I can feel the love and the need and that is what makes this so remarkable. this poem is brief but a lot is being inferred in those brief lines that don't require reading in between. the persona is passionate and filled with romanticism and usually I dont like romantic poems due to the over the top theatrics, unnecessary exaggeration and sometimes even obscenity . BUT this! wow .It has all the stuff but in the right amounts and I read it without rolling my eyes . this is amazing

Greetings!
I’m VioletFantasy and I’m here to review this sweet little poem you wrote. First of all, I absolutely love how you started each stanza with the word “someday”. It really makes the poem flow and I’m a sucker for poems with repeating words.

My favorite lines in this poem are definitely:
“ And lose my breath from its beauty

And then tell the world that it could only dream

Of being as beautiful as you”

Just reading this took my breath away. Saying someone is better than all of the world’s wonders is the best compliment anyone could receive.

Your grammar and spelling is spot on! I don’t see any mistakes. I only have one thing that I would like to mention. It has to do with this line: “ Someday I want to see the blues and greens and yellows of the world”. I really like what it is saying, but it’s a little longer than the other lines. “World” is thrown on its own separate line because there isn’t enough room for it. It might help the structure of the poem if that line was shortened so “world” could fit on the same line. It’s not a big deal if it doesn’t get changed though. It is still amazing!!

I can’t wait to read more of your work! Keep writing!!!