Published September 23, 2011
Dear child in frame by the window,
Turn away from my tainted eyes.
I believe I have not been sincere,
With my heart too many times.
The passage of years has changed us forever,
But memoirs of youth I will always treasure.
How pure the simple smile,
How innocent the mind.
How long I to remember,
What I have long forgot.
With a smile we then greeted strangers,
And we trusted without a doubt.
We forgave our friends their betrayals,
But the pain remained with us.
The passage of years has changed us forever,
But memoirs of youth I will always treasure.
How pure the simple smile,
How innocent the mind.
How long I to remember,
What I have long forgot.
Time has passed and the memories faded,
Into mists away from my grasp.
But through fog always shines never dying,
Guiding light of her loving eyes.
The passage of years has changed us forever,
But memoirs of youth I will always treasure.
How pure the simple smile,
How innocent the mind.
How long I to remember,
What I have long forgot.
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,498 Reviews
Awesome. I like how it flows together. Good job.
Dude, I wish I could write like that. I liked it, it was kind of profound to me. I can't really explain it, but I enjoyed reading it quite a bit. Other than repeating what the first review said, it was nice. I can't really tall you much else, just that you should keep writing stuff like this. ^^
This is beautiful. I love the rhythmic way this sounds.
The imagery it depicts is wonderful. Of how fleeting our life and youth is. Yesterday is gone and we only have memories as prove.
I especially liked this part:
"Time has passed and the memories faded
Into mist away from my grasp.
But though the fog always shines never dying,
Guiding light of her loving eyes"
I must say this touched me very deeply haha. I enjoyed it but was the repeating of one of those stanzas intentional? They seem to flow very nicely with it repeated which kind of surprises me. Well I loved the emotion and the story this tells. Reminds me of how the elderly try to let go of their past and not regret the choices they've made. How much the innocence of children can baffle even a teen. It is really amazing. I can't wait to read more from you. Keep up the good work and Good luck.
Soulkana<3
Really good. Only a couple sentences didn't flow as smoothly as others.
Dragon Rider