I lost myself,
I do not recognize the stranger in the mirror.
The dull and lifeless face that stares at me
Speaks softly, “You’re just a puppet, not the puppeteer.”
I put on masks to play the parts,
In ever going play of life.
The stage is set,
The script I learned by heart.
The audience, already in their seats, await the start.
Let lights be dimmed! Upcast the curtain!
My tears – let them reach your soul.
My smile – let it make your heart rejoice.
I will, for you, be anyone you wish.
I shall become the person you desire.
Alas, no matter how I try, I cannot be
The person that long time ago I left behind.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
I really enjoyed your poem. It seemed to have emotion behind the words and you did a good job of making that come through.
There were only two little things I would like to touch on. When it says, "in ever going play of life", do you mean "in THE ever going play of life"? Without the "the" it does not make very much sense to me. Also, I find "upcast" to be a strange word to use there. I think it interrupts the flow that you have going, but I also know that as a writer, I can sometimes get attached to a certain wording that I use, so whether or not you change it is up to you; that is just my suggestion.
All in all, I really enjoyed your poem! Keep writing!
Hmm, interesting poem. It could definitely use some work, and all, but the feelings portrayed were something a lot of people can face and feel themselves. We all feel like we're hiding our true selves and becoming something the world or people want us to be. Anyway, on to the review:
I also think you should/could divide this into stanzas of some sort, make it look a little nicer, a littler easier to read. The imagery was good, for the most part. It felt a tad cliche', but that's fine with me. Overall, a nice poem!
It was okay, a tiny bit raw in places, like you just threw words down, but it did have some meaning, and I actually enjoyed reading it. The best part was the first two lines:
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