They come in all shapes and sizes
Petrifying, terrifying, frightening creatures
Yet I don’t see a problem
When having the chance to eat it
The ruffle of feathers
And head moves while walking
And the beak, oh the beak
A weapon of mass destruction
The dark yellow eyes
Staring right into my soul
And if I wish for those eyes to disappear
Even being headless makes this zombie more horrific
They look so innocent when young
Pure of heart if you believe
But once an adult
A brute will start to form
I’d rather get a bad haircut
I would even eat rancid food
I’d rather be left in the dark alone
Than be in the presence of that creature
I’d listen to nails on a chalkboard
I’d even stand on top of a huge skyscraper
I would even let snakes slither on top of me
Than hear the cluck cluck cluck of that beast
You could say I can just kick it
Size difference and all
And even if it could hurt me
Why stoop to this monsters level and attack
Call me scared
For thinking this thing is a monster
But in my mind all what I can see
Is a little me petrified of that cruel life form
My first memory of this creature
Seemed simple and pleasant
Yet out of the blue
I still remember those haunting moments
I will still hide for now
To avoid this brutality
And maybe someday I will change my views
But for now I’ll keep my distance
And save myself from that monstrosity
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hello hello I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. I wonder what happened to cause this mistrust of chickens whatever it was fuelled quite a poem. I do really enjoy this piece I feel the message comes out very clearly However there is one line I would alter.
"And head moves while walking." I feel this is missing a word, and it could also be a chance to slip in what makes it so scary when their head moves. ( For my example I got rid of the and to cut down on repeating starts. forgive me if it was done on purpose) " How their head moves in jitters ( Or whatever scary thing you want to put here) "
Other than that it seems my other concerns were said in a review before mine. Thus I will leave it at that as to not be a broken letter instead I will wish you luck in your fight against chickens. I feel Goose might also need a poem aboubt being scary one of these days as well.
Keep writing and drink water!
Hey, KaeRae here! Just wanted to review your story while I was reading it. First of all, I don't have a fear of chickens, but the way you described them made me suddenly terrified. 😭
to point out it takes away the dramatic effect instead of using I'd or I would in all of the sentences. Just a personal thought. I totally understand if you meant to write it that way for an effect. It would be a lot of repetition if you just use one instead of both though~The imagery is amazing!! On the part that you wrote,
Just a simple correction, it should have commas in between the clucks.
Other than that, I don't really have anything to correct. It was very well written and the way you described your fear was great.
Keep Writing!!! KaeRae ❤️
Dude I forgot to submit it as a review not a comment. Sorry my bad %uD83E%uDD26%u200D%u2640%uFE0F
Chickens are now officially scary ~~