z

Young Writers Society


12+

A Chance Encounter

by VergilthePoet


Author's Note: This is an idea I've been wanting to work on. I know it's extremely rough and needs a lot of crafting. This is straight from being written, so don't judge it too harshly as I haven't been able to take the time to craft and improve it. Also, I know a lot goes unexplained for right now, though I can tell you now that what is not explained now is explained in the next chapter. Let me know what you think, any help is welcomed.

Chapter 1:

A sunset in the horizon, a slight drizzle began to wash away the weight of an old day and welcome the beginning of a beautiful night. I never understood why mortals saw the rain as such a negative omen. Not when the pure existence of it comes with its own unspoken rhythm and poetry. Times like that are times I love to sit in my chair and just experience the rainfall. If only it wasn't for one problem.

     “Master Maverick, please come inside. We should not risk the chance that you become ill.”

     I turn my head to see the face of my servant and best friend, Miranda, the only human that knows my identity as the god of probability. “Cut me some slack, Miranda, the odds of me catching something from the rain is only—”

     She put her finger to her lips. “Shh. If you say it, it might be true. But you can't give an absolute.”

     I sighed. “Yeah, you're right. You're stubborn, you know?”

     She nodded. “That's why you hired me.” I went back inside, throwing my wet coat onto the coat rack as I entered. “Madame Kagari sent a letter to you. I took the liberty of reading it for you. She would like you to visit the Realm of the Gods to discuss the new god of Death.”

     “Was she more specific than that or is that it?”

     “No sir, just that she needed to talk to you about Death.”

     I shook my head. “I hate it when she does that. Just once, I want to be able to visit her without a speech worth of questions prepared, you know?”

     “Well, she is an Elder god. Maybe she wants you to be able to ask questions.”

     “I love the way you think, Miranda. I'm heading to the Realm of the Gods. You go ahead and make our money for the month at the casinos. You have my blessing.”

     She bowed slightly, despite me constantly asking her in the past that she treat me like an equal. “Yes, sir. I won't let you down.”

     I left her to go about her duties. I walked into my room, crouched by my open closet, and pulled out a small, round, blue stone. The stone had an ancient symbol for “god” carved in it. It radiated with an energy that sets it apart from the rest of the world. With it enclosed in my hand, I focused on the Realm of the Gods. When I opened my eyes once again, my surroundings had changed. My Atlantic City house became the white overworld of the Realm. The roads of the Realm were solid white. The world goes on forever in every direction, and the home base of each god was somewhere on this road. My personal base was the seventh building on the right, and I needed to go to the third building on the left.

     Madame Kagari's home was stylized to match her home in the human world. It was similar to a traditional Japanese-style home. I walked to the door and knocked. “Come in, child.”

     I pushed the door open and was greeted by the smiling face of Madame Kagari. “Maverick! What a pleasure. Would you like some tea?”

     “Yes, please. Three sugars.”

     “So I see you received my message,” she said as she poured the tea into a small cup for me.

     “Yes, ma'am. What is it you wanted to talk about?”

     She placed the cup in front of me and scooped three lumps of sugar into the cup and stirred. “It seems as though Master Death has awoken. He's having visions of his previous life, however he isn't truly aware of his identity.”

     “I see. That's always the toughest part of our experience, isn't it?” I sipped some of the tea. I really didn't like the tea, but I always drank it anyways out of respect. “I remember when I started having visions of my past lives. I was a real jerk, I tell you. At least we always get to see our more recent previous life first. Master Death's previous life was, at least, a respectable one.”

     She groaned in concern. “I've been watching him for the last few years. I'm afraid that the home environment he's known growing up has not been an ideal one for a prospective god. He's not taking the visions well, and I believe that a careful hand is necessary to make sure he does not take the situation negatively.”

     “And you want me to go and introduce him to the world of the gods?”

     “If you wouldn't mind, that is. I know that you did well back when we had to introduce the previous god of war.”

     I frowned. “If you recall, Madame Kagari, that was a previous incarnation of myself. Each incarnation of a person or a god are not equal to one another.”

     “Exactly, Master Maverick. I believe you can handle this case better than your previous incarnation could.”

     I thought for a moment. “If you're so worried about his mental state when he learns he's a god, we could just not tell him. It's not like he really has any responsibilities, being a Primordial and all.”

     She shook her head, her face showing one of concern. “I wish it was that easy, however it wouldn't be fair to the previous incarnation of Death. We at least owe that much respect to him.”

     I honestly didn't think I was right for the job. I remembered a little about the previous Death, but nothing so much that I felt the need to do anything for him. Not only that, but I didn't think I had what it took to introduce a new god into our happy little family. However, it was Kagari who was asking this of me, and as she was the one who introduced me to our world seven years ago, I kind of felt obligated to do this favor for her.

     “I'll go fetch him and bring him here. I think once he sees his home base, it'll calm him down a little. Maybe by then he can see his previous life and mellow out a little.”

     She put up her hand as a warning. “Just be careful. We can't afford to let someone with as much power as Death slip through our fingers and become rogue. Do you understand?”

     “Yes, ma'am.”

     “Good. Now, I went into your godly home and placed a transportation orb on your bed, as well as Death's original Realm crystal. The orb is set to take you straight to Death's home. I had Master Theo set the time of your arrival to be late at night and I've asked Master Fitzgerald to keep his parents asleep until you're done.”

     I rolled my eyes. “What is it with you and Miranda assuming you can break personal privacy rules and just assuming I'll agree to whatever you ask?”

     Kagari let out a small chuckle. “Because you are a genuinely nice person who doesn't like to argue.”

     “Yeah, I guess I can see that.” I finished the tea and turned to leave. “I'll see you later, Madame Kagari. If I need any help, I'll let you know.”


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128 Reviews


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Sun Apr 19, 2015 6:55 pm
fantasydragon01 says...



It is a very nice story. Do not worry about receiving negative reviews. You are just starting out, and reviews, whether positive or negative, are not meant to hurt or insult you. Keep practicing and writing. Grammar and descriptions do not finish a story. Perseverance does.




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Sun Apr 19, 2015 4:07 pm
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Lightsong wrote a review...



I like the concept of this story. This sort of stories that talks about mythical gods is always my interest.

That being said, I wonder if this talks about gods taken in mythology, gods created by you, or a mix of both. Perhaps it's the middle one. If I'm right, I hope you can flesh out the concepts of gods more here since there are Western and Eastern gods. I can see bits of the concepts in this chapter.

I've never read a god with a human friend. Well, I guess it's because I read Rick Riordan's novels that talk abour mortals being gods' heroes. Since you've made Miranda as Maverick's servant and best friend, you have to have a firm explanation for that relationship.

Maverik seems like a god that can be ordered around. Maybe you need to make him decide some things on his own. His personality doesn't seem strong currently.

Well, those are the things I can touch on now. As a side note, more showing and less telling. I hope you describe how a Japanese house look like instead of sayimg it's a Japanese housw.






Thanks for the comment! I'd like to start off by saying, yeah, I did more telling than showing and that's because that's how I do things in the first draft, then I go back and fill in the showing later when I edit it. Next, I didn't explain things yet because that comes in the next chapter, and explaining things twice is kind of redundant. Lastly, these are gods and concepts that I came up with on my own, and I apologize if anything was confusing about that. Thanks again!



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Sun Apr 19, 2015 12:46 pm
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kevin25a wrote a review...



God of probability, that's a new one. I doubt anyone would have used it before. I really liked this story, I saw no problems with it personally, or areas I thought needed to improve. I definitely look forward to all your chapters to come. I did want to point out you named him after a horse, and a type of cigarette, plus a roller coaster. Great choice of name too. As for Kagari, a Japanese style home would be normal, the name itself is Japanese. I also spotted a couple things that show signs of being an anime fan. The road of houses for God's lasting forever seems unlikely but not really a problem. I do think you should explain how a God of death died, or how any God would, but it's not a problem either way.

Anyway good job, I really loved the story and look forward to your next chapters






Thanks for the review! Just like I said for the other person, I will be explaining a few new things in the next chapter that were left out from this one. As for the name, originally the name was supposed to be Madoc, meaning Luck, however my friends felt the need to tell me that sounded ridiculous and name him Maverick as it sounded better. As for how a god died, it's explained that the gods live in human forms and are reincarnated at the moment of their death, though I may not have explained that very well, I apologize. Thanks again, bud.



kevin25a says...


I must have missed that part, I suppose that would make sense if they use a mortal body. Isn't madoc a marvel villain, or is that something else? As for maverick, it doesn't sound like a person too me, but that's just my opinion. Mostly because it's what I smoked when I was a smoker, plus a roller coaster at ceader point, and a type of horse. So a person named that just sounds odd to me, that said I have known a person with that name.



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216 Reviews


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Reviews: 216

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Sun Apr 19, 2015 12:45 pm
kevin25a says...



God of probability, that's a new one. I doubt anyone would have used it before. I really liked this story, I saw no problems with it personally, or areas I thought needed to improve. I definitely look forward to all your chapters to come. I did want to point out you named him after a horse, and a type of cigarette, plus a roller coaster. Great choice of name too. As for Kagari, a Japanese style home would be normal, the name itself is Japanese. I also spotted a couple things that show signs of being an anime fan. The road of houses for God's lasting forever seems unlikely but not really a problem. I do think you should explain how a God of death died, or how any God would, but it's not a problem either way.

Anyway good job, I really loved the story and look forward to your next chapters.





Words are pale shadows of forgotten names. As names have power, words have power. Words can light fires in the minds of men. Words can wring tears from the hardest hearts.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind