Ellipse had just flushed the toilet when the announcement came, loud and calm and tame, despite the subject matter.
Pff now I'm thinking about last night (buttfly is the best Pokemon name).
Grammar and spelling stuff first:
fast-walking to keep up
I'm more familiar with speed-walking?
Other stuff:
Pfff I know I shouldn't try to make all of my reviews so long, especially as these last few chapters are pretty short. Still, I'd like to see how much I can cover. And yep, this is a good chapter! Ellipse being confident and petty is reassuring; she's shed the layers of suspicion, weariness, and hatred that have hung around her during her time in Andra-Media. The guard's anxiety is hilarious, particularly as Ellipse points out their low on the pecking order, as is Penelope's fake happiness. I think it's a bit worse than Ellipse imagines, actually - Penelope is treating Ellipse like a child, but there's still that undercurrent of general contempt that distinguishes the lady in white. She's likely seething, since there's little doubt in her mind that Ellipse will be able to make a case that could ruin Andra-Media's standing. The comment that Ellipse is a performer and "wouldn't know" about the rights violations, meanwhile, contributes to the impression that Penelope is trying to save her own skin at the last minute. Not as though it's going to work, but she really doesn't have much of an choice at this point. I'm guessing Penelope is at the heart of Andra-Media's abuses.
I do have to agree with Bisc and Blue that there isn't much tension here. The Bellevue's arrives, Ellipse meets the psychologist with only one or two cutting remarks from the lady in white, and then she makes her way onto the ship. Overall, Ellipse has revealed her horrible situation, caught the attention of the UN, and will likely win the subsequent court battle. At the same time, maybe's that for the best? I consider these last few chapters (71-74) like a final chapter or an epilogue. There ought to be some moments to encapsulate the victory of the protagonists, and maybe one or two last-minute twists to keep us on our toes. And, actually, there is one here: the reference to stock exchange manipulation. I'm almost certain the UN is going to find out about Andra's insider trading - it's not exactly subtle - so it seems likely that Ellipse will be indirectly responsible for their being arrested. How will Ellipse handle that? I can't imagine she'll be very happy, especially since it gets in the way of what would otherwise be a completely fulfilling moment for her. Ergh, but Andra did do hurt the lives of a lot of innocent people, even if accidentally, and it wouldn't be right if they just walked away scot-free. So yeah, I'm interested in seeing how that turns out.
And that's about it! I enjoyed reading this chapter from start to finish. The descriptions of the Bellevue had to be my favorite part, since they brought back a million flashbacks to the last site I visited and stuff I wrote on there. All in all, great job!
Points: 24185
Reviews: 299
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