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Young Writers Society



Conics Unfortunately: 63

by Ventomology


Crane opened the door wide and pinned Ellipse with expectant, too-human eyes. It was disconcerting. Gato had circular pupils, a trait which, out of all the space-faring species, only they shared with earthlings. He tilted his head, gesturing for Ellipse to enter, and so she did.

Tejal’s family occupied a suite very similar to the Conics crew’s; the only differences were that the plan was flipped, and the furniture had not been rearranged to surround the coffee table. The subdued color scheme, made of light greys and navy blues, remained.

Focci twisted to look at her when Ellipse stepped through the door. He was sprawled on the ground near an unmade, pulled-out sofa bed, and was typing into a keyboard hooked up to Tejal’s tablet. “Ah, hello again,” he chirped. “Decided to hang out with us?”

“Something like that,” Ellipse sang back. She stepped cautiously and switched into English, unsure if Tejal’s parents could understand Trade Siren. “I would like to ask you all for help.”

Tejal had apparently been in the process of climbing onto the pull-out, but he stopped, still hanging off the arm of the sofa, and quirked an eyebrow. “With what?”

“Oh, well the first bit is for your parents.” She turned to see Crane and Shell settling on the floor near the boys, curled up together like a yin-yang. They both looked at her, gazes steady, and Ellipse felt Tejal and Focci’s equally steady stares prickle along the back of her neck.

She gulped. “Uh, well. I need you to… turn me in.”

Tejal fell off the sofa. “What?!”

“I was not finished-

“I know none of us have said anything, but you’re never going back to Andra-Media, Ellipse! It’s obvious something bad was happening.”

Ellipse felt awkward being the only person standing in the suite. She flung her arms in Focci’s direction and bulged her eyes. “You two need money! The bounty is-

“Two million USD,” Tejal finished. “We know.”

Gills drooping, Focci glanced at the tablet screen and curled his tail in. “You should not have to sacrifice your own well-being for us, Ellipse.”

“I am making an educated choice to sacrifice my well-being for you,” Ellipse spat. She crossed her arms and tried to lift her chin and ignored the way her voice turned breathy and pitchy. “I have to go back, anyways. I have to settle things there, and to do that, I need what you two can make with two million dollars.”

Tejal squinted at her, and then looked away when his parents growled something. “Shell says you should sit and start from the beginning.”

With a short huff, Ellipse dropped to the ground and sprawled her legs out on the carpet. “Do you want the start of my plan or the start of everything?”

The white gato offered a deep, soothing purr, which Tejal translated as “whatever you’re comfortable telling us.”

Ellipse thought for a moment and stretched forward. Everyone in the room knew the surface details already; it could not hurt to fill in the rest. She took a deep breath and stared at a spot of carpet between her feet.

“I was Elliott Bei.”

Everyone in the room probably knew that already, but they kept their thoughts to themselves.

“I… there was a lot going on before Andra even left to be famous. It happens to a lot of kids born on Titan. Our parents went into debt to get into space and could never get out, especially not after we came along. And you know how some parents think their kids owe them for giving birth. It was like that. The scouts offered money in exchange for guardianship of Andra and came back a year later for me.”

Ellipse wrapped her fingers around her ankles and hunched her shoulders, not ready to look around yet. The comforting gazes felt like a wool blanket in the tropics. “I wrote the songs, after the first album. Every single hit that managed to sell in Siren markets was mine. They put me on light shows after I picked up the specifus and hydrogen floater languages. Now that I am out here, I know I did a lot, but at the time it was just slipped in with homeschooling curriculum. I thought everyone did it.”

Something swished along the carpet, probably Tejal scooting towards her.

“I liked it, actually,” Ellipse said. She furrowed her brow and tried to stop blinking. “But Andra did not want me to be part of this… thing. They never liked how we were forced into it. I was put with a physical trainer and dietician at thirteen, and that is when things got worse. I saw less and less of Andra, because they were on tour more, and I wrote more, and I was always hungry. When I did see Andra, they felt distant. And then Independent Titan destroyed the citizen databases.”

“That is when you were sent away,” Focci concluded, snout smooth and whiskers flopping pensively. “You told me about this part.”

Ellipse’s blinking turned wet. “Yeah. I told you part of it.” She bit her lip and took in a few short breaths. “I had no idea what was going on. I just knew that there was a bombing somewhere, and Andra and I were in a safety drill because of it, and then they locked me into a ship, and I wound up at the papers office on the Titan satellite. I had a note Andra gave me with the name Ellie Tibot and a few instructions on it, and I did not know what to do, so I followed the instructions.”

“We found you a year after that,” Tejal said, suddenly at Ellipse’s side. He tilted his head to give her a soft, questioning look, and Ellipse tried not to meet his eyes. “Did anything happen in the meantime?”

Ellipse shrugged. “I worked? It sucked. Suddenly I was someone else, and I watched, sort of, while Andra made new plans for us to reunite, but I was always thinking that if I messed up, then Andra would not want to see me again. So when you and your parents found me, Tejal, I freaked out and followed Focci onto the Conics.”

Gills wriggling, Focci wrinkled his snout and shuffled towards Ellipse. “And now you want to go back? You remember what I told you, right? There is more than one person in the universe-

“Capable of loving me, I know,” Ellipse finished. A fat, thick tear rolled down one cheek, and she closed her eyes, trying to will the water back into her tear ducts. “I know that, Focci,” she sang. “I know because you and Tejal love me. And I love you back.”

Tejal launched himself forward, hands clenching in Ellipse’s shirt, and her eyes shot open to stare straight at him.

“Then stay with us!” he demanded. Ellipse thought his cheeks might be wet too. “Stay! We’ll work it all out together, and-

No, Tejal. I have to go back to Andra-Media.” She set her hands on his shoulders and pulled her face into pleading anguish. “I am giving you two million dollars. It is final.”

Suddenly Focci was on her too, his tail curling around both earthlings in a last-ditch effort to keep the three of them together. “No no no. You admitted it!”

“And I have things to settle!” Ellipse hissed. “I have to confront Andra about leaving me alone, and I have to reclaim everything I loved doing before all of this, and then I will need your invention to help me get back out safely.”

In the low lamp light, Ellipse could see wet streaks on Tejal’s cheek. The sleeve of her shirt had water stains. He laughed, breathy and disbelieving, and dug his fingers further into her clothes. “How the heck is a pinpoint fold generator going to bring you back to us?”

Ellipse’s cheeks remained damp, but her eyes dried immediately. “You wanted a network of pinpoint fold generators, right?”

The boys nodded, still uncertain.

“You are going to build one, and you are going to make my story go viral. All across the universe, all at once.”

Focci’s gills straightened out. “A combination of celebrity scandal and technological innovation? I can see that.”

“Ohhh,” Tejal said. His grip loosened, and his thinking face returned. “I don’t like it, but I get it. We could do it. We could even code a virus to force the spread.”

“I would code that,” Focci sang, after the translation rang out from the tablet. “I still do not like this plan though. We will have conditions.”

“You have to stay in touch,” Tejal insisted, leaning back in.

Focci curled his tail tighter. “We left a prototype near Titan, so you have no excuses.”

“And if you’re in trouble, you tell us, okay? So we can help.”

“Even if you are just lonely, tell us,” Focci added.

With a quick, bittersweet chuckle, Tejal wrapped the three of them into a group hug. “You don’t have to be alone again. We’re your friends, no matter how far apart we travel.”

Ellipse decided that as soon as all this business was done with, she would take advantage of every group hug opportunity that presented itself. Tejal’s grip around her shoulders settled like a warm blanket, and the weight of Focci’s tail around her waist felt like being picked up and held. Her friends were all at once safe and exciting, and Ellipse vaguely wondered how she had survived that year on the fold monitor without them.

They were interrupted by a loud meow from the couch. Tejal squeezed tighter as he looked over his shoulder at his parents and scowled. “We were having a moment.”

Crane—or Ellipse assumed it was Crane—let out a series of loud rumbles, and Tejal’s cheeks flushed, red tingeing his tan cheeks.

“Crane says this is all nice, but we should probably figure out a solid plan before tomorrow.”

Gills fluttering and tickling at Ellipse’s neck, Focci curled his tail in even further. “We deserve at least another minute of hugging.”


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Sun May 27, 2018 7:22 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



Almost there...

Nit-picks and nice moments:

And then Independent Titan destroyed the citizen databases.

I'm not one hundred per cent sure if I don't understand the implication of this or if I've just forgotten.

Ellipse decided that as soon as all this business was done with, she would take advantage of every group hug opportunity that presented itself.

Oh my god that is such a sweet sentence <3

Crane—or Ellipse assumed it was Crane

Why would she assume that?

Overall:

I think this may be my favourite chapter I've read today! Oh my god this was so emotional and sweet and perfectly timed. There were, I think, only two issues with it, the second of which is very minor.

The first is that I don't really understand the exact impact of the plan. Like, how would causing such a big storm get her out of Andra-Media? Wouldn't this just lead to her freedom being restricted more, or perhaps something even more sinister? Why would this scandal specifically be the thing that caused them to not only cast her aside but do so in a civil enough way that she manages to make it back and find the boys. Similarly, are Andra-Media going to allow her to keep in contact with the boys? It feels kinda like they would closely monitor her and not allow such friendly things.

The second thing (the minor thing) is that I feel like the ending is maybe meant to be a joke, but it's just sort of stating the obvious? I think maybe Focci should snort or huff or something and say something like "One more minute, at least."

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)




Ventomology says...


Truly, I do not bring up Independent Titan enough. Information pacing is so hard ugh.



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Sun May 13, 2018 8:29 pm
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



She gulped. “Uh, well. I need you to… turn me in.”


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

my feels. ;-;

Alright, so there's no grammar or spelling issues to speak of, which means I can focus on the amazing plot. And yes, it is amazing. I remember something that you said a while ago - we'd already know most of Ellipse's story by this point. That's true; there's nothing particularly new here concerning Ellipse's background, since all of it has been discussed or referenced beforehand. However, the chapter succeeds not because it provides some new hint towards Ellipse's past, but because she directly states the chronology of her life. The audience can see every detail in one place, which does wonders in explaining things like how Ellipse's childhood got progressively worse, what she remembers of when Andra pushed her away, and why she hasn't practiced her musical skills in a long time. That provides some effective justification for Ellipse's plan - which she spells out - for both the audience and the other characters. She's sick of hiding and she wants closure for all the suffering and isolation that she's been forced into, and now she has the means to make her life better and escape Andra-Media's wrath. I'm amused that my prediction, where she'd flip off Andra and work with Andra-Media, was more correct than I thought it would be. And also intensely sad, because this puts all the future chapters in a new light. Rather than being captured and going through a lengthy trial, Ellipse is sacrificing herself to get the nerds two million dollars of bounty money in the hopes that they'll use a combination of pinpoint generators and a virus to make a media spectacle. It's a risky plan, and it will separate them for some time, but also brilliant. I'd say it looks likely they'll succeed; I doubt even Andra-Media, powerful as they are, can outlast a scandal like this.

Still though, daaaang do you turn the feels to full blast. Even in noting how Ellipse and Andra's parents were desperate and drowning in debt, thanks to their misfortune. I still have little sympathy for Ellipse's parents, of course - they basically sold their children into slavery - but it's a nice touch. Beyond that, there's something heartbreaking and beautiful in how Ellipse spends most of the chapter convincing the nerds to go along with her plan. They're such close friends that the idea she would surrender herself to Andra-Media is more than they can handle (for very good reason), no matter how useful the two million dollars would be. It's a heck of a lot of character development compared to Tejal and Focci's first appearances, and I'm so happy to see just how sturdy their friendship is. It takes her outlining her whole life story and plan before she sways the nerds to her side, but they still promise to keep in touch as much as possible. And, of course, there's the hugs. These three are the cutest. ;-;

Other than that, there's not much else to say. You create a bittersweet chapter with solid pacing, particularly concerning Ellipse's exposition bombs. Every character gets a moment, you still manage to find the space to insert worldbuilding (gato eyes and all the translating going on), and your use of words like "breathy," combined with references to tears, builds a resounding emotional picture. Since I cried at least one point, you definitely got your message across - well done! I look forward to seeing how the plan is carried out in the final chapters!




Ventomology says...


HECK YEA!!!!



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Mon May 07, 2018 4:35 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Wow, so I have to say, when we got that courtroom scene from...Tejal? Focci? Someone-other-than-Ellipse's perspective a while back, I did not foresee that it was happening because she gave herself up as part of the Master Plan! I was waiting for her to get captured by some bounty hunter, but this is really far more heartbreaking. It definitely explains why she so disliked the plan after meeting with that woman a couple chapters ago.

Honestly this is better anyway. Not only is it exciting and dramatic and past-finally-catching up to her, but it's also going to further Tejal and Focci's project. It really ties the two main plot points together nicely.

Gosh, remember back when we met Focci and he was throwing up in a bathroom?

I feel lame for just talking about stuff I like in this review, but also I like actually having Ellipse tell us herself what happened. Like we already knew this stuff from the chapter where she met that woman and was thinking about it (I think she just thought about it), but it was good to hear her finally telling the boys all about it. Plus your dialogue and narration are well-balanced.




Ventomology says...


Gosh I'm so glad I chose to have Ellipse direct her own narrative now. I was worried it wouldn't work out well. Thanks so much!




Writing is my soul made tangible on paper.
— bluewaterlily