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Young Writers Society



Conics Unfortunately: 40

by Ventomology


The tubai flew back, knocking against the countertop on the other side of the aisle with a loud crack. Ellipse burst from the stall doorway and thanked herself for wearing boots all the time. She would probably slip on the tiles trying to run around in any other shoes.

She made it all of four steps before burning, porcelain fingers wrapped around her wrist and tugged her backwards. Thrown off balance, Ellipse barely managed to bend forward so her butt hit the floor first.

“Ow,” she bit out. Out of habit, she checked her trumpet for damage first, and then realized that this was probably not the time to be worrying about a hunk of curly brass tubes.

A steel-toed boot stepped in front of her path, and Ellipse looked up to see the man, still swinging one of his empty handcuffs.

“You know running makes you seem guilty, right?” the man said. His voice was too smooth. He sounded the way Ellipse felt when she was eating hard candy and swallowed too soon. Suddenly, she missed the way Tejal’s voice had broke when they first met. It had been far less intimidating.

“I have a life,” Ellipse spat, “and as certain as I am that I could turn this into a kidnapping case, I would rather not lose five months of work.”

The tubai gripping her wrist stepped forward, and Ellipse winced at the way her shoulder twisted. The man came in close, kneeling to get a better look at her face, and Ellipse wondered if she could get a decent chomp on his nose. He reached out, took her chin in one hand, and swung her face to one side.

“Similar eye shape,” he mused, “though you would have to ask a gato to be sure.” The man tilted her chin up next, and Ellipse’s eyeballs ached from trying to glare at him from the corners of her eyes. “It would be interesting to see you with the old haircut.”

Clearly glaring was not enough. Ellipse stilled in the tubai’s grasp and allowed herself to sink, forcing the man to bend over further to continue examining her. Slowly, she twisted sideways, until her hips were perpendicular to the ground and her arm no longer felt like it might pop out of its socket. She clutched her trumpet close to her chest and waited.

“I have to wonder though, why your jaw is so different. I heard rumors that Andra’s birth gen-

Ellipse swung her leg out and caught the man’s ankle. He toppled, dragging her face with him, and she yelped when the tubai twisted her arm in retaliation.

“Stop that,” the other tubai ordered, squatting to help up the earthling. Ellipse jerked forward to try and escape while her opponents were down, but her aching shoulder kept her in place.

Surely she could get out of this. Ellipse kicked out again, and her heel struck the tubai’s side. She managed to make them tip sideways, but the tubai’s only reaction was to take hold of her foot. Heck. Now, unless she dropped the trumpet, she was down to one limb.

Gritting her teeth, Ellipse watched as the man began to stand, and decided that planning out her moves was worthless. She set her trumpet on the ground, slid it towards the door, and thrashed. Somewhere in the tangle of arms and legs, she managed to snag a deep breath, and then she screamed too, as high and loud as she could.

The earthling man reached up to cover his ears, and the tubai holding Ellipse’s leg loosened their grip. Immediately, she pulled her feet to the ground. The moment she had a semblance of footing, she threw herself forward and up, and the tubai holding her arm jerked off balance. Two steps later, Ellipse had shaken them off, and she raced for the exit. As she pushed through the door, she swooped down and picked up her trumpet, almost as an afterthought.

She burst into the main hallway like a bullet, legs pounding so hard on the glass floor that Ellipse had a fleeting thought about falling into the vacuum of space. With her free hand, she shoved passersby out of her way, and every time she called out a ‘sorry’ over her shoulder, she checked for the bounty hunters. The day-tubai she could spot easily; their white, skeletal figures stood out among the crowds of night-tubai, and their height put them above pretty much every other species around. The earthling she had a little more trouble finding.

Ellipse passed back into the shipping sector and searched for a place to lay low. She only had so much endurance, and the bounty hunters could probably outlast her.

Up ahead, a line of steel-blue crates slid off the central conveyor belt. Colorful saur pushed the crates away, towards a ship about the size of the Conics, and their multicolored swarms made it difficult to pinpoint anything happening right behind them.

As she passed the saur, she swerved left and jumped, landing smack in the middle of the conveyor belt heading in the opposite direction. She looked around to see if anyone was watching, and then leapt to the belt rolling in her original direction and ducked behind a crate. Tentatively, she poked her head above the top of the box and searched the hall for the bounty hunters.

The two tubai tromped towards her through a forest of hydrogen floaters, all of whom flashed in indignation as the bounty hunters pushed them out of the way. The earthling was close behind them, fists tight around the chain of those handcuffs. His face was red with anger, and he kept jumping up and down, trying to see what his partners could.

Ellipse crawled off the conveyor belt and crept alongside her hiding crate. A crew of half-wilted specifus shot her odd looks, but she ignored them and threw another glance over her shoulder. The tubai were closer now, and the man had disappeared into the chaos.

She passed the Conics’s dock about a hundred meters later and sighed in relief when she saw the loading door rolled all the way to the floor. The side door where Focci had kicked her out was still shut, but hopefully enough time had passed that he would let her back in.

To throw off her pursuers, Ellipse kept walking, past three more docks, until she came across a particularly busy section of the hallway. Other earthlings unloaded racks of fabric from a ship called the Mingzhu, and Ellipse made a wide, twisting U-turn by attempting to blend in with the workers. To a day-tubai, she might not look much different from other black-haired earthlings.

Once she had turned around, she craned her neck to see across the hall again. She could not see the tubai now; whether they had given up or outsmarted her, Ellipse had no idea. Still, if she could not see them, the bounty hunters probably could not see her, so she matched pace with a pair of Avians scurrying down the hall and headed back for her ship.

Only, as she slowed down to stop in front of her door, she noticed the earthling man. He stood with his back against the side door, still fidgeting with the handcuffs, and one of the tubai stood at his side, scanning the surroundings for earthling girls holding trumpets. Ellipse gulped down a gasp and pressed herself against the wall.

She could send a message to the boys. They could probably help her, corroborate her story of being plain old Captain Tibot. Taking a deep breath, she looked the other way, towards the earthling ship, and noticed a tall, white figure stalking her way. Hopefully that was not one of the hunters, but Ellipse was not about to take any chances. She brought up her watch and called Tejal’s tablet.

He answered five rings later with a long, suffering sigh. “What’s wrong?”

“Bounty hunters,” Ellipse hissed, “right outside the side door to our dock. I do not know how—no, why—they are there, but-

Tejal’s breath picked up, and he grumbled a very bad word. “You should honestly get a pixie cut or something. You’d never look like Elliott Bei then.”

“Are you going to help me or not?” Ellipse looked out at the hall again and decided that the tubai out by the other earthlings really was after her.

“Hold up. I told Focci. He’s going to open the door in thirty seconds.”

“What?” Ellipse said. “What does that mean? What do I-

“Just play along,” Tejal said. Then he hung up, and Ellipse snarled at the ‘end call’ text on her watch screen.

She made a beeline for the dock and reached the door just as Focci flung it open. The earthling bounty hunter stumbled forward, and he would have taken a few more steps had his tubai partner not held him back.

“Why are you lurking outside my dock?” Focci asked, his voice dark with anger. If Ellipse did not know better, she might have mistaken the new timbre for a drop in octaves.

The day-tubai took a lurching step towards the door. “We are looking for Elliott Bei and believe she is hiding as Ellie Tibot, the captain of your ship.”

“Preposterous,” Focci replied. “We have a bounty hunter in our crew. If Ellipse was secretly a criminal, she would be in jail by now.”

“Maybe your bounty hunter is bad at their job,” the man sang back.

“He is quite competent,” Focci retorted. “You know the crew that brought in the first Independent Titan attackers?”

The man paled, and the day-tubai turned a little purple.

“Mm, that is what I thought. Now, if you would just let my captain past?” Focci shook his gills pompously. “She is standing right behind you both.”

Ellipse tried not to let her smile go wonky when the bounty hunters turned to look at her, but she had a hunch she failed. Her eyebrows felt tight.

The earthling frowned, still suspicious, but gestured for her to walk forward. The day-tubai looked like they might do the same, but as soon as Ellipse passed by, they grabbed her.

“I know what I smell,” they said, clacking their pincers. “You can only pretend for so long.” And then the tubai tossed her through the door.

Ellipse landed on her knees, and she saw in the corner of her eyes when her territory passport landed by her feet. She did not look as Focci bid the hunters goodbye and slammed the door shut. Instead, she stared at the floor until the Tejal’s wheels came into view and Focci’s wide, fin-like hand wrapped around her shoulders.

“Thanks Focci,” she sang, thought it sounded more like a croak. “Thanks Tejal.”

“No problem,” Tejal said. “We should probably get going though. Can’t have those bounty hunters trying anything else.”

Focci said nothing. He just gave Ellipse one more pat on the back and began flopping towards the ship.


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Sat Dec 30, 2017 9:28 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



After a brief interlude, I return!

Nit-picks:

“I have a life,” Ellipse spat, “and as certain as I am that I could turn this into a kidnapping case, I would rather not lose five months of work.”

I'm not entirely sure what she means by that.

“I have to wonder though, why your jaw is so different. I heard rumors that Andra’s birth gen-

The thing about speech marks at the end of the sentence even when the character gets cut off again.

She set her trumpet on the ground, slid it towards the door, and thrashed. Somewhere in the tangle of arms and legs, she managed to snag a deep breath, and then she screamed too, as high and loud as she could.

I feel like it might be more of a payoff if she used the trumpet she'd refused to let go of to make a horrible screeching sound instead of screaming.

The side door where Focci had kicked her out was still shut, but hopefully enough time had passed that he would let her back in.

Again, was it really that big a deal?

Overall:

Okay, what on Titan is going on with Focci? He's slamming doors, he's being cold... Up til now he's been so... easy-going. I am very intrigued to find out what is going on here, especially with that line at the end. Is Focci beginning to suspect her of something? When did that start? I'm not sure if I saw this foreshadowed actually, but then again I am a little fuzzy on my memory of the chapters I reviewed ages ago. I'm gonna monitor Focci, I think, and see where this change goes...

The chase scene here was good. Gave us the directions of where she was going without overloading us with just factual information. You also made good use of the biological differences between species, ie that the day-tubai was not convinced because for them their sense of smell is highly important in perception of the world, so good job there.

I think that's all I have to say on this chapter so I'll see you soon at the next one,
Biscuits :)




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Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:25 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



~rises from the dead~
~okay, actually just from the sick~
~still sick but slightly more up for reviewing~

Suddenly, she missed the way Tejal’s voice had broke when they first met. It had been far less intimidating.


So first of all I really love this - this is a nice development of the relationship between Ellipse and Tejal, where we see her missing him. But it's something specific; not just "she missed Tejal" but she missed "the way Tejal's voice had broke when they first met." And then you also tie it to what's going on in the story right now, so she probably doesn't even realize that she's warming up to him; she just misses him as a bounty hunter, because he's less intimidating than this bounty hunter.

I'm sort of wondering if Tejal, as a bounty hunter, would know about day-tubai's sense of smell. If so, I have to imagine he's going to be suspicious - maybe Ellipse convinced him she wasn't Elliot Bei back when they met, but other bounty hunters are now making the same connection he and his parents did, and day-tubai seem like it's going to be harder to fool their sense of smell than a normal bounty hunter's brain. But if he does suspect, is he going to be angry that she's lied to him all along/that he's bought it, or is he going to wrestle with himself because they're friends now (sort of) and decide he wants to protect her from being caught?

I'm hoping to see some of that tension either way in an upcoming chapter, since this one ended without it (because they were too busy escaping). I'm also looking forward to future skirmishes with these or other bounty hunters.

Sorry I took so long to get to this.




Ventomology says...


No worries! Being sick isn't very fun.

And I really want to respond to your comments, but no spoilers. Sorry!

Thanks so much!



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Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:32 pm
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



Tejal’s breath picked up, and he grumbled a very bad word. “You should honestly get a pixie cut or something. You’d never look like Elliott Bei then.”


The man tilted her chin up next, and Ellipse’s eyeballs ached from trying to glare at him from the corners of her eyes. “It would be interesting to see you with the old haircut.”


I have some bad news for you, Tejal. :P

And yay, fight scene! Towards the middle, given the comparative strength of the three bounty hunters, I assumed that Ellipse was going to stop and manage to talk her way out of the situation. Having her fight off the attackers was a well-executed twist, particularly since it seems she managed to surprise them enough to slip away. Honestly though, it feels like they sorely underestimated her. I don't doubt she's more competent at fighting than she thinks she is, but the trio certainly could've outmatched her if they weren't so focused on trying to validate her identity. I mean, as bounty hunters, that's basically the whole point of their job; still, they would've been so much better off if they made sure to incapacitate her first and then made sure they had the right target afterwards. In any case, after this incident, I doubt they'll underestimate her again. The day-tubai feels certain that Ellipse is Elliot Bei, and that can be used as evidence in court. Ellipse is going to need to reinvent herself before the bounty hunters presumably come back with a court order and bigger guns. Based on the future parts of the story, it appears that she succeeds, but I'm intensely curious to see how she does it.

Huh, I always thought Tejal would be the first one to be openly suspicious of her. Based on the way that Focci doesn't seem to want to talk to her at the end, I have a feeling he's getting tired/frustrated of all of these incidents (it's also at this point I want to mention that he calls her Ellipse when the bounty hunters ask for an Ellie Tibot, which the bounty hunters have to find at least somewhat suspicious). It's understandable, of course, particularly since it heaps another worry on his plate (on top of dealing with the arrested members of the crew and his efforts making the miniature fold generator). Hence, I expect the rift between Ellipse and rest of the crew to widen ever so slightly, at least until Ellipse can either come up with a good enough excuse or start shedding the layers of her disguise. Given how well she's cultivated the latter, and how much she understands the risks of keeping her false identities intact, that may be a challenge. In any case, I like the mentioning of Independent Titan, and I'm wondering if the real crew that brought the first attackers in will serve some greater role in the story.

Beyond all that, what a splendid chapter! The pacing is smooth, I love the sense of suspense that you cultivate in Ellipse's attempts to hide, and the investigations of the bounty hunters are suitably creepy. Ellipse has ever more obstacles in her path, thanks to general suspicion, and I'm looking forward to seeing how she overcomes them. Well done!




Ventomology says...


Haha the crew that Focci mentioned is in fact, Tejal's adoptive parents. I should probably clear that up when they show up again.

Thanks as always! I think things will only pick up from here, so I expect you to enjoy the later like, 3/7 of this giant space mess.



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Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:33 pm
BluesClues says...



~poke me, I read it but I'm not up to reviewing right now~





"Honestly, I think the world is going to end bloody. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't fight. We do have choices."
— Dean Winchester