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Young Writers Society



Conics Unfortunately: 21

by Ventomology


Ellipse and Tejal huddled around the tiny monitor hooked up to the ship’s mainframe, trying to ignore Focci’s frantic and very distracting flopping noises. They had just landed at the Triune system fold monitor, where they would be stuck for another five hours before the fold opened to their next destination, and everyone was eager to see what, if any, updates had arrived from the rest of the Ink and Conics’s crews.

“I’m sure Crane and Shell have sent a data package.” Tejal clucked his tongue and upped the tempo of his typing. “But the question is if I can find it. The limitations of light speed are such a hassle.”

“At least you have not been blown to smithereens,” Ellipse said.

That comment earned her a withering glare, and once Mouthbot finished translating into Siren, Focci flopped right up to Ellipse’s back and tackled her.

“That was uncalled for,” Focci complained. “Tejal and I are going to make it work.”

Chances were he just needed an excuse to be annoying. Thanking the stars for her flexibility, Ellipse shrugged and leaned farther forward, as if she had merely been waiting for someone to help her stretch. She straightened her legs and pointed her feet so that her toes prodded both of the computer-lined walls. “Whatever,” she sang. “I certainly would not go about messing with explode-y science.”

“That is not even a word.” Focci wrinkled his nose and pushed himself farther along Ellipse’s back. Propping his head up on top of hers, he waved for Tejal to show him the computer. “If you haven’t found it yet, hurry up. I want to see if Captain Maj sent anything.”

The echo of Mouthbot’s translation ended, and Tejal clucked his tongue and drew the computer closer to himself. “Chill out. I’m almost there.” He typed another series of commands, and then his face brightened, despite already being lit up by the computer screen. “Here it is!”

Ellipse drew her legs in and cozied up to Tejal’s side, ignoring Focci as he flailed on the floor behind her. “Took you long enough. Do you not have a preset emergency data address?” Ellipse had one. She had never used it, and would not be able to if the situation called for it, but at least she had one.

“Stick it, oval-brain.”

Focci curled up around Tejal’s other side and made grabby hands for the keyboard. “You read too slowly. I could have finished by now.”

He could not. Snorting, Ellipse crossed her arms and leaned in to read over Tejal’s shoulder. His parents had sent a few excerpts from a security incident report, plus some gato lawyer’s contact information, should Tejal have further questions and concerns. After that was a short note written in a broad, sweeping font that was probably the gato version of Times New Roman.

“What does it say?” Focci whispered. Mouthbot picked him up anyways.

Rolling her eyes, Ellipse took a breath and tried to recall her siren legal terms. “Basically it says that Tejal’s parents are fine, and that they are safe. The jurisdiction issue will not be settled for a few of Mao’s months, but the actual trial will be short.”

Tejal wrote a few numbers in the air, eyes closed in concentration, and then he handed the keyboard to Focci. “Our crews should be free to come back to us in about nine of Earth’s months and thirteen of Sirena’s.”

Ellipse frowned. “Did you include the actual trial time? If an earthling court takes jurisdiction, that will add at least a month.” The specifus were not known for speedy trials either; their criminal courts were few and far between, and their civil courts were always backlogged with patent lawsuits.

“I’m being hopeful, okay? Besides, I doubt we’ll just drop everything and go get them once everything is over. We’ll just keep going until we get a shipment in the Triune system again.” Tejal craned his neck to watch Focci type, and Ellipse scooted over to join in the spectating, careful to avoid brushing against anything.

True to his word, Focci was quick about retrieving the Conics crew’s message. He had it up within a minute, and he turned the monitor to Ellipse immediately so she could read it aloud for Tejal.

Captain Maj had sent only a note. In braille-like specifus writing, they told Focci to act as he saw fit, but not to accept jobs that could cause foreseeable interference with the specifus agenda. Maj would hear of it from friends if Focci made any poor decisions. The note had no mention of time or the court, but the captain made sure to finish with a reminder that the Conics still belonged to them.

When Ellipse finished, Tejal blinked, unimpressed. “Captain Maj sounds like a jerk.”

“They are not so bad,” Ellipse said, shrugging. “You would not want to help someone who was competing with you to build your little fold machine.”

“I’m literally working with Focci.” Tejal swept his arm out, nearly hitting a bundle of green wires, and gestured at the siren, who looked back blankly.

“ You are working with him. Not helping him beat you.”

Instead of gracefully admitting defeat, Tejal scowled and changed the subject. “I guess we’d better start with unloading,” he grumbled. Then he spun on his bottom and began scooting away.

Ellipse stood, careful to avoid stepping on the keyboard, and walked behind him. “Do you want me to put the ropes down the hatches and open the bay doors? Save you and Focci the trip.”

After a long sigh, Tejal nodded and scooted through the computer room door. Ellipse bounded ahead of him and sang a quick burst of notes to Focci to let him know what she was up to. Then she clambered up the central ladder, pausing halfway up to consider a somewhat rotten aroma from one of the plants tucked in the wall.

Then she remembered that, without Wrecktrix, the ship had no methane breathers. She would have to dedicate part of the layover to reviewing the ship’s wall garden.

Though her two shipmates found navigation infinitely easier without gravity, Ellipse could run the length of the second-floor hallway in seconds. Once she had the ropes, she raced back down, bare feet slapping against the brightly colored plastic floors and turned a little pirouette as she passed Tejal on her way to the cargo bay hatch.

“No need to brag,” Tejal shouted. “Just hurry and let the ropes down.”

From the computer room, Focci sang a reminder to only unload the boxes with ID numbers that started with four. The others were for their stop at the lizard-system fold monitor.

As Ellipse reached up to thread the rope through a hook in the ceiling, she turned to Tejal and quirked her lips. He squinted at the air, baffled by something.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tejal said, waving one hand. He blinked in confusion and then looked up at Ellipse and bit his lip. “What exactly is the lizard system?”

Good question. In Global Gliss, it was just called Lizard System, and the same went for most of the other earthling languages under Ellipse’s belt. She knew the English name had some fun April Fool’s story behind it, but what exactly was Lizard System’s English name?

Ellipse tied the knot for the rope and tugged on it. “It is something kind of related, at least. Saur-something. There was a big fuss after the naming conference six years ago.” She frowned and tugged on the rope harder, before stepping off the floor and hanging, suspended, over the hatch. The knot would probably hold. She jumped back to solid ground, gave a grand bow, and gestured for Tejal to go ahead of her.

“It could be the Saurus System,” Tejal mused. “Using the Latin word for lizard sounds about right.”

“No no, that was what it was supposed to be. But it ended up being something else.” She watched as Tejal lowered himself into the cargo bay, hand-over-hand and slow as molasses in a bottle. When his head at last disappeared behind the tallest stack of crates, Ellipse jumped down after him. “Oh, I think I remember,” she said as she landed.

Tejal looked up from his spot on the rope. “What is it?”

Grinning, Ellipse leapt down and skipped through the rows of crates until she reached the wheelchair, where it sat, still tied to the grate. “It is a silly name. We should not have taken so long to think of it.”

“Cut it out with the suspense, already.”

Ellipse crouched to start picking at the ropes threaded through the wheelchair’s spokes. She giggled to herself as she untied the knots, listening as Tejal shouted comments about rude and condescending adults. By the time he managed to scoot his way through the canyon of crates, Ellipse had freed the wheelchair entirely.

She waited until Tejal was halfway done with climbing up into the seat, and then the next system’s name burst out of her in an avalanche of snickering. “Sauron! It is called the Sauron System!”

Tejal fell out of the chair. Face dark with disbelief and betrayal, he rolled onto his back and gave Ellipse a hard stare. “We struggled for that? Really?” He let out a long, dramatic groan. “That’s so stupid.”

“You know what is even better?” Ellipse asked, offering a hand to help Tejal sit up again.

He narrowed his eyes and took her hand. “What?”

“I believe the people in Sauron call their fold monitor a ring.”


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Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:17 pm
ExOmelas wrote a review...



In possibly the weirdest reason to review anything ever, the show I'm watching is buffering so I'm letting it load til I've finished this :P

everyone was eager to see what, if any, updates had arrived from the rest of the Ink and Conics’s crews.

Yaaaaay! Although "everyone" seems like an odd way to describe three people.

That comment earned her a withering glare, and once Mouthbot finished translating into Siren, Focci flopped right up to Ellipse’s back and tackled her.

I don't really understand the severity.

She had never used it, and would not be able to if the situation called for it, but at least she had one.

Curious to know why not.

Focci curled up around Tejal’s other side and made grabby hands for the keyboard. “You read too slowly. I could have finished by now.”

Wait, Focci can read? Like, what is it like to read siren language?

broad, sweeping font that was probably the gato version of Times New Roman.

Sounds kinda fancy for being similar to Times New Roman

“ You are working with him. Not helping him beat you.”

Random wayward space.

“I believe the people in Sauron call their fold monitor a ring.”

Hehehehehe.

Overall:

Character: There's a pretty good vibe going here. I thinking you've gone back to the more savage side of them ribbing each other, which is good. And I like the way that Ellipse and Tejal are a bit tense over the specifuc situation. Would be good to see if that gets more heated at some point.

The joke at the end is fun, but the fact that they were struggling to think of the name is maybe focussed on a bit too much. It would be funny if the name was ridiculously easy to remember, but that would only work if for some reason this system was a big reminder of Sauron. I guess it could be shaped like a ... ironically like an ellipse... or maybe a ring.

Setting: I guess the setting here is the Sauron system, so I guess my previous comment sort of covers that.

Plot: I'm glad to finally hear about the others, but as you may have guessed I wish it would have been mentioned a little earlier, especially since it's not like they've been under continual high pressure since they left or anything. I also would like to get more of a sense of their reactions to the news that they probably won't see their friends/bosses/parents for a while, rather than that just being information that I now know.

Hope this helps,
Biscuits :)




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Sat Jul 29, 2017 1:07 am
TheSilverFox wrote a review...



Then she remembered that, without Wrecktrix, the ship had no methane breathers.


That seems like a problem. A messy, flammable, gross problem. o-o

On the whole, this chapter answers a few questions solidly. It was nice to get an update on the situation of the rest of the major characters, even if they're basically out of the story for presumably most of it (considering that the chapters don't travel forward all that much chronologically). Of course, I suppose that something could happen in the meantime, like some kind of attack on wherever it is they are stuck, forcing them to escape and find their ships. Or Andra-Media will, for whatever reason (likely something to do with Ellipse, because I'm doubtful she got away scot-free), swoop in and "free" (read: capture/imprison) them, perhaps to coerce Ellipse into making an appearance. And then we might actually see her "older sister" for the first time, and she will not be bae. I'm looking forward to that. :P

Let's see...UGGGH the pun. I will admit that it's sort of clever, given the circumstances, but this is what clearly led to the banning of all literature and movie nerds from earthling naming conferences. It's so perfectly fitting (lizard people, "ring" fold monitors, the human penchant for naming things after characters and concepts from friction) while being so perfectly bad that it captures the essence of all that a pun is. In that case, I do approve, even if my reaction is not unlike Tejal's. Beyond that, the rest of the chapter is par for the course. The setting and level of details are nice, Tejal's making comments on Captain Maj is a neat way to further outline his character (via his opinions of others), and the descriptions of movement work well. Admittedly, I was super tired, and so had a hard time understanding where Ellipse and Tejal were climbing from and what they were doing, but the pieces fit together nicely as I read through them and as my sense of comprehension returned to me.

Save for some slight discomfort on my part, thanks to the description of Focci tackling Ellipse and climbing onto her back (even if due to the fact that she basically took shots at what is increasingly becoming his and Tejal's magnum opus) - which I can attribute to my hilariously stupid head - it was a fantastic chapter to read. Well done!




Ventomology says...


I have neither read nor watched Lord of the Rings.



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Mon Jul 10, 2017 12:40 pm
BluesClues wrote a review...



Heh heh heh heh. Honestly I was so afraid the joke would be some sciencey thing that I wouldn't even understand, but luckily no. (P.S. My prediction was right, I'm totally fine with this. See? You had a reason to bring it up, basically.)

I'm glad we heard more about the situation with Tejal's parents and the Conics crew, but I think it would be good in revisions to add more mention of them in some of the chapters between their arrest and now. I think the chapter after their arrest did mention them, because Ellipse & Co. had to start steering Conics themselves. But since then it's been fold generators and sass.

Which is fine, but Tejal's parents and the Conics crew being imprisoned is kind of important.

I feel like especially for Tejal. Like how well does Ellipse really know the crew? But those are his parents. I think we could stand to see more emotion from him on that point, although I guess his work on the fold generator could actually be him throwing himself into work to avoid feelings.

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Mon Jul 10, 2017 12:53 am
BluesClues says...



*poke me, of course*





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