Published April 22, 2013
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140,589 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
Hi Vanessa,
Since I haven't spoken to you yet I take this opportunity to welcome you to the YWS Community. Now lets head straight towards your brainchild.
Simple yet wonderful, this work of yours left me with a strong emotion - Happiness.
I really like the way of your approach towards the poem - the informal storytelling of yours really left me awed.
I absolutely love the last stanza of yours. The very idea of the comparison of Love with Water is breathtaking. It really added more to the poem. If the cake was the poem, the last stanza was the icing.
Hope to see more from you. Keep writing!
Van, beautiful poem and good rhyming. I also like the comparison with water.
Keep writing!!!
I like your poem. I like the part where you are describing love like the taste of water. That is exactly what it is like. You cannot define what love is. And after years or even weekes without water or love, it is an amazing feeling when it comes your way. This poem is going right into the heart of a relationship, the feeling like you have been drowning but now your lover is pulling you up for air. This is what you are explaining in your poem but in other words. Anyhoo, I loved it and keep up the good work!
I like how you compared describing love to describing water's taste, it was very ingenious. I understand your feelings about people telling you it won't work out, that's what makes this poem a good read, people can relate. The way that you started out this poem "Am I dreaming?" was also good, start with a question and when you make things relate able then it really makes one think. Good job!