Published April 29, 2008
When I had finished my homework ‘Barbie’ still wasn’t home and Carver hadn’t come down. So, I decided to look around on my own. First I went down to the first floor and I would work my way up. Down stairs wasn’t all that exciting, a sitting area is really all it was. The TV was huge though, something my dad would have liked to watch football on. I never really got the concept of football. It’s just a bunch of guys running back and forth on a field after a ball! Where is the enjoyment in that people? Anyway, I started to the second floor where I was in the first place. This floor had the kitchen, dining area, and another sitting area with a fireplace and big bookshelves.
The bookshelves were full of the books I liked to read, things about romance and fantasy. I knew my mom must have had these put in for me because she despises reading. Also my dad must have told her what I like; I’d have to thank him later. I went into the kitchen and looked through tons of drawers and cabinets. I stopped when I found a whole cabinet dedicated to wine, vodka, and various types of liquor. I just stood there staring for a while until I heard the door shut and my mom calling me. I closed the cabinet quietly so she wouldn’t hear.
“I’m up here mom.” Up here looking at your nice alcohol section.
“Oh are you hungry? We could all go get something if you wanted.”
“No I’m fine just looking for the glasses.” Just then Carver came down.
“Top cabinet to the right, you sure you’re not hungry?”
“Oh I am, can we go somewhere?”
“Okay, let me go get my shoes.” This would be the perfect time to ask her about Lewis. I wonder if Carver would ask her about it.
We went into a Chinese restaurant and got our orders taken. I loved Chinese food so I was happy.
“So how was your first day at school?”
“Oh, it was good. I have a lot of cool teachers.”
“Oh really? Like who?” Oh yes I was waiting for her to say this!
“For instance, Mr. Casing.” Ha! The look on her face was hilarious! She dropped her chopsticks. Carver was holding back a laugh.
“Oh is he one of your teachers?”
“Yes, he teaches history, pretty boring. Carver has him too. Everyone thinks he’s funny though. He makes jokes all through class. They are mostly about history so I don’t see how they are that funny, but hey, who am I to question people’s sense of humor?” she just sat there in amazement at what I had said, it was priceless.
“Mom, you okay?”
“Oh, uh yes, I’m okay. So you’re fine with having him for a teacher?”
“Oh yea mom, I’m fine with it.”
“Are you okay with it Carver?”
“Oh yeah mom, I don’t mind.”
“That’s great. Now do you guys want to get out of here and go home?”
“Yea, that would be okay.” She smiled, I have no idea why. She must have been having one of those 'mom moments'.
When we got home I went straight to my room. Carver stayed to talk with mom a little while. I was reading this book called City of Bones. It’s a really long book but it’s good. As I was going to sleep I realized I had never gotten that tour from Alvin.
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Ooh, interesting. I really like this story so far, please continue to post it.
VERY few grammatical errors, good job!
Like I said in the first chapter: If you have more than two people talking, please mention who is saying what. I had to make some guesses a few times, which distracts me from the actual story.
Over all, great job! Your improving!
add more next time. put up another one soon.
Vampy_Girl!
But that's just me...

I frown heavily on the shortness of this chapter! It is way WAY too short for my taste!
Umm, I must comment on a few things:
1) LENGTH!! As I mentioned above, I heavily dislike!
*frowns deeply*
I want to see more of your story!
2) AMOUNT!! There isn't a lot to critique on. This whole scene seems sort of rushed, as though you hurried to finish it. And the ending left me unsatisfied.
But, you still have my attention so I would love for you to PM me when you write more!