Love is like a wild full grown rose.
It's the color of a heart when its swelled to its
maximum capacity of love for its mate.
It's beautiful.
It's red...the color of your blood as its thorns prick you.
You can't help but ignore the pain as it draws more and more.
It's killing you slowly as you listen to its sweet words.
The sound of the wind floating softly through its ripe red petals.
You want to believe it will be okay as you stare into its beauty
and listen to its sirens call.
It's ebbing away at your heart...turning you cold...cruel.
But your stubborn and wont let it.
You still believe it wants to protect you as it envelopes you in
its sweet flowery fragrance.
It starts to hurts worse...your dieing.
With its last call to you it tells you you'll be alright,just let go.
...It's not and you don't.
As you cry body wrenching sobs you drop the rose and walk away...
Like the red red
rose, love must also
wilt away into nothingness.
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Yeah, uh, sorry, but I couldn't finish reading this. Halfway through, I was...shutting down on it. Here are my main problems with it. Note: my comments are in blue, and my edits are in red. I left your original text black.
I hope you don't take offense. You just touched on one of my pet peeves, is all.
I really liked it! It was an interesting way to think of this simple object. Only thing that I would change is grammer. A few of the 'its' needed apostrophes, as did some other words. Other than that, nnice job!
I liked this..
I want to point out, however, that you should probably stick to using black "ink". This makes your work look more professional and worth reading. Also, I see that you have three posts and no reviews. To post something, you really need to follow the rules, and review at least two items first
Other than that, I loved your piece, and the metaphor of a rose was nice touch, however overused. The only things I would work on are spelling, and rhythm.
Good job
-ash