Published April 19, 2011
From time to time
I reoccur,
slipping from my
atmospheric home
back to Earth and moments,
In turn I return
to life
and all its scattered things,
Time did not end with me
the rusty clock ticks on,
Everything is different
Everyone is distant
They have all changed
moved on
leaving their footprints
in my graveyard
their fallen tears
have turned to ice
tiny diamonds
on my tomb,
They don't know
I am around,
they stopped looking
for me
and now the wailing wind
is simply wind
the shadows
are of trees
they never think
they never hope
that that presence is simply
me
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140,252 Literary Works • 673,073 Reviews
Not bad. Not bad at all. Just a few lines I would have corrected but there's no need in mentioning them since the person who posted before me has beat me to it.
So there's nothing left to say but: Great poem and well done!
-Greena
No. No no. Try "Thus I return"
I'm not sure if this runs smoothly either, in my opinion. How about, "And now the wailing wind/ shifts to a gentle breeze" or "is simply a breeze", something to lighten the tone, as you tried to do.
The poem left me confused on its purpose. Was that your intention? Exactly what type of experience is she having here? Is it self-discovery, or something else? Is there any way you could clarify, or am I just reading it wrong? xD
Nice poem, at any rate. Keep writing.
~Panda;;
Hi upile! THanks for uploading such a great poem. It was so beautiful and it was the kind of poem that you simply can't fault it...it was deep and rich and just lovely. Well done, you get a *like* and a *follow* from me!
~ Amelia