Published February 21, 2011
(tell me which ones you like. Little poems from my past, no biggie.hehehehe enjoy!)
You
Sometimes I think of you
of how we used to be
one moment we were forever
but now we're history
Once you made my life complete
it seemed as though
you were the reason my heart beat
where did our love go?
You captured me with your spirit
and held me with your soul
but now you won't hear it
do you think of me at all?
You enthused me with passion
and smothered me with stress
You tangled me with a potion
Then made me such a mess
Where? Where did our love go?
Do you remember our
strolls on the beach,
our swims in the heat?
yes it is true you were
the reason my heart beat
You filled me then left me empty
in just a minute
You were my everything then my
nothing
in the smallest second
Lovedrunk
I really can't describe it
without a blushing face
I hope everyone has felt it
had their heart beat at this pace
I really can't describe it
Its really really funny
first he winked
then turned my bitter world to honey
Its a firey feeling
started by those deep brown eyes
I can never talk to him
though I've had a million tries
Funnyface
The more you made me laugh
The more you made me cry
The more you made me grasp
The more you made me sigh
The more you made me give up
The more you made me try
The more you made me fall
The more you made me fly
The more you made me live
The more you made me die
The more you said hello
The more you said goodbye
Can't say goodbye
Often I have tried and failed
To say goodbye
But to your heart my love is nailed
All I do is cry
I'll try to put my hand up and wave
But you are the only one I craved
Yes I am to your love a slave
This is the path that I have paved
I try to walk away
But you are part of me
So restlessly back I sway
'Goodbye' I try to utter
But surrender to defeat
I know about the other
But still by you I take my seat
I cannot explain my emotion
Obsession or addiction
Or never-ending devotion
Your love is a binding potion
Walking away isn't easy
For my fragile legs trip
Your strange emotions tease me
But why can't I leave
Since no longer for you does
my heart skip
Make Believe
Oh love is something imperceivable
Likely to be fake
Yes its something unbelievable
Something our imaginations make
Yes it is all childish manner
Circulating in infatuation
Marked with trouble's banner
An annoyance, oh what irritation
Love is non-existent
Extinct to some extent
I advise you keep your distance
For it causes damage you can't
comprehend
It is a trickster's game
So don't fall trap
Based on how he whispers
Your name
It's all a bunch of crap!
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Also, "imagination" is a noun that I did not see or heard being used in its plural form, you might want to remove that "s".
The first one is my favourite, definetely.
Pure inspiration! =D
The worst possible thing you could do is criticise love poetry with the labelling of the word "cliche". So much poetry has been written about this emotion that it could be applied to anything, including the great works of Shakespeare's Sonnet 130 which highlights the imperfections of love.
What I adore about this poetry is there's a bit of everything in it for us readers. Everyone goes through teen years at some point and they feel their first emotions of love, uncontrollable to their hormonal spirits. Yet, when we read poetry like yours, we can call it "cliche" but we feel it. Your words carry US 'cause we've been through it too.
People who call things cliche are searching too hard for a uniqueness in heart and love when, essentially, it is a universal feeling that no one understands but we all theorise and speculate in the same "cliche" fashion.
Always be proud of your poetry, regardless of how cliche you are told it is or believe it to be yourself, because somewhere (whether it be in one word, one line or one use of punctuation) there's that tiny little gem that makes your case unique and when someone reads it, they familiarise with all the things you've said but subconciously they also pick up on the subtle changes; changes which make love suddenly feel alien to them but so undeniably truthful to you.
Poetry thus is about individual and here you enhance individuality.
Keep it up,
Ben
hey all. Thank you. These poems are just from my past, I just wanted you to be dazzled by the naivety..A young girl + a crush = a lot of mistakes. If you were inspired, thanks, if you saw the fault then you really have a good eye and if they didn't tickle your fancy, I'm a working progress.
Thanks
xxx Upile xxx
It's pretty good. Do some editing and It'll be great. But remember these are only suggestions
I love these =)
I love to feel emotion from pieces when i read and i got that when i was reading
Awesome job =)
hey,
cliche is in fact the right word for all of them. I was a kid and that is how I expressed poetry, kiddishly. I was as immature as they come. These are from way back, just got to my profile and check out my profolio for a few, tell me what you think. you can also see my blog www.malembo.blogspot.com where I have some of my poems. Or you can email me at upilicious@yahoo.com. It would be great to hear what you think. email me, follow me, whatever.
xx Upile xx
Hey Upile,
When I read all this, there are moments when I want to tell you that some of this is the most cliche poetry I've ever read, but then I realize that I write some poetry that's exactly the same (haha).
"You" might be the only one of these that I really liked. It had a good length and it was just deep enough.
I love this! Simple, yet origional.
Do you still write a lot of poetry? If you like, I can review anything you like, just post on my WRFF thread (it's in my signature below).
Keep up the good work!
-Alex