Published March 25, 2011
La noche
La noche
Dreams,
No, dreams aren't for the satisfied,
those in love with the real,
those not clinging to the paraphernalia of time,
we believe not in the stillness of thought,
but in the beauty of action,
holding, embracing moments as they come
not when it is their time to leave,
to waltz out into memory,
into subconscious.
Never digging through the rubble of the past
looking for the surviving trinkets of time.
La noche,
La noche,
A sky bejewelled
And under it motion!
Yes locomotive nights,
moments fast coming,
fast fading,
you are at fault not to enjoy
it,
not to dance when music plays
loud
roaring!
A lion in your ear,
You have hulled yourself into
a pit dug by your own hands,
where you waste time,
wishing on fairy dust,
hoping to redo, undo, replay
and alter
so you can get a second chance
But time doesn't favour.
My friend,
Time does not pick sides.
Rise and kiss the real,
love the image not its reflection,
embrace the now not its
shadow.
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Canary word: Present
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140,548 Literary Works • 673,420 Reviews
I love this.
This will be a crappy review because I don't really have anything I want to critique here. haha.
I agree with Demeter here. I think there should be a comma between now and not.
Thanks for the awesome read. This was very, very cool.
Beautiful.. how did you come up with the words for this poem?
I could hardly make the words rhyme.
Hi, Upile! Nice to meet you. I'm Demeter.
You know what, I liked this a lot. (And I did some research and found out the "la noche" means night!)
I really don't have that many things that I didn't like/nitpicks to point out, because I enjoyed reading this. One thing I could say, though, is that especially in the first stanza, the punctuation feels slightly superfluous. When you have commas after every line, it creates a rushed mood, like if you were running and panting a lot. It makes me as the reader feel a little uncomfortable. I'd suggest you look over the poem and scratch the commas and other punctuation marks you don't need -- I'm pretty sure you'll find a good deal of them!
This reminded me a little of SOC (stream of consciousness) writing. Well, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure what is meant by that, haha, but I have a feeling that this might qualify as something like it. At least at some points.
I love this:
and this:
and this:
So, well done! Let me know if you'd like me to take a look at your other work, too.
Demeter
x
I really liked this it would have been better If I new what La noche meant though...
But I really like this even though \I don`t know the meaning!