Published March 21, 2011
(all Spanish-speakers bare with me, it was a rough translation. if you see some errors corrections are welcomed. Thank you. Enjoy!)
Kisses under peach trees
hand in hand
on summer grass,
Time passes swiftly by,
unnoticed.
And day turns into night,
without recognition.
But even as night appears
I can still see the sun in
your eyes,
bursting light in your sockets.
Love.
Simple love is the most
intense,
our mouths too busy
to speak
but our hearts chatter.
Connect.
Entwine.
Thoughts are blocked
And I cross from my
bridge of feeling to
yours.
Swiftly
And then I see you.
I see your hoarded
wishes and your
guarded hopes
And you see mine.
'I love you' is simply
another way to say
I know you more than
I know myself,
more than you know
I know you.
And all I know about you
was told to me by your heart.
(in spanish)
Los besos bajo durazneros
Los besos bajo durazneros
entregue mano
en césped de verano
el tiempo pasa rápidamente por,
inadvertido
y el día gira a la noche sin reconocimiento,
pero aún como la noche parece yo todavía
puedo ver el sol en los ojos,
estallar la luz en sus enchufes.
Amor.
El amor sencillo es el más intenso,
las bocas demasiado
ocupadas hablar
Pero fuera corazones parlotea,
Conecte,
Entrelace.
Los pensamientos son bloqueados
y cruzo de mi puente de sentirse a suyo,
rápidamente,
y entonces le veo.
Veo sus deseos acumulados
y sus esperanzas cautelosas
Y usted ve mina
Te quiero sea simplemente
otra manera de decir :
Le conozco más que me sé
más que sabe que sé.
Y todo sé de usted yo fui dicho por su corazón.
"its better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what your not"
— Marilyn Monroe
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I like this poem and the way you translated your poem from English to Spanish. I don't know how to speak/write in Spanish but I still like it. I don't really have much else to say. Keep up the great wrork!
I have a couple nitpicks, not to be a downer, but...you know me.
into quotation marks, since this. But the first part, particularly the first four lines - I feel like this kind of gets away from the style you have at the beginning of the poem. I dunno why exactly, I think maybe "thoughts are blocked" is more telling than showing (or something like that) - it just bugged me.I love the first stanza, although I feel that the many sentence fragments, maybe because they're so short, create a kind of jarring feeling you might want to get rid of. Consider replacing a few periods with commas instead. And then there's the second stanza. It's okay - I think the second half of it is great, actually, although I'd consider putting
But the first stanza is great, and I really like the second half of the second stanza, the " 'I love you is just another way of saying..." part. Good job!
~Blue
I really like this poem, good job on writing it in english and in Spanish even thought I couldn't read it. I like the way you did your stanzas and the way you wrote the words and explaining the details. My favorite part just happens to be:
Good Job