Published February 19, 2011
With the little pieces
of my heart that still beat
with the fragment of my smile
with the tiny drop of life in me
I love you
Though I'm beat down
And I'm low
And my spirit is almost free
I love you
Though my flame of life
flickers
And my light is dim
A love for u
ignites in me
It burns
somewhere within
Where the last of my soul
lays
And as i lay here motionless
Almost gone
Beyond this world
the picture of you
near me
gives me the hope
of a little girl
The sand in my hour glass
has almost poured the last grain
My seconds are numbered
My breaths few
but my life was perfect
because of You
When Heaven formed you
It had me in mind
The angels that carved you
were ever so kind!
They made you for me
And I for you
And when they were done
They had a set of Two
Though I never had wealth
or treasures of the world
I had all I ever wanted
and all I'd ever need
in the sweet knowledge
That you loved me
This shall not be goodbye
coz we are bound to meet
and dance closely
together
in eternity
and fall in love
over and over again
in forever
I'll teach my dying
mind
never to forget
how deeply I feel for you
and how u feel for me
If in this life i loved
You
I'll love you in the next
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
this is a very sweet poem...alredy on the topic im partial too.....I thing i realized through your poem was that "Love never dies". this statement has been spoken over and over again by so many people in such complicated words....but you justified it through short and sweet words....
it is a very nice poem....keep writing...
This is a really beautiful sounding poem. Your personality seeps through like this very passionate person. I can very much tell why writing chose you! You have so much potential, many possibilities, through your writing. There were a few minor flaws of course, but seemingly minor. Something was slightly off with the flow of it but I can't quite seem to place my finger on what it was. I was trying more greatly to focus on the words. To pinpoint your emotion. It was there! My favorite lines were:
Keep up with the writing. You will only grow from here-on!
"When Heaven formed you
It had me in mind
The angels that carved you
were ever so kind!"
This was very sweet, and I enjoyed the poem a lot
It wasn't bad, it had some potential but I do have some isssues witht the overall construction.
I found problems like that throughout the poem, It wasn't the worst I've read, but for me, It was a little cliche. That being said, I did think that the poem had potential, and moreso th poem I could sense that you as a writer have potential.