Published April 20, 2011
Store all your sweetest dreams,
Si Yes Qui
I'd like to,
I'd love to
uproot the fairytale life
I live behind my brown lids
And freeze it in the now
right next to the tub of ice-cream
and the emergency 10,
somewhere between last night's
leftovers
and the half-eaten casserole
until night falls,
sleep plummets into us,
just before sleep drags me down
and pins me to my floral pillow
in my floral-sheeted single
I'd take my block of dreams,
sweet dreams
and let them melt into my mind
Si Yes Qui
Defrosted dreams!
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140,588 Literary Works • 673,542 Reviews
I like the fantasy feel of this poem, I can't find anything wrong with it, really.
Hey there, Upile!!
So, I’m going to have to say right now that this is pretty awesome as far as idea goes! I mean, you see plenty of poems about dreams but it’s not often that you see poems about food and dreams, at least with all of the food-based imagery that you used.
The one thing I don’t really understand is the use of the line “Si Yes Que” twice. I mean, I understand that they are words, obviously, but regarding their relevance to the poem. I guess I just don’t get it.
Overall, though, I love the freeform flow of it. Free form has such a wonderful very powerful voice if used right, especially when you’re dealing with poems like dream-themed poems because dreams can be so very erratic and you can’t capture that crazy, chaos, with a strictly formed poetic structure so I definitely have to commend you on your choice to use free from.
If you have any questions, or if you want to explain that “Si Yes Que” decision, just leave me a wall note thingie mabobber!
I honestly didn't see anything wrong with this poem whatsoever so good job!!! Keep up the good work I could feel the emotion in this which makes it easy to see a picture and sets the mood to the poem. Good luck I hope you receive many helpful reviews. Keep up the good work and Happy Writing!!!!
Soulkana<3