Shades of Blue

Hi, this is just something I'm working on and its the first draft. This is the first thing I've posted here but I'd just really like to know what you think of it and anything that can be improved. This is the prologue and the first chapter.

1. Dream Catch Me.

“...so I told that Sophie that if she thought she was gettin’ anywhere near Jim she had another bloody thing comin’...I know, right! The bloody cheek of her! And you know what, the other day I heard Pam telling Susie that she saw Bill with Laura down at the Bakers’ Arms an’ they apparently had some big blow up ‘cause Bill was a being “friendly” with the barmaid...Yeah, the chubby one...You know! With the tacky, dyed red hair...what’s her name...Oh yeah it’s - ”

Nadia never did learn what the name of the chubby, redheaded barmaid was. Instead, she pressed the volume button on her mp3 player until it wouldn’t go up anymore. She didn’t care if she got tinnitus; she wasn’t bothered by the thought of permanent hearing damage by that point and if being deaf was the price for not listening the Tango hued girl with the heavy Essex accent who was sitting next to her on the bus and shouting into her phone as if she wanted the whole of London to hear (she probably did), then that was absolutely fine with her – she just felt sorry for the person on the other end.

Nirvana, blasting out of the earphones hardly did anything to lessen what was turning out to be a killer headache, and it was hardly what you could call uplifting but at least she didn’t feel like throwing herself out of the bus anymore. Now she just wanted it to crash. Nothing serious, of course and no deaths or serious injuries, just bad enough to keep her from getting to her destination – they would call her parents and tell them to take her home after what had obviously been a traumatising incident. Then they’d advise that she stayed at home for at least a week before attempting to even look at another bus again. Maybe...

This was a game Nadia played every day on the bus, inventing a series of events that would stop her from ever getting to her stop. She thought that with the number of reasons she came up with, at least one of them had to come true eventually. She was still waiting.

Unfortunately, it seemed, today wasn’t going to be that day. She sighed as she saw her stop looming ahead of her and tucked her “secret” mp3 player away in the side pocket of the oversized leather bag which she didn’t even like. Nadia had two mp3 players; a bright pink ipod nano with artists who her friends liked and her cheap black mp3 player with the music she liked. They didn’t know about it, of course – there was a reason she called it her secret mp3 player.

She always got off a stop before she needed to. Her friends didn’t know she caught the bus – they thought it was common or something, though she had no idea why and hadn’t asked. Every day she walked the extra ten minutes so they wouldn’t know. It was okay, she told herself. She needed the exercise anyway.

After getting off the bus, she walked as slowly as she could without looking odd but she still got there too quickly. She stood near the entrance for a moment, biting her lip. She really didn’t want to go in...Maybe if she waited a while, something would happen, something amazing which would sweep her off her feet into a whole new exciting world where she didn’t feel the constant need to prove herself, to prove that she was just as good as everyone else. She had trouble convincing even herself sometimes...She just wanted something more. Adventure, excitement, life, anything and everything the world had to offer. She just wanted –

The piercing, shrill sound of the bell made Nadia jump, rousing her out of her reverie. She looked around hopefully, praying for a last minute reprieve, something or someone to take her away and sweep her off her feet. She could walk away; she wouldn’t look back, not for a second. She sighed. There was nothing for it, it had to be done. She hurried through the gates of Mayfield High School, as if getting it done quickly would lessen the pain somehow. It didn’t. As she became part of the swarming mass heading towards their tutor rooms, she wondered why she had thought today might be different. Hadn’t she been let down enough times to know that things never went the way she hoped and dreams only ever came true in the world of Disney?

2. Story of my Life

Somehow, despite her hesitation at the gates, Nadia still managed to get to registration before any of her friends. They’d probably all be together somewhere, and then tease her for being early after sauntering into the classroom ten minutes late.

She was right. They came ten minutes (and seven seconds) late, a long time after Mr. Matthews had taken the register. It hardly surprised her – it only happened every single day. Hannah crept in first, followed by Chloe and Sara who were giggling as they tiptoed across the room towards their seats. Nadia rolled her eyes. As if Mr. Matthews wouldn’t see them; he always did.

“So, girls,” he said amiably “What was it this time? Was there an eyeliner emergency? Did your eyelids get stuck together from that copious amount of mascara you’re wearing? Were you looking for your skirt? Because I hate to point it out, Chloe, but you are actually wearing it! It’s just rolled up so high that it’s very difficult to see. Or were you just trying to annoy me, because after 7 weeks of this, I admit, it’s starting to get to me!”

Mr. Matthews was an English teacher so it always took him a little longer to get to the point than most. Hannah, Chloe and Sara pretended to look abashed and Sara said “Sorry, sir. We didn’t hear the bell,” in an innocent, sugar-laced voice. Mr. Matthews closed his eyes and shook his head dramatically.

“Well maybe you need hearing aids, because that thing is bloody loud.” He waved his arms towards the class, who were completely ignoring the whole thing, having seen it all a million times before. “Just sit down,” he said resignedly, turning back to his desk.

“You know, I don’t understand why you can’t be more like your friend, Nadia.” Nadia froze, oh no, he wasn’t doing this...She closed her eyes. “She’s here on time every single day, her skirt is a decent length, she’s not a walking advertisement for Maybelline and she’s not failing any of her classes...“ Mr. Matthews looked back down at his marking, as the three of them sat down, exchanging smirks and giggling at Nadia. Some friends, she thought miserably. She didn’t think she could blush any harder. She was wrong.

“That’s only ‘cause she fancies you, sir,” said a bright voice from the doorway. The class stopped talking for this one. Nicole stood in the doorway, grinning at Mr. Matthews, “Actually, it’s more of an obsession,” she said thoughtfully. “Didn’t you ever wonder why she’s the only one who actually pays any attention in your lessons?” Sniggers broke out across the room. Nadia wanted to disappear. She should never have woken up that morning. Mr. Matthews looked from Nadia to Nicole his brow furrowed and his eyebrows raised. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Just sit down Nicole.” He said sounding embarrassed. He grabbed a book off his shelf randomly and hid his head behind it. It was an Italian dictionary. And it was upside down.

Nadia turned and glared at Nicole who just grinned unashamedly at her. How could she call that girl her best friend? Nicole strutted up to Nadia and swung down to sit next to her, loving the attention and not bothering to hide it.

“So, how goes it?” asked Nicole casually as if nothing had just happened.

“How goes it?” said Nadia incredulously. “What the hell was that for?”

Nicole pretended to look confused. “What are you talking about Nads?”

Nadia’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, I don’t know...telling Mr. Matthews that blatant lie!”

Nicole raised her eyebrows. “Blatant? That’s a pretty smart word, Nadia. Like something Mr. Matthews would say...Besides, it’s true, you are the only one who listens to him.”

“Yes, because I like English!” she said indignantly.

Nicole laughed. “Yeah, okay then...Nobody likes English, Nadia, I’m not falling for that one.”

Nadia couldn’t think of anything to say. Nicole often had that effect on people.

“Look,” Nicole said casually, “I didn’t know it was some big secret. Besides, everyone will have forgotten by tomorrow – they’re not that interested in you, you know. Are we cool?”

Nadia wanted to say that no, they weren’t cool. She wanted to tell Nicole that she was tired of her putting up with her crap and she was going to go make some new friends and that she so didn’t like Mr. Matthews in that way. She opened her mouth to tell Nicole all this, but they weren’t the words which came out.

“We’re ...cool,” she heard herself say, as if she was listening in from afar.

“Good,” said Nicole shortly. Then she started talking about her weekend, the parties she had gone to and some boy who wouldn’t stop texting her. Nadia just watched her talk animatedly and wondered, not for the first time if Nicole actually realised what she was doing to her. She reached the same conclusion she did every day; of course Nicole knew. She also knew that Nadia would forgive her, whatever she did, and she was right.

After all, it did happen every morning.