Published May 8, 2008
Seeing as this is the first poem I post here, I thought it'd be better, to keep it short and hopefully sweet. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. Thanks!
ECONOMICS
It’s said that money makes the world go round.
Well the conventional currency has weakened.
The new exchange in town is
Life
- Its true value and its true potential.
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I would say this is more a little quote than a poem. It doesn't really have any true elements of poetry, though it is clever. When I saw the title, I thought it would be a poem about how boring and tedious economics class is (I was secretly hoping for this, since it would save me writing one. Economics class is HORRIBLE.) But I was pleasantly surprised by what you wrote, it is sweet, I just think you could give it a more endearing title.
So this was interesting, it was different for one thing. But I can't feel anything when I read it. I know the subject you are talking about, it shines through well, but it doesn't inspire any emotion in me. It's very vague and leaves a lot out. I can't picture anything in my head when reading it.
If I were you I would try reading some poetry and exploring the world of imagination. Paint me a picture, don't just spout out ideas and opinions. I get what you are saying, now I want to feel it.
Also we ask that you do 2 revies for every 1 post you make on here. Keeping a 2:1 ratio of reviews to posts.
Good Luck
OverEasy