Poem: Economics

by Unknown17

Published May 8, 2008

Seeing as this is the first poem I post here, I thought it'd be better, to keep it short and hopefully sweet. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. Thanks!
:)


ECONOMICS

It’s said that money makes the world go round.
Well the conventional currency has weakened.
The new exchange in town is
Life
- Its true value and its true potential.

Comments & reviews · 2
CassandraInvisible wrote a review Review · May 8, 2008

I would say this is more a little quote than a poem. It doesn't really have any true elements of poetry, though it is clever. When I saw the title, I thought it would be a poem about how boring and tedious economics class is (I was secretly hoping for this, since it would save me writing one. Economics class is HORRIBLE.) But I was pleasantly surprised by what you wrote, it is sweet, I just think you could give it a more endearing title.

User avatar
OverEasy
Review
OverEasy wrote a review Review · May 8, 2008

Unknown17 wrote:Seeing as this is the first poem I post here, I thought it'd be better, to keep it short and hopefully sweet. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. Thanks!
:)


ECONOMICS

It’s said that money makes the world go round.
Well the conventional currency has weakened.
The new exchange in town is
Life
- Its true value and its true potential.


So this was interesting, it was different for one thing. But I can't feel anything when I read it. I know the subject you are talking about, it shines through well, but it doesn't inspire any emotion in me. It's very vague and leaves a lot out. I can't picture anything in my head when reading it.

If I were you I would try reading some poetry and exploring the world of imagination. Paint me a picture, don't just spout out ideas and opinions. I get what you are saying, now I want to feel it.

Also we ask that you do 2 revies for every 1 post you make on here. Keeping a 2:1 ratio of reviews to posts.

Good Luck

OverEasy



The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.
— Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest