Tyler wrote:He took a deep breath and relaxed his muscles in preparation for what he must do. He pulled a round, lead ball from his pouch and held it between his thumb and forefinger. The wind strengthened, pushing his hair from his face. He tightened his jaw and reached into another pouch and brought out a small vile filled with a red, sparkling liquid. He uncorked it and poured one drop onto the shot.

Once he had reloaded the rifle and rammed the round with the potion into the barrel, he pushed his back against the tree once more, breathing deep.
He broke at a run down the slope. Trees blew by him in a blur and snow flew from his boots.-This transition is a little jarring, try to make this a little smoother, or change it so it reads "suddenly." I would highly suggest the former suggestion, however, perhaps you could give us something to let us know that the MC is about to do something, and do it suddenly, but we're anticipating it. You could definitely make it that much more dramatic. He could see now the men below him in a rough circle well away from the large creature in their center.
The bark-like skin, the branches and leaves that formed the massive head, the knobby fingers bore fear into Valeryn. Very few peacekeepers had slain a wood troll and lived. He came to a ledge of rock and leapt.

Time slowed.

He lifted the rifle and aimed for the creature’s head.
Flame leapt from the barrel and the boom echoed through the trees. -Okay, so I'm pretty sure you've shot a rifle before, right? And as we know, It is nigh impossible to shoot it (accurately and otherwise) while leaping or running or (insert distracting action here.) Is there anyway you could make him land on the rock, exposing himself to the troll in order to take a shot? Again, this would increase the dramatic tension, and, even though it's fantasy, make it more believable/realistic.
Valeryn released the rifle-could you be a little more specific here please? (E.g., He THREW the rifle aside, etc.) , reached to his back, and pulled a cutlass from its sheath.

The troll roared again as the shot slammed into the base of its head,-Um, unless this has something to do with the story, this guy is incredibly fast! Should you move it to before he pulls out his cutlass? igniting immediately. Valeryn yelled as he fell through the air-I think a better verb could be used here. FELL suggests that he didn’t want to perform the action, something like, "hurled" or "flew" might work better in this instance.and swung the sword with all of his might.
The blade slashed through the woody skin and came off trailing a stream of black blood. He had split a large gash on the troll’s back down to its waist. This was a little confusing, "back down to his waist." I just couldn't picture that for some reason. Could you be more specific? (E.g., "From the center of its spine down to its waist." Or, "from between the shoulder blades," etc.)The creature roared once more and spun.
Valeryn’s eyes widened and he leapt-Again, this verb is a little, bleh. to the side just as a massive fist thudded into the earth where he had stood.

“Aim for the eyes!” He shouted desperately to the men around him.

Valeryn could see a man sprawled out on the ground, blood seeping from a wound but he still seemed alive. Two men on the ridge to his left and three men behind a large boulder on his right. All armed.
Valeryn was certain that there were more. More what!? Men? Trolls? Shots? Please specify.
Another set of shots rang out.
Valeryn moved. These could be combined into one sentence.
The troll slammed its fist into the ground again and then plunged forward after the peacekeeper.

Two more men hid behind trees near the edge of the clearing on the left. Their rifles blasted smoke into the air as they loosed their shot into the lumbering giant.
Valeryn leapt over a log and rolled as the wood shattered. Splinters flew by him and he gasped as a large portion of wood tore through his left cheek and gauged up to his forehead.-Um, is he dead? I think you could stick to just the gash on his cheek, the piece of wood shoving itself into his temple would, well frankly, kill him. I'm pretty sure that's not the effect you are going for here! He fell to his knees. Blood poured from the wound onto his hands. White filled the corners of his vision and his ears began to ring. So, back to the wood part, this wound that he receives would seem much more logical if something (particularly large) were slammed into it. I'm not trying to dictate how you should write this, but some things did not make any sense to me at all.
From far away, he could feel thunderous quakes beneath him. He looked, his eyes squinted, and made out the silhouetted form of the troll running towards him.
Like being pulled from water, the real world rushed back to him. He pushed from his kneeling position and flung himself into a thorny bush.
Needles pricked at him and pierced his flesh. He rolled and then found himself on his feet. Miraculously, he still held his sword. He stumbled back and found a tree. He hardly felt the jab of pain in his shoulder as he fell against the trunk. -I think you could rewrite this entire section to make it a lot better. To keep the action going, so to speak.
“He coming through!”
“Reload that gun, Larus!”
“GET DOWN!” I like this, no signatures for the speakers suggests the confusion of the MC. A thunderous crash shook the ground. Valeryn stumbled.
He spun, anger pouring through his veins. He needed to kill this beast and fast.
“Stay away from the ledge!”

Valeryn burst into a run. Three men had made it onto the ledge out of the small valley and rained shots down onto the troll as it attacked their three friends, who had found a crevice between two huge boulders.
Flames still licked the back of the creature’s head and blood still poured from the wound on its back.

Valeryn pulled a pistol from his belt and fired it into the trolls back. The round sunk into the flesh but did little to gain the troll’s attention.
Valeryn dropped the pistol, sheathed his sword, and drew two daggers.
He came within four feet of the broad back and leapt. Okay, so all this weaponry is great if you've shown the reader previously that he possesses such tools, otherwise it turns into "Deus ex Machina."

His blades sunk deep into the bark. Oh no! I wanted to see him throw the daggers or jump on the troll and start hacking away! Please add something, some form of "hero action" here. The troll roared again and tried to swat him away. Valeryn held tight and with grim determination, was not thrown. The troll stopped once and began staggering backwards towards a tree trunk. Valeryn knew he had to act fast. He ripped his right blade free and thrust it into a higher place on the back. He repeated the action with the left hand and pulled himself to the-should be "its," unless you meant something else, in which case I would suggest to re-word that sentence. wide neck before the beast slammed into the tree.

Valeryn felt his grip falter and he swung backwards, hitting the tree with his legs. The troll stepped forward and then slammed back into the trunk. Valeryn pulled himself onto the troll’s shoulder just before his legs snapped under from the force of the impact. Whoa, again, this dude is moving incredibly fast!

So, you've got some great action here, I liked it.
In some parts though, your prose is choppy. I get the impression that you haven’t been using a thesaurus lately.
I would suggest that you go through and take the time to add better, more fitting verbs and sentence structures. You could make it very, and I mean, VERY dramatic. I want to "see" this like a movie, keep the reader on the edge of their seat!
Other than that, this was a great action sequence. I didn't read the first part, but I just hope it's a great story.
And that brings me to a final point. Don't, under any circumstances, let the action get in the way of the story. I noticed that that was your weakest point in this piece. Other than the brief dialogue between the men, there was very little STORY.
I hope you will be adding more to this later,
over and out.
~E.D.

P.S., I’m a psuedo-expert when it comes to "guns and swords," if you need any reviews, just PM me, m'kay?

Hey it's me again. Once again I loved it. I'm still curious on why it's called The Black Rose though. But I suppose I'll find out over time. I only saw one error that caught my attention:

“He coming through!”

I wasn't sure if you meant to do that because that was what was actually said or you just missed the 's. I hope to read more.